Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Review of "Watch the Wall, Miss Seeton: A Miss Seeton Mystery" by Hamilton Crane




In this 24th book in the 'Miss Seeton' series - set in 1970s England - the genteel, grey-haired 'detective' helps the police solve several crimes, including murder. The original author of this humorous mystery series was Heron Carvic, and after his death other writers carried on. This story was penned by Hamilton Crane.

The books can be read as standalones with no problem.

*****

Some gossipy women in the town of Plummergen look askance upon Miss Emily Seeton, an elderly art teacher who retired to their community.





For one thing, Miss Seeton (aka MissEss) is very cozy with Scotland Yard, which has her on retainer as a sketch artist. For another thing, Miss Seeton is likely to hobnob with 'suspicious characters' - like the handsome American tourist she politely invites for tea and cake.



If the Plummergen rumormongers knew the whole truth they would REALLY be goggle-eyed. The fact is that MissEss - unknown to herself - is a psychic whose 'foolish scribbles' (as she calls them) help the authorities identify wrongdoers and their crimes. And right now, Kent County - the coastal area that contains Plummergen - is being plagued by a crime wave that involves several police forces.



- Scotland Yard (with the help of Customs and Excise) is looking into the beheading of a poacher who may have stumbled onto a smuggling ring.



- Superintendent Brinton and Detective Constable Foxon of the Ashford Police Department are dealing with metal thefts. All manner of metallic objects have gone missing from Ashford, including fences, gates, drains, benches, rails, manhole covers, pipes, signposts, etc. A missing signpost has already resulted in a serious car crash, and the cops are anxious to catch the miscreants.



- Chief Inspector Harry Furneaux has to deal with metal theft AND a bank heist in Ecclesham. A gang of thieves hatched a scheme - involving the strategic blocking of streets - to rob an Ecclesham bank, make a quick getaway, and elude the authorities.



- Constable Ned Potter of Plummergen is concerned with the theft of ornamental scarecrows, being put up to attract tourists.



When concern about the spate of crimes reaches the breaking point, Scotland Yard's Detective Chief Superintendent Delphick and his assistant Detective Sergeant Bob Ranger visit MissEss to request some sketches, which the artist thinks are 'Identikit' drawings. The pictures turn out to be very telling.....though it takes some time to interpret them.



Miss Seeton does more than draw pretty pictures, however. She runs into a criminal herself - and being a sweet innocent lady - completely misinterprets his intentions. MissEss mistakes the thug for a birdwatcher, and their conversation - which is completely at cross purposes - is hilarious.



The story has a gaggle of entertaining characters, including:

- Mrs. Flax who doesn't believe that Plummergen's vermillion skies are caused by fierce Saharan winds. Mrs. Flax asserts: "Tent natural, such happenings....and from an evil cause all too clear to them with deep knowledge such as mine.....atom bombs!"



- Bram Smith - an American descendant of the historic English smuggler Abraham Voller, who escaped from a local prison and headed overseas.



- Superintendent Brinton, whose wife has prescribed a 'no sugar' diet that he desperately tries to circumvent.



- DC Foxon, who favors flamboyant clothes....like a rich brown jumbo-cord jacket or a blackberry-colored velvet jacket with lapels that reach almost to his shoulders.



- Catherine Earnshaw - a famous retired actress, recently arrived in Plummergen, whose good-looking 'chauffeur' raises eyebrows around the village.



- Martin Jessyp, the school principal, who organizes a children's concert to raise funds.....and ropes Miss Seeton in to do the scenery.



- Dulcie Rose - a toddler who's entranced with the 'Roller bird' that blew to Plummergen from Africa. Dulcie Rose likes Miss Seeton to draw 'pickshers' of the 'big blue birdie' for her.





Much of the fun of the book lies in the conversations among the characters, who reference all manner of British history, stories, myths, folktales, literature, people, poems, songs, and so on. I found some of this bewildering.....and sometimes even the characters don't seem to comprehend each other.....so it's all good.



I enjoyed this comical book and recommend it to readers who like zany mysteries, especially fans of Miss Seeton.

Thanks to Netgalley, the author (Hamilton Crane), and the publisher (Farrago) for a copy of the book.

Rating: 3.5 stars

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