Review of "Becoming: A Memoir" by Michelle Obama

The job of First Lady - which is essentially to dress well, attend public functions, support your husband, and perhaps take up a worthy cause or two - would be confining for anyone, much less a woman of Michelle Obama's abilities, drive, and accomplishments. Michelle had to give up a distinguished career in public service to help her spouse Barack Obama achieve his ambitions, and she (at least publicly) doesn't regret it. In fact, while in the White House, Michelle was able to advance some causes close to her heart, including:

- Improving children's health. This started with Michelle's White House garden, planted by fifth graders, and branched out to important changes in the food industry - especially those supplying food to schools. Michelle's efforts also resulted in many schoolkids getting more time for vigorous play and exercise.


Working in the White House garden - planted to inspire children to eat better

- Bettering the lot of servicemen. Michelle - in conjunction with Jill Biden (the Second Lady) - made it her mission to help military familes. Thus Michelle frequently visited military hospitals, talked to patients and their relatives, and convinced businesses to hire and train veterans and military spouses.


Michelle Obama visiting a military hospital - Michelle helped veterans get jobs

- Boosting education for girls. Michelle (and Barack) worked assiduously to get girls around the world the schooling they deserve. In the U.S., Michelle's efforts helped millions of girls sign up for federal student aid; got increased support for school counselors; and launched National College Signing Day - a commemoration of young people and their pursuit of higher education beyond high school.


Michelle Obama on National College Signing Day - Michelle encouraged students to continue schooling/training after high school

Taking all this into account, I'm still irked that any woman - especially a college and law school graduate - has to dim her lights so her husband can pursue his dream. Now that her tenure in the White House is over, I'm hoping for great things from Michelle.....though she vows that politics is not for her and she'll never run for President.

*****

Michelle Robinson grew up in a strong nuclear family on the South Side of Chicago. Michelle, her older brother Craig, and their parents rented the upstairs apartment of a small two-family home owned by a great aunt and uncle. Michelle's mother was a stay-at-home mom and her father tended boilers at a water-filtration plant.


Marian and Fraser Robinson with Craig and Michelle - the Robinsons aimed high for their children

Growing up, Michelle was enveloped by relatives, and during her family's regular weekend outings they would always visit with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Michelle's favorite destination was the home of her maternal grandfather 'Southside', who would cook for everyone and play music from his extensive record collection.

Michelle's forebears had few chances to better themselves. Her paternal grandfather 'Dandy' moved to Chicago in the 1930s, hoping to earn money to go to college. But African Americans couldn't get good jobs - such as electricians, steelworkers, carpenters, or plumbers - because they were denied union cards. So Dandy became a handyman and gave up the idea of getting a higher education.

This kind of discrimination thwarted the advancement of generations of African Americans, and Michelle's parents were determined to help Craig and Michelle succeed. Michelle's mother Marian was an especially powerful force. When Michelle reported that her second grade teacher couldn't teach or control the classroom, Marian said "Oh dear" and quietly lobbied the school. Michelle was then tested.....and placed in an orderly third grade class. In later life, Michelle thought back with concern, wondering what happened to the kids who'd been left behind.


Young Michelle Robinson - Michelle's mom made sure she got a good teacher

When Michelle's father Fraser Robinson was in his thirties he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Over the years Fraser's symptoms worsened and his mobility declined, but he continued to do fun things with his family - like going for drives and taking a yearly vacation at 'Dukes Happy Holiday Resort' in Michigan. Even when Fraser had to use a walker, and then a wheelchair, he didn't miss a day of work and never complained. Fraser was the sort of person who "just kept moving forward", and this undoubtedly sent a powerful message to his children.

As Craig and Michelle got older, their parents treated them like mature individuals and talked to them about drugs, sex, life choices, race, inequality, and politics. Marian and Fraser then left their offspring to make their own decisions, trusting they'd do the right thing.

Michelle's journey through school was eased by her brother Craig, who was two years ahead of her. Craig - who got good grades and was a basketball star - was very popular with teachers and schoolmates.....and being his sister was a huge plus. Nevertheless, Michelle's constant worry was, "Am I good enough?"

Michelle's anxiety increased when she tested into Chicago's first magnet school - Whitney M. Young High School - which had a much more diverse group of students than Michelle was used to. In addition to kids from working class neighborhoods like hers, there were white students from Chicago's prosperous North Side, and members of the 'African American elite', who belonged to social clubs, took ski vacations and traveled overseas.....things completely off young Michelle's radar. To keep up with her classmates - or even forge ahead - Michelle worked extra hard at schoolwork, homework, and extracurricular activities.


Michelle Robinson in high school

This compulsion continued at Princeton University, where Michelle was one of few females, and even fewer African Americans. Socially, Michelle was most comfortable at Princeton's 'Third World Center' (TWC) where students of color gathered. Scholastically, Michelle took her minority status as a mandate to overperform - to keep up with or even pass by more privileged students.

