Review of "Hollywood Park: A Memoir" by Mikel Jollett

Author Mikel Jollett

Mikel Jollett, frontman for the indie rock band Airborne Toxic Event, had a tumultuous childhood.


Airborne Toxic Event


Mikel Jollett performing

Jollett's parents were members of Synanon, a California cult that began as a drug rehab organization. Synanon was founded in 1958, and aspired to be a place "where people lived, all together, being honest and free and not taking drugs."


Synanon


Synanon started as a rehab facility for drug addicts

Synanon's mission was to change the world for the better, but it soon devolved into a dangerous, violent cult that separated families. By the time Mikel was born in 1974, six-month-old babies were taken from their parents and put in an orphanage-like 'school' where they were raised by strangers and rarely - or in some cases never - saw their parents.


In Synanon, children were separated from their parents

Mikel recalls, "We had Demonstrators who were like teachers, and classes and songs and I was lucky because I had a Bonnie. She would hug me every day and call me "Suuuuuun" and ask me what I want for a snack." Mikel also had friends - Cassidy, Guy, Dmitri, and Noah. Mikel even got to see his parents on rare occasions, and happily remembers his dad, Jim Jollett, riding up on a motorcycle and playing with him at the beach.


Mikel with his father Jim

Mikel's older brother Tony was especially isolated at Synanon. Mikel writes, "Tony used to sit alone at the edge of the playground all day. He didn't trust the adults and he didn't play with other kids that much. Maybe it's because someone did bad things to him.....The kids would get hit really hard or locked in a closet and there was no mom or dad to tell because they lived somewhere else and you couldn't even remember their faces."

When Mikel was five and Tony was seven, their mother Gerry staged a nighttime rescue and fled from the cult, a risky move that could result in beatings and even murder.



The Jolletts managed to escape, however, and Mikel and Tony finally got to meet their maternal Grandma and Grandpa in San Jose, as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins - an extended 'family' that bewildered Mikel, who couldn't imagine having relatives.

Mikel and Tony's father Jim left Synanon as well, but moved in with another woman.


Mikel with his father Jim


Mikel and Tony with their father Jim

Mikel's mom was angry and hurt by her husband's desertion, and longed for 'a man to take care of her.' Thus, when the family moved to Berkeley, a former cult member named Phil joined them. Phil was almost a father figure to the boys until two Synanon thugs caught up with him.

Mikel, who saw what happened, remembers, "The men have something like masks the color of skin that push their noses flat against their faces. Even in the masks you can tell they both have shaved heads, which means they're from Synanon."

The goons beat Phil to a pulp with "skinny black clubs", then asked a group of gawking children, "Do any of you know where Tony and Mikel are?" Luckily the kids didn't answer, and the Jollett family fled to Salem, Oregon, where Mikel's mom thought they'd be safe.


When Synanon became a cult, members had to shave their heads

Life in Oregon was hard. Gerry got involved with one man after another, all of them addicts of some kind. Thus, though the boyfriends might be kind - and even avuncular - to Tony and Mikel, they inevitably took off (or died) after a while. The family was also desperately poor. Mom worked as a counselor for ex-convict drug addicts, but money was scarce and the Jolletts wore thrift store clothes and raised rabbits for food.

For a long time the family ate rabbits most nights. Mikel notes, "Mom makes baked rabbit and lemon rabbit. She makes stir-fry rabbit with peppers and onions and 'rabbit surprise', which is leftover baked rabbit that has been cut up and put into a casserole dish." Mikel relates an amusing (but stomach-churning) story about Mom serving the same increasingly gluey rabbit stew four days in a row....until it was a grayish brown mass in the center of the pot. 😝


Baked rabbit


Rabbit stew

Besides being deprived of material things, Mikel and Tony got no emotional support from their mother, who suffered from depression and other psychological maladies. Gerry even seemed to inhabit an alternate reality. When Mikel told his mother "I'm scared of the [Synanon] men, Mom", she would say "No you're not. You're happy because you're with your mother now." When Mikel told his mother he was having nightmares about Phil's pummeling, she'd insist, "You're fine. You weren't even there." Then Gerry would lament, "This has been really hard on me."

Mom's denial of Mikel's feelings, and constant deflection to HER feelings, wasn't a one-off but went on for years. Mikel's concerns were dismissed and he was expected to take care of his mother. When Mom was sad or crying, Mikel would lean against her and say "It's okay, Mom. One day at a time" - and other phrases he picked up from AA and Alanon. The Jolletts attended numerous 12-step meetings and AA family campouts because 'addiction is a family problem.'


The Jolletts attended many AA meetings

Tony, who was more lonely and damaged than Mikel, had an even harder time than his brother. Tony was constantly angry, compulsively acted out, and bullied Mikel relentlessly. Eventually Tony, and then Mikel, moved to Los Angeles to live with their father, who was by then cohabiting with Bonnie - Mikel's affectionate caretaker from Synanon.

