This book, translated from the original French, is a complex mystery in which a famous sixty-something author named Harry Quebert is accused of murder. The murder charge turns out to be a golden opportunity for Harry's protégé, a 28-year-old writer named Marcus Goldman.
Marcus is a one-hit wonder who's under contract to deliver a second book SOON! Unfortunately Marcus has severe writer's block and can't manage to type a single word.....until he hits on the idea of proving that Harry is innocent and writing a book about it.
The story alternates back and forth between the present, when Harry is accused of murder, and 33 years ago, when the homicide occurred.
*****
In the late 1970s, 34-year-old writer/English professor Harry Quebert was a mildly successful writer who'd published a single book.
Needing a quiet place to pen his second novel, Harry rented a house near the beach in rural Somerset, New Hampshire.
The people of Somerset were thrilled to have 'a famous writer' in their midst and Harry was feted and fawned over - especially by the ladies.
Harry was standing on the Somerset beach one inclement afternoon when he saw fifteen-year-old Nola Kellergan dancing in the rain.
Cupid's arrow flew true that day because it was love at first sight for Harry and Nola. 😍
Of course a romance between a thirtysomething man and an underage teen is wildly inappropriate (and illegal), and Harry made attempts to keep his distance. Part of Harry's strategy was to feign interest in a pretty blonde waitress named Jenny Quinn, who worked in a diner owned by her mother Tamara Quinn.
Harry's mild flirtatiousness gave Jenny and Tamara notions of matrimony, and their machinations are hilarious. 😊
For Nola, however, Harry's coolness was a trigger, and her attempted suicide served to cement the relationship between herself and the writer.
Harry's illicit romance with Nola was the inspiration for his second novel, 'The Origin of Evil', which turned out to be a smash best seller that made Harry famous all over the world.
Before 'The Origin of Evil' was published, however, Harry and Nola planned to run away and elope. On the very night the lovers were meant to flee, Nola vanished. Moreover, a woman who called the police to say she saw Nola running from a man was shot dead.
The police investigate Nola's disappearance and the woman's homicide, but neither case is solved. Harry goes into deep mourning, and - hoping Nola returns one day - remains in Somerset.
Then, 33 years later, Harry hires gardeners to landscape his lawn, and Nola's body is found buried on his property. As if that's not bad enough, an early draft of Harry's book 'The Origin of Evil' is interred with the corpse. Harry is arrested and - because he's so famous - the news makes headlines around the world.
It looks like the trial will be open-and-shut until writer Marcus Goldman gets involved.
Marcus partners up with Police Sergeant Perry Gahalowood to investigate Nola's murder, and all kinds of secrets come to light......secrets that people are desperate to keep hidden.
Thus Marcus is threatened and harassed in an effort to drive him out of town.
Marcus carries on, though, and makes many false steps before the truth is revealed. To give away more would be a spoiler, but it's safe to say the book has more twists and turns than Disney World's Space Mountain Roller Coaster.
*****
This novel by Swiss author Joël Dicker was a best seller when it was published in 2012, and received rave reviews.
Author Joël Dicker
That said, my feelings about the book aren't as laudatory. I agree that the main story is a compelling whodunit. I also like some of the side plots, especially Marcus's interactions with his publisher, who threatens, cajoles, and wheedles to get Marcus to deliver a second book. The publisher is even thrilled that Marcus was almost killed, since this will increase sales exponentially. All this is good fun. 😊
On the downside, the book has some serious flaws (IMO). My next comments may contain spoilers so read them at your own risk.
SPOILER ALERT
SPOILER ALERT
- The story is repetitive and - at over 650 pages - much too long.
- Harry's obsession with underage Nola is overwritten, cringeworthy, and not believable.
- The mental illness facets of the plot don't ring true.
- The men in Somerset seem to be drinking from the crazy fountain.
- Harry Quebert's novel, 'The Origin of Evil' is a mundane romance about people from different classes. It would never be a blockbuster and Harry wouldn't be super-famous.
- Marcus's Jewish mother is an overused stereotype, and her constant nagging about Marcus getting a girlfriend is annoying.
- The Russian Doll structure of the book is overdone. Every time the case seems to be solved, it's not. This gets old fast. I literally couldn't wait for the book to end.
END SPOILER ALERT
END SPOILER ALERT
That said, if you have time for a lengthy mystery with a satisfying conclusion and a lot of humor, this is the book for you.
FYI: The book has been adapted to a mini-series starring Patrick Dempsey as Harry Quebert and Ben Schnetzer as Marcus Goldman.
Rating: 3.5 stars
Hester Crimstein - the formidable criminal defense lawyer who easily bests police and prosecutors - is a secondary character in Harlan Coben's 'Myron Bolitar' series. In this book Hester gets a starring role when her grandson comes to her for help.
The novel is a standalone and appears to be the start of a new series.
*****
Sixteen-year-old Matthew Crimstein, who attends Westville High School in New Jersey, has a problem.
Matthew feels guilty for sitting by - day after day - while his classmate Naomi is tormented by a group of bullies. The yobbos, led by entitled Crash Maynard, jeer at Naomi; call her names; throw rubber bands and spitballs; whisper nasty things; and so on.
Then one day Naomi vanishes.
Matthew seeks out his grandmother, criminal defense attorney Hester Crimstein, while she's taping her television show 'Crimstein on Crime.' Matthew explains about Naomi, and says, "Nana, I want you to help."
Hester gets right on the job by enlisting the assistance of a man called Wilde, who has a VERY unusual history.
In 1986, when he was around 6 years old, Wilde was discovered living on his own in New Jersey's Ramapo State Forest, near the suburb of Westville. Wilde spoke and understood English, but had no idea who he was or how long he'd been living alone in the woods.
At that time Hester and her family lived in Westville, and Wilde became close friends with Hester's son David. When they grew up, Wilde became godfather to David's son Matthew; and when David died in a tragic accident, Wilde became a father figure to the boy.
Wilde is just the person to investigate Naomi's disappearance. He's a part-time private investigator; is adept at surveillance and tracking; can expertly navigate the woods; and is a former special forces soldier.
While Wilde is looking into Naomi's disappearance, he comes into contact with school bully Crash Maynard and Crash's wealthy parents, Dash and Delia Maynard (I love these names 😊).
As it happens, Dash is a reality show producer who's sponsoring the presidential campaign of former reality star Rusty Eggers - a HIGHLY controversial figure. Eggers is a vain narcissist and egotistical sociopath, and many people would do anything to take him down.
One anti-Eggers activist is attorney Saul Strauss, who's certain Dash Maynard has tapes that would destroy Eggers.....AND HE MEANS TO GET THEM. Thus, the Maynard family is guarded by security expert Gavin Chambers and his team of thugs.
As the story unfolds another high schooler vanishes and Dash Maynard is put under EXTREME pressure to hand over the 'incriminating tapes' about Rusty Eggers.
Since the pair of teen disappearances may be linked, Hester and Wilde take an interest in both cases, and Wilde makes it his mission to locate both kids.
While all this is going on, widowed Hester - who now lives in New York - becomes reacquainted with Westville police chief Oren Carmichael. Carmichael is nearly 70 years old, but "remained what he'd always been - a grade-A prime slice of top-shelf beefcake." So sparks fly there. 😍
And Matthew's widowed mother Laila, a beautiful black woman, also puts a toe in the dating world.
The romances add a flirty element to the story, but I simply can't believe that Hester - the toughest broad in New York - goes googly-eyed over a man. 😏
An underlying motif of the book involves Wilde's origins. Who were his parents and how did he come to grow up in the woods all by himself? Wilde takes initial steps to unravel this puzzle, and his childhood will probably be explored more in future books.
This is an engaging story that alludes to familiar American events, so it's kind of a twofer: a mystery and a mildly political novel. The book isn't Coben's best work (IMO), but I enjoyed it and look forward to further escapades involving Hester Crimstein and Wilde.
Thanks to Netgalley, the author (Harlan Coben), and the publisher (Grand Central Publishing) for a copy of the book.
Rating: 3 stars
Author Mikel Jollett
Mikel Jollett, frontman for the indie rock band Airborne Toxic Event, had a tumultuous childhood.
Airborne Toxic Event
Mikel Jollett performing
Jollett's parents were members of Synanon, a California cult that began as a drug rehab organization. Synanon was founded in 1958, and aspired to be a place "where people lived, all together, being honest and free and not taking drugs."
Synanon
Synanon started as a rehab facility for drug addicts
Synanon's mission was to change the world for the better, but it soon devolved into a dangerous, violent cult that separated families. By the time Mikel was born in 1974, six-month-old babies were taken from their parents and put in an orphanage-like 'school' where they were raised by strangers and rarely - or in some cases never - saw their parents.
In Synanon, children were separated from their parents
Mikel recalls, "We had Demonstrators who were like teachers, and classes and songs and I was lucky because I had a Bonnie. She would hug me every day and call me "Suuuuuun" and ask me what I want for a snack." Mikel also had friends - Cassidy, Guy, Dmitri, and Noah. Mikel even got to see his parents on rare occasions, and happily remembers his dad, Jim Jollett, riding up on a motorcycle and playing with him at the beach.
Mikel with his father Jim
Mikel's older brother Tony was especially isolated at Synanon. Mikel writes, "Tony used to sit alone at the edge of the playground all day. He didn't trust the adults and he didn't play with other kids that much. Maybe it's because someone did bad things to him.....The kids would get hit really hard or locked in a closet and there was no mom or dad to tell because they lived somewhere else and you couldn't even remember their faces."
When Mikel was five and Tony was seven, their mother Gerry staged a nighttime rescue and fled from the cult, a risky move that could result in beatings and even murder.
The Jolletts managed to escape, however, and Mikel and Tony finally got to meet their maternal Grandma and Grandpa in San Jose, as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins - an extended 'family' that bewildered Mikel, who couldn't imagine having relatives.
Mikel and Tony's father Jim left Synanon as well, but moved in with another woman.
Mikel with his father Jim
Mikel and Tony with their father Jim
Mikel's mom was angry and hurt by her husband's desertion, and longed for 'a man to take care of her.' Thus, when the family moved to Berkeley, a former cult member named Phil joined them. Phil was almost a father figure to the boys until two Synanon thugs caught up with him.
Mikel, who saw what happened, remembers, "The men have something like masks the color of skin that push their noses flat against their faces. Even in the masks you can tell they both have shaved heads, which means they're from Synanon."
The goons beat Phil to a pulp with "skinny black clubs", then asked a group of gawking children, "Do any of you know where Tony and Mikel are?" Luckily the kids didn't answer, and the Jollett family fled to Salem, Oregon, where Mikel's mom thought they'd be safe.
When Synanon became a cult, members had to shave their heads
Life in Oregon was hard. Gerry got involved with one man after another, all of them addicts of some kind. Thus, though the boyfriends might be kind - and even avuncular - to Tony and Mikel, they inevitably took off (or died) after a while. The family was also desperately poor. Mom worked as a counselor for ex-convict drug addicts, but money was scarce and the Jolletts wore thrift store clothes and raised rabbits for food.
For a long time the family ate rabbits most nights. Mikel notes, "Mom makes baked rabbit and lemon rabbit. She makes stir-fry rabbit with peppers and onions and 'rabbit surprise', which is leftover baked rabbit that has been cut up and put into a casserole dish." Mikel relates an amusing (but stomach-churning) story about Mom serving the same increasingly gluey rabbit stew four days in a row....until it was a grayish brown mass in the center of the pot. 😝
Baked rabbit
Rabbit stew
Besides being deprived of material things, Mikel and Tony got no emotional support from their mother, who suffered from depression and other psychological maladies. Gerry even seemed to inhabit an alternate reality. When Mikel told his mother "I'm scared of the [Synanon] men, Mom", she would say "No you're not. You're happy because you're with your mother now." When Mikel told his mother he was having nightmares about Phil's pummeling, she'd insist, "You're fine. You weren't even there." Then Gerry would lament, "This has been really hard on me."
Mom's denial of Mikel's feelings, and constant deflection to HER feelings, wasn't a one-off but went on for years. Mikel's concerns were dismissed and he was expected to take care of his mother. When Mom was sad or crying, Mikel would lean against her and say "It's okay, Mom. One day at a time" - and other phrases he picked up from AA and Alanon. The Jolletts attended numerous 12-step meetings and AA family campouts because 'addiction is a family problem.'
The Jolletts attended many AA meetings
Tony, who was more lonely and damaged than Mikel, had an even harder time than his brother. Tony was constantly angry, compulsively acted out, and bullied Mikel relentlessly. Eventually Tony, and then Mikel, moved to Los Angeles to live with their father, who was by then cohabiting with Bonnie - Mikel's affectionate caretaker from Synanon.
The boys would return to Oregon during summer breaks, and Mikel's visits with Mom were always difficult for him. Gerry would continuously lament her situation and make Mikel feel guilty for 'deserting his mother.'
Even though Dad was a former drug addict, a onetime criminal, and an ex-convict, he and Bonnie were the saviors that gave the boys a stable loving home. In addition, Bonnie's extended Jewish family treated the boys like beloved mishpucha. Nevertheless, as pre-teens and teens, Tony and Mikel constantly snuck out, drank, partied, used drugs, and got into trouble. Both boys also had problems sustaining relationships with girls because of their abandonment issues from childhood.
Despite misbehaving and skiving off school, Mikel was a gifted student who ran track, finished high school, and eventually graduated from Stanford University. Mikel had been obsessed with music since he was a youth, and took it up professionally as an adult - writing articles about concerts, interviewing rock stars, and finally becoming a singer/songwriter with his own band.
Everything Mikel did was made more difficult by the emotional and psychological damage he'd experienced as a child. Mikel exhaustively (maybe a bit too exhaustively) documents his constant disorientation; the ongoing difficulties with his mother; and the PTSD-like symptoms he experienced for decades.
Mikel discusses many things about himself and his life, including his round Dutch cheeks and large childhood overbite; his Dad teaching him to beat up a school bully; his Dad taking him to Hollywood Park to bet on the horse races; Tony's Goth phase and drug addiction; the illnesses and deaths of various family members; and much more. He also recalls happy times with friends, and the wonderful relatives that supported him unconditionally.
Mikel's brother Tony Jollett
Mikel with his father and brother
In the end, Mikel required extensive therapy to become a whole, healthy person, and it's gratifying to see that - with great effort - a seriously damaged child can become a successful adult.
The book tackles serious subjects, but does contain some humor. For instance, Mom talked so much about "Thatasshole Reagan" that Mikel was shocked to learn the presidential candidate's real name was Ronald. 😊
Ronald Reagan (aka "Thatasshole Reagan")
And Grandma Juliette (Bonnie's mom) didn't care if Mikel heard dirty jokes. He recalls, "If someone says, "Mom, where is the fuckin' ice? I've been looking all over for it", she puts her hands over my ears and says "Don't you ever say the word 'ice' in front of my grandson."
This is a well-written poignant memoir that's ultimately optimistic about healing, redemption, and love. Highly recommended.
Thank you to Celadon Books and Mikel Jollett for a copy of the book and the View Master with pictures.
Rating: 4 stars
Author Mikel Jollett
Mikel Jollett, frontman for the indie rock band Airborne Toxic Event, had a tumultuous childhood.
Airborne Toxic Event
Mikel Jollett performing
Jollett's parents were members of Synanon, a California cult that began as a drug rehab organization. Synanon was founded in 1958, and aspired to be a place "where people lived, all together, being honest and free and not taking drugs."
Synanon
Synanon started as a rehab facility for drug addicts
Synanon's mission was to change the world for the better, but it soon devolved into a dangerous, violent cult that separated families. By the time Mikel was born in 1974, six-month-old babies were taken from their parents and put in an orphanage-like 'school' where they were raised by strangers and rarely - or in some cases never - saw their parents.
In Synanon, children were separated from their parents
Mikel recalls, "We had Demonstrators who were like teachers, and classes and songs and I was lucky because I had a Bonnie. She would hug me every day and call me "Suuuuuun" and ask me what I want for a snack." Mikel also had friends - Cassidy, Guy, Dmitri, and Noah. Mikel even got to see his parents on rare occasions, and happily remembers his dad, Jim Jollett, riding up on a motorcycle and playing with him at the beach.
Mikel with his father Jim
Mikel's older brother Tony was especially isolated at Synanon. Mikel writes, "Tony used to sit alone at the edge of the playground all day. He didn't trust the adults and he didn't play with other kids that much. Maybe it's because someone did bad things to him.....The kids would get hit really hard or locked in a closet and there was no mom or dad to tell because they lived somewhere else and you couldn't even remember their faces."
When Mikel was five and Tony was seven, their mother Gerry staged a nighttime rescue and fled from the cult, a risky move that could result in beatings and even murder.
The Jolletts managed to escape, however, and Mikel and Tony finally got to meet their maternal Grandma and Grandpa in San Jose, as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins - an extended 'family' that bewildered Mikel, who couldn't imagine having relatives.
Mikel and Tony's father left Synanon as well, but moved in with another woman.
Mikel with his father Jim
Mikel and Tony with their father Jim
Mikel's mom was angry and hurt by her husband's desertion, and longed for 'a man to take care of her.' Thus, when the family moved to Berkeley, a former cult member named Phil joined them. Phil was almost a father figure to the boys until two Synanon thugs caught up with him.
Mikel, who saw what happened, remembers, "The men have something like masks the color of skin that push their noses flat against their faces. Even in the masks you can tell they both have shaved heads, which means they're from Synanon."
The goons beat Phil to a pulp with "skinny black clubs", then asked a group of gawking children, "Do any of you know where Tony and Mikel are?" Luckily the kids didn't answer, and the Jollett family fled to Salem, Oregon, where Mikel's mom thought they'd be safe.
When Synanon became a cult, members had to shave their heads
Life in Oregon was hard. Gerry got involved with one man after another, all of them addicts of some kind. Thus, though the boyfriends might be kind - and even avuncular - to Tony and Mikel, they inevitably took off (or died) after a while. The family was also desperately poor. Mom worked as a counselor for ex-convict drug addicts, but money was scarce and the Jolletts wore thrift store clothes and raised rabbits for food.
For a long time the family ate rabbits most nights. Mikel notes, "Mom makes baked rabbit and lemon rabbit. She makes stir-fry rabbit with peppers and onions and 'rabbit surprise', which is leftover baked rabbit that has been cut up and put into a casserole dish." Mikel relates an amusing (but stomach-churning) story about Mom serving the same increasingly gluey rabbit stew four days in a row....until it was a grayish brown mass in the center of the pot. 😝
Baked rabbit
Rabbit stew
Besides being deprived of material things, Mikel and Tony got no emotional support from their mother, who suffered from depression and other psychological maladies. Gerry even seemed to inhabit an alternate reality. When Mikel told his mother "I'm scared of the [Synanon] men, Mom", she would say "No you're not. You're happy because you're with your mother now." When Mikel told his mother he was having nightmares about Phil's pummeling, she'd insist, "You're fine. You weren't even there." Then Gerry would lament, "This has been really hard on me."
Mom's denial of Mikel's feelings, and constant deflection to HER feelings, wasn't a one-off but went on for years. Mikel's concerns were dismissed and he was expected to take care of his mother. When Mom was sad or crying, Mikel would lean against her and say "It's okay, Mom. One day at a time" - and other phrases he picked up from AA and Alanon. The Jolletts attended numerous 12-step meetings and AA family campouts because 'addiction is a family problem.'
The Jolletts attended many AA meetings
Tony, who was more lonely and damaged than Mikel, had an even harder time than his brother. Tony was constantly angry, compulsively acted out, and bullied Mikel relentlessly. Eventually Tony, and then Mikel, moved to Los Angeles to live with their father, who was by then cohabiting with Bonnie - Mikel's affectionate caretaker from Synanon.
The boys would return to Oregon during summer breaks, and Mikel's visits with Mom were always difficult for him. Gerry would continuously lament her situation and make Mikel feel guilty for 'deserting his mother.'
Even though Dad was a former drug addict, a onetime criminal, and an ex-convict, he and Bonnie were the saviors that gave the boys a stable loving home. In addition, Bonnie's extended Jewish family treated the boys like beloved mishpucha. Nevertheless, as pre-teens and teens, Tony and Mikel constantly snuck out, drank, partied, used drugs, and got into trouble. Both boys also had problems sustaining relationships with girls because of their abandonment issues from childhood.
Despite misbehaving and skiving off school, Mikel was a gifted student who ran track, finished high school, and eventually graduated from Stanford University. Mikel had been obsessed with music since he was a youth, and took it up professionally as an adult - writing articles about concerts, interviewing rock stars, and finally becoming a singer/songwriter with his own band.
Everything Mikel did was made more difficult by the emotional and psychological damage he'd experienced as a child. Mikel exhaustively (maybe a bit too exhaustively) documents his constant disorientation; the ongoing difficulties with his mother; and the PTSD-like symptoms he experienced for decades.
Mikel discusses many things about himself and his life, including his round Dutch cheeks and large childhood overbite; his Dad teaching him to beat up a school bully; his Dad taking him to Hollywood Park to bet on the horse races; Tony's Goth phase and drug addiction; the illnesses and deaths of various family members; and much more. He also recalls happy times with friends, and the wonderful relatives that supported him unconditionally.
Mikel's brother Tony Jollett
Mikel with his father and brother
In the end, Mikel required extensive therapy to become a whole, healthy person, and it's gratifying to see that - with great effort - a seriously damaged child can become a successful adult.
The book tackles serious subjects, but does contain some humor. For instance, Mom talked so much about "Thatasshole Reagan" that Mikel was shocked to learn the presidential candidate's real name was Ronald. 😊
Ronald Reagan (aka "Thatasshole Reagan")
And Grandma Juliette (Bonnie's mom) didn't care if Mikel heard dirty jokes. He recalls, "If someone says, "Mom, where is the fuckin' ice? I've been looking all over for it", she puts her hands over my ears and says "Don't you ever say the word 'ice' in front of my grandson."
This is a well-written poignant memoir that's ultimately optimistic about healing, redemption, and love. Highly recommended.
Author Mikel Jollett
Mikel Jollett, frontman for the indie rock band Airborne Toxic Event, had a tumultuous childhood.
Airborne Toxic Event
Mikel Jollett performing
Jollett's parents were members of Synanon, a California cult that began as a drug rehab organization. Synanon was founded in 1958, and aspired to be a place "where people lived, all together, being honest and free and not taking drugs."
Synanon
Synanon started as a rehab facility for drug addicts
Synanon's mission was to change the world for the better, but it soon devolved into a dangerous, violent cult that separated families. By the time Mikel was born in 1974, six-month-old babies were taken from their parents and put in an orphanage-like 'school' where they were raised by strangers and rarely - or in some cases never - saw their parents.
In Synanon, children were separated from their parents
Mikel recalls, "We had Demonstrators who were like teachers, and classes and songs and I was lucky because I had a Bonnie. She would hug me every day and call me "Suuuuuun" and ask me what I want for a snack." Mikel also had friends - Cassidy, Guy, Dmitri, and Noah. Mikel even got to see his parents on rare occasions, and happily remembers his dad, Jim Jollett, riding up on a motorcycle and playing with him at the beach.
Mikel with his father Jim
Mikel's older brother Tony was especially isolated at Synanon. Mikel writes, "Tony used to sit alone at the edge of the playground all day. He didn't trust the adults and he didn't play with other kids that much. Maybe it's because someone did bad things to him.....The kids would get hit really hard or locked in a closet and there was no mom or dad to tell because they lived somewhere else and you couldn't even remember their faces."
When Mikel was five and Tony was seven, their mother Gerry staged a nighttime rescue and fled from the cult, a risky move that could result in beatings and even murder.
The Jolletts managed to escape, however, and Mikel and Tony finally got to meet their maternal Grandma and Grandpa in San Jose, as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins - an extended 'family' that bewildered Mikel, who couldn't imagine having relatives.
Mikel and Tony's father left Synanon as well, but moved in with another woman.
Mikel with his father Jim
Mikel and Tony with their father Jim
Mikel's mom was angry and hurt by her husband's desertion, and longed for 'a man to take care of her.' Thus, when the family moved to Berkeley, a former cult member named Phil joined them. Phil was almost a father figure to the boys until two Synanon thugs caught up with him.
Mikel, who saw what happened, remembers, "The men have something like masks the color of skin that push their noses flat against their faces. Even in the masks you can tell they both have shaved heads, which means they're from Synanon."
The goons beat Phil to a pulp with "skinny black clubs", then asked a group of gawking children, "Do any of you know where Tony and Mikel are?" Luckily the kids didn't answer, and the Jollett family fled to Salem, Oregon, where Mikel's mom thought they'd be safe.
When Synanon became a cult, members had to shave their heads
Life in Oregon was hard. Gerry got involved with one man after another, all of them addicts of some kind. Thus, though the boyfriends might be kind - and even avuncular - to Tony and Mikel, they inevitably took off (or died) after a while. The family was also desperately poor. Mom worked as a counselor for ex-convict drug addicts, but money was scarce and the Jolletts wore thrift store clothes and raised rabbits for food.
For a long time the family ate rabbits most nights. Mikel notes, "Mom makes baked rabbit and lemon rabbit. She makes stir-fry rabbit with peppers and onions and 'rabbit surprise', which is leftover baked rabbit that has been cut up and put into a casserole dish." Mikel relates an amusing (but stomach-churning) story about Mom serving the same increasingly gluey rabbit stew four days in a row....until it was a grayish brown mass in the center of the pot. 😝
Baked rabbit
Rabbit stew
Besides being deprived of material things, Mikel and Tony got no emotional support from their mother, who suffered from depression and other psychological maladies. Gerry even seemed to inhabit an alternate reality. When Mikel told his mother "I'm scared of the [Synanon] men, Mom", she would say "No you're not. You're happy because you're with your mother now." When Mikel told his mother he was having nightmares about Phil's pummeling, she'd insist, "You're fine. You weren't even there." Then Gerry would lament, "This has been really hard on me."
Mom's denial of Mikel's feelings, and constant deflection to HER feelings, wasn't a one-off but went on for years. Mikel's concerns were dismissed and he was expected to take care of his mother. When Mom was sad or crying, Mikel would lean against her and say "It's okay, Mom. One day at a time" - and other phrases he picked up from AA and Alanon. The Jolletts attended numerous 12-step meetings and AA family campouts because 'addiction is a family problem.'
The Jolletts attended many AA meetings
Tony, who was more lonely and damaged than Mikel, had an even harder time than his brother. Tony was constantly angry, compulsively acted out, and bullied Mikel relentlessly. Eventually Tony, and then Mikel, moved to Los Angeles to live with their father, who was by then cohabiting with Bonnie - Mikel's affectionate caretaker from Synanon.
The boys would return to Oregon during summer breaks, and Mikel's visits with Mom were always difficult for him. Gerry would continuously lament her situation and make Mikel feel guilty for 'deserting his mother.'
Even though Dad was a former drug addict, a onetime criminal, and an ex-convict, he and Bonnie were the saviors that gave the boys a stable loving home. In addition, Bonnie's extended Jewish family treated the boys like beloved mishpucha. Nevertheless, as pre-teens and teens, Tony and Mikel constantly snuck out, drank, partied, used drugs, and got into trouble. Both boys also had problems sustaining relationships with girls because of their abandonment issues from childhood.
Despite misbehaving and skiving off school, Mikel was a gifted student who ran track, finished high school, and eventually graduated from Stanford University. Mikel had been obsessed with music since he was a youth, and took it up professionally as an adult - writing articles about concerts, interviewing rock stars, and finally becoming a singer/songwriter with his own band.
Everything Mikel did was made more difficult by the emotional and psychological damage he'd experienced as a child. Mikel exhaustively (maybe a bit too exhaustively) documents his constant disorientation; the ongoing difficulties with his mother; and the PTSD-like symptoms he experienced for decades.
Mikel discusses many things about himself and his life, including his round Dutch cheeks and large childhood overbite; his Dad teaching him to beat up a school bully; his Dad taking him to Hollywood Park to bet on the horse races; Tony's Goth phase and drug addiction; the illnesses and deaths of various family members; and much more. He also recalls happy times with friends, and the wonderful relatives that supported him unconditionally.
Mikel's brother Tony Jollett
Mikel with his father and brother
In the end, Mikel required extensive therapy to become a whole, healthy person, and it's gratifying to see that - with great effort - a seriously damaged child can become a successful adult.
The book tackles serious subjects, but does contain some humor. For instance, Mom talked so much about "Thatasshole Reagan" that Mikel was shocked to learn the presidential candidate's real name was Ronald. 😊
Ronald Reagan (aka "Thatasshole Reagan")
And Grandma Juliette (Bonnie's mom) didn't care if Mikel heard dirty jokes. He recalls, "If someone says, "Mom, where is the fuckin' ice? I've been looking all over for it", she puts her hands over my ears and says "Don't you ever say the word 'ice' in front of my grandson."
This is a well-written poignant memoir that's ultimately optimistic about healing, redemption, and love. Highly recommended.