At Princeton Michelle got a work-study position with Czerny Brasuell, the director of the TWC. Michelle describes Czerny as an 'uber mentor' who lobbied for more inclusive policies for minorities and helped individual students improve their lot. Czerny became a role model for Michelle, who admired her work ethic and accomplishments.


Czerny Brasuell - Director of Princeton's Third World Center - she was a big influence on Michelle


Michelle Robinson at Princeton University


Michelle Robinson's college graduation picture

After Princeton, Michelle attended Harvard Law School, then got a position with Chicago's prestigious Sidley & Austin Law Firm. There she was asked to mentor an incoming summer associate - a law student from Harvard - who turned out to be Barack Obama. Michelle and Barack started out as mentor and mentee, became friends, started to date, then fell in love. Michelle describes Barack as "a catch." He was good-looking, poised, successful, athletic, interesting and kind. Barack was also cerebral, and though he could be lighthearted, always had a sense of obligation...to help his community.


Michelle Robinson and Barack Obama at Sidley & Austin Law Firm - Michelle was Barack's mentor when he was a summer associate


Michelle Robinson and Barack Obama - young and in love 💖

In the part of the book titled 'Becoming Us', Michelle writes about the development of her relationship with Barack; his delightful surprise proposal; their engagement; and their wedding - which was a large, joyous affair. Unfortunately, Fraser Robinson had succumbed to his illness two years before the nuptials, so Craig walked his sister down the aisle.


The Bride


The Bride and Groom

Michelle wasn't satisfied being a corporate lawyer and wanted a job where she could help the community. Thus Michelle took a steep cut in salary to become an assistant to Chicago's Mayor Daley. Afterwards, Michelle's career advanced step by step as she became executive director of the Chicago chapter of 'Public Allies' - which trains young people to work in community organizations and non-profit agencies; then associate Dean at the University of Chicago - where she focused on community relations; and finally Executive Director for Community Affairs at the The University of Chicago Medical Center - where she promoted community outreach.

Along the way Michelle met Susan Sher and Valerie Jarrett, two women "who were confident and ran meetings and spoke their minds and influenced people; women who knew their voices and were unafraid to use them.....and were mothers." That was exactly what Michellle wanted, "everything", a work life and a home life.


Michelle Obama and Susan Sher - a role model/mentor


Michelle Obama and Valerie Jarrett - a role model/mentor

In the meantime, Barack was pursuing his career: teaching a class about racism at the University of Chicago Law School; working at a law firm; running community-organizing workshops; and revising his book 'Dreams From My Father.' Anxious to do good things, Barack entered politics, and Michelle describes the trajectory of his political career, from State Senator to President.

As their careers advanced, Michelle and Barack decided to start a family - which was easier said than done. Michelle had trouble getting pregnant; suffered a heartbreaking miscarriage; and used IVF to conceive Malia and then Sasha. Michelle and Barack were happy and devoted parents, but Barack's career required long stints away from home, so the brunt of 'home responsbilities' fell to Michelle.


Michelle and Barack Obama with Malia and Sasha

Michelle was at least partly prepared for political life because of her high school friendship with Santita Jackson, daughter of the civil rights activist, Baptist minister, and politician Jesse Jackson. Hanging around Santita's house, Michelle was exposed to the life of a political leader - with people constantly coming and going; plans alway being made; and Jackson's frequent absences from home.


Michelle's friend Santita Jackson with her father Jesse Jackson

Once Barack started running for President, life became grueling for both himself and Michelle. Michelle had an extensive role in the campaign and - particularly because she was black - was "under a microscope." Everything Michelle said and did and wore was scrutinized, and Republicans and the right wing media took every opportunity to criticize her, cut her down, take her remarks out of context, say cruel things about her, etc.. According to Michelle, "the punches hurt", but she forged ahead with unstoppable drive.

In the latter part of the book, Michelle talks about being First Lady; what it's like to live in the White House; and how she tried to make sure her daughters had as normal a life as possible. Michelle had to attend an endless stream of functions, parties, and galas, and - to look fashionable and put together - hired a wardrobe stylist, hairdresser, and make-up artist. (This part of being First Lady, at least, sounds like fun.)


Michelle Obama became a fashion icon

Finally, Michelle mentions leaving the White House and resuming a 'normal life', which is still a work in progress.

I've tried to give a brief overview of Michelle's story, but you'll have to read the book to read her compelling personal anecdotes about family; friends; schools; teachers; bullies; piano lessons; her best friend dying from cancer; visits to Kenya; vacations in Hawaii; election night nerves; inaugural balls; the family dogs Bo and Sunny; Malia and Sasha; Joe and Jill Biden; Hillary Clinton; Queen Elizabeth; Lin-Manuel Miranda; Donald Trump; and much more.


Michelle and Barack Obama at the inaugural ball


Bo (right) and Sunny Obama


Michelle and Barack Obama with Malia and Sasha (when the girls were preteens)


Barack Obama with little Malia and Sasha on vacation


Jill and Joe Biden with the Obamas


Michelle Obama and Queen Elizabeth

The book is well-written and illuminating, a fine first memoir from a First Lady.



Rating: 5 stars