The boys would return to Oregon during summer breaks, and Mikel's visits with Mom were always difficult for him. Gerry would continuously lament her situation and make Mikel feel guilty for 'deserting his mother.'

Even though Dad was a former drug addict, a onetime criminal, and an ex-convict, he and Bonnie were the saviors that gave the boys a stable loving home. In addition, Bonnie's extended Jewish family treated the boys like beloved mishpucha. Nevertheless, as pre-teens and teens, Tony and Mikel constantly snuck out, drank, partied, used drugs, and got into trouble. Both boys also had problems sustaining relationships with girls because of their abandonment issues from childhood.

Despite misbehaving and skiving off school, Mikel was a gifted student who ran track, finished high school, and eventually graduated from Stanford University. Mikel had been obsessed with music since he was a youth, and took it up professionally as an adult - writing articles about concerts, interviewing rock stars, and finally becoming a singer/songwriter with his own band.

Everything Mikel did was made more difficult by the emotional and psychological damage he'd experienced as a child. Mikel exhaustively (maybe a bit too exhaustively) documents his constant disorientation; the ongoing difficulties with his mother; and the PTSD-like symptoms he experienced for decades.

Mikel discusses many things about himself and his life, including his round Dutch cheeks and large childhood overbite; his Dad teaching him to beat up a school bully; his Dad taking him to Hollywood Park to bet on the horse races; Tony's Goth phase and drug addiction; the illnesses and deaths of various family members; and much more. He also recalls happy times with friends, and the wonderful relatives that supported him unconditionally.


Mikel's brother Tony Jollett


Mikel with his father and brother

In the end, Mikel required extensive therapy to become a whole, healthy person, and it's gratifying to see that - with great effort - a seriously damaged child can become a successful adult.

The book tackles serious subjects, but does contain some humor. For instance, Mom talked so much about "Thatasshole Reagan" that Mikel was shocked to learn the presidential candidate's real name was Ronald. 😊


Ronald Reagan (aka "Thatasshole Reagan")

And Grandma Juliette (Bonnie's mom) didn't care if Mikel heard dirty jokes. He recalls, "If someone says, "Mom, where is the fuckin' ice? I've been looking all over for it", she puts her hands over my ears and says "Don't you ever say the word 'ice' in front of my grandson."

This is a well-written poignant memoir that's ultimately optimistic about healing, redemption, and love. Highly recommended.

Thank you to Celadon Books and Mikel Jollett for a copy of the book and the View Master with pictures.

Rating: 4 stars 

Author Mikel Jollett

Mikel Jollett, frontman for the indie rock band Airborne Toxic Event, had a tumultuous childhood.


Airborne Toxic Event


Mikel Jollett performing

Jollett's parents were members of Synanon, a California cult that began as a drug rehab organization. Synanon was founded in 1958, and aspired to be a place "where people lived, all together, being honest and free and not taking drugs."


Synanon


Synanon started as a rehab facility for drug addicts

Synanon's mission was to change the world for the better, but it soon devolved into a dangerous, violent cult that separated families. By the time Mikel was born in 1974, six-month-old babies were taken from their parents and put in an orphanage-like 'school' where they were raised by strangers and rarely - or in some cases never - saw their parents.


In Synanon, children were separated from their parents

Mikel recalls, "We had Demonstrators who were like teachers, and classes and songs and I was lucky because I had a Bonnie. She would hug me every day and call me "Suuuuuun" and ask me what I want for a snack." Mikel also had friends - Cassidy, Guy, Dmitri, and Noah. Mikel even got to see his parents on rare occasions, and happily remembers his dad, Jim Jollett, riding up on a motorcycle and playing with him at the beach.


Mikel with his father Jim

Mikel's older brother Tony was especially isolated at Synanon. Mikel writes, "Tony used to sit alone at the edge of the playground all day. He didn't trust the adults and he didn't play with other kids that much. Maybe it's because someone did bad things to him.....The kids would get hit really hard or locked in a closet and there was no mom or dad to tell because they lived somewhere else and you couldn't even remember their faces."

When Mikel was five and Tony was seven, their mother Gerry staged a nighttime rescue and fled from the cult, a risky move that could result in beatings and even murder.



The Jolletts managed to escape, however, and Mikel and Tony finally got to meet their maternal Grandma and Grandpa in San Jose, as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins - an extended 'family' that bewildered Mikel, who couldn't imagine having relatives.

Mikel and Tony's father left Synanon as well, but moved in with another woman.


Mikel with his father Jim


Mikel and Tony with their father Jim

Mikel's mom was angry and hurt by her husband's desertion, and longed for 'a man to take care of her.' Thus, when the family moved to Berkeley, a former cult member named Phil joined them. Phil was almost a father figure to the boys until two Synanon thugs caught up with him.

Mikel, who saw what happened, remembers, "The men have something like masks the color of skin that push their noses flat against their faces. Even in the masks you can tell they both have shaved heads, which means they're from Synanon."

The goons beat Phil to a pulp with "skinny black clubs", then asked a group of gawking children, "Do any of you know where Tony and Mikel are?" Luckily the kids didn't answer, and the Jollett family fled to Salem, Oregon, where Mikel's mom thought they'd be safe.


When Synanon became a cult, members had to shave their heads

Life in Oregon was hard. Gerry got involved with one man after another, all of them addicts of some kind. Thus, though the boyfriends might be kind - and even avuncular - to Tony and Mikel, they inevitably took off (or died) after a while. The family was also desperately poor. Mom worked as a counselor for ex-convict drug addicts, but money was scarce and the Jolletts wore thrift store clothes and raised rabbits for food.

For a long time the family ate rabbits most nights. Mikel notes, "Mom makes baked rabbit and lemon rabbit. She makes stir-fry rabbit with peppers and onions and 'rabbit surprise', which is leftover baked rabbit that has been cut up and put into a casserole dish." Mikel relates an amusing (but stomach-churning) story about Mom serving the same increasingly gluey rabbit stew four days in a row....until it was a grayish brown mass in the center of the pot. 😝


Baked rabbit


Rabbit stew

Besides being deprived of material things, Mikel and Tony got no emotional support from their mother, who suffered from depression and other psychological maladies. Gerry even seemed to inhabit an alternate reality. When Mikel told his mother "I'm scared of the [Synanon] men, Mom", she would say "No you're not. You're happy because you're with your mother now." When Mikel told his mother he was having nightmares about Phil's pummeling, she'd insist, "You're fine. You weren't even there." Then Gerry would lament, "This has been really hard on me."

Mom's denial of Mikel's feelings, and constant deflection to HER feelings, wasn't a one-off but went on for years. Mikel's concerns were dismissed and he was expected to take care of his mother. When Mom was sad or crying, Mikel would lean against her and say "It's okay, Mom. One day at a time" - and other phrases he picked up from AA and Alanon. The Jolletts attended numerous 12-step meetings and AA family campouts because 'addiction is a family problem.'


The Jolletts attended many AA meetings

Tony, who was more lonely and damaged than Mikel, had an even harder time than his brother. Tony was constantly angry, compulsively acted out, and bullied Mikel relentlessly. Eventually Tony, and then Mikel, moved to Los Angeles to live with their father, who was by then cohabiting with Bonnie - Mikel's affectionate caretaker from Synanon.

The boys would return to Oregon during summer breaks, and Mikel's visits with Mom were always difficult for him. Gerry would continuously lament her situation and make Mikel feel guilty for 'deserting his mother.'

Even though Dad was a former drug addict, a onetime criminal, and an ex-convict, he and Bonnie were the saviors that gave the boys a stable loving home. In addition, Bonnie's extended Jewish family treated the boys like beloved mishpucha. Nevertheless, as pre-teens and teens, Tony and Mikel constantly snuck out, drank, partied, used drugs, and got into trouble. Both boys also had problems sustaining relationships with girls because of their abandonment issues from childhood.

Despite misbehaving and skiving off school, Mikel was a gifted student who ran track, finished high school, and eventually graduated from Stanford University. Mikel had been obsessed with music since he was a youth, and took it up professionally as an adult - writing articles about concerts, interviewing rock stars, and finally becoming a singer/songwriter with his own band.

Everything Mikel did was made more difficult by the emotional and psychological damage he'd experienced as a child. Mikel exhaustively (maybe a bit too exhaustively) documents his constant disorientation; the ongoing difficulties with his mother; and the PTSD-like symptoms he experienced for decades.

Mikel discusses many things about himself and his life, including his round Dutch cheeks and large childhood overbite; his Dad teaching him to beat up a school bully; his Dad taking him to Hollywood Park to bet on the horse races; Tony's Goth phase and drug addiction; the illnesses and deaths of various family members; and much more. He also recalls happy times with friends, and the wonderful relatives that supported him unconditionally.


Mikel's brother Tony Jollett


Mikel with his father and brother

In the end, Mikel required extensive therapy to become a whole, healthy person, and it's gratifying to see that - with great effort - a seriously damaged child can become a successful adult.

The book tackles serious subjects, but does contain some humor. For instance, Mom talked so much about "Thatasshole Reagan" that Mikel was shocked to learn the presidential candidate's real name was Ronald. 😊


Ronald Reagan (aka "Thatasshole Reagan")

And Grandma Juliette (Bonnie's mom) didn't care if Mikel heard dirty jokes. He recalls, "If someone says, "Mom, where is the fuckin' ice? I've been looking all over for it", she puts her hands over my ears and says "Don't you ever say the word 'ice' in front of my grandson."

This is a well-written poignant memoir that's ultimately optimistic about healing, redemption, and love. Highly recommended.


Author Mikel Jollett

Mikel Jollett, frontman for the indie rock band Airborne Toxic Event, had a tumultuous childhood.


Airborne Toxic Event


Mikel Jollett performing

Jollett's parents were members of Synanon, a California cult that began as a drug rehab organization. Synanon was founded in 1958, and aspired to be a place "where people lived, all together, being honest and free and not taking drugs."


Synanon


Synanon started as a rehab facility for drug addicts

Synanon's mission was to change the world for the better, but it soon devolved into a dangerous, violent cult that separated families. By the time Mikel was born in 1974, six-month-old babies were taken from their parents and put in an orphanage-like 'school' where they were raised by strangers and rarely - or in some cases never - saw their parents.


In Synanon, children were separated from their parents

Mikel recalls, "We had Demonstrators who were like teachers, and classes and songs and I was lucky because I had a Bonnie. She would hug me every day and call me "Suuuuuun" and ask me what I want for a snack." Mikel also had friends - Cassidy, Guy, Dmitri, and Noah. Mikel even got to see his parents on rare occasions, and happily remembers his dad, Jim Jollett, riding up on a motorcycle and playing with him at the beach.


Mikel with his father Jim

Mikel's older brother Tony was especially isolated at Synanon. Mikel writes, "Tony used to sit alone at the edge of the playground all day. He didn't trust the adults and he didn't play with other kids that much. Maybe it's because someone did bad things to him.....The kids would get hit really hard or locked in a closet and there was no mom or dad to tell because they lived somewhere else and you couldn't even remember their faces."

When Mikel was five and Tony was seven, their mother Gerry staged a nighttime rescue and fled from the cult, a risky move that could result in beatings and even murder.



The Jolletts managed to escape, however, and Mikel and Tony finally got to meet their maternal Grandma and Grandpa in San Jose, as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins - an extended 'family' that bewildered Mikel, who couldn't imagine having relatives.

Mikel and Tony's father left Synanon as well, but moved in with another woman.


Mikel with his father Jim


Mikel and Tony with their father Jim

Mikel's mom was angry and hurt by her husband's desertion, and longed for 'a man to take care of her.' Thus, when the family moved to Berkeley, a former cult member named Phil joined them. Phil was almost a father figure to the boys until two Synanon thugs caught up with him.

Mikel, who saw what happened, remembers, "The men have something like masks the color of skin that push their noses flat against their faces. Even in the masks you can tell they both have shaved heads, which means they're from Synanon."

The goons beat Phil to a pulp with "skinny black clubs", then asked a group of gawking children, "Do any of you know where Tony and Mikel are?" Luckily the kids didn't answer, and the Jollett family fled to Salem, Oregon, where Mikel's mom thought they'd be safe.


When Synanon became a cult, members had to shave their heads

Life in Oregon was hard. Gerry got involved with one man after another, all of them addicts of some kind. Thus, though the boyfriends might be kind - and even avuncular - to Tony and Mikel, they inevitably took off (or died) after a while. The family was also desperately poor. Mom worked as a counselor for ex-convict drug addicts, but money was scarce and the Jolletts wore thrift store clothes and raised rabbits for food.

For a long time the family ate rabbits most nights. Mikel notes, "Mom makes baked rabbit and lemon rabbit. She makes stir-fry rabbit with peppers and onions and 'rabbit surprise', which is leftover baked rabbit that has been cut up and put into a casserole dish." Mikel relates an amusing (but stomach-churning) story about Mom serving the same increasingly gluey rabbit stew four days in a row....until it was a grayish brown mass in the center of the pot. 😝


Baked rabbit


Rabbit stew

Besides being deprived of material things, Mikel and Tony got no emotional support from their mother, who suffered from depression and other psychological maladies. Gerry even seemed to inhabit an alternate reality. When Mikel told his mother "I'm scared of the [Synanon] men, Mom", she would say "No you're not. You're happy because you're with your mother now." When Mikel told his mother he was having nightmares about Phil's pummeling, she'd insist, "You're fine. You weren't even there." Then Gerry would lament, "This has been really hard on me."

Mom's denial of Mikel's feelings, and constant deflection to HER feelings, wasn't a one-off but went on for years. Mikel's concerns were dismissed and he was expected to take care of his mother. When Mom was sad or crying, Mikel would lean against her and say "It's okay, Mom. One day at a time" - and other phrases he picked up from AA and Alanon. The Jolletts attended numerous 12-step meetings and AA family campouts because 'addiction is a family problem.'


The Jolletts attended many AA meetings

Tony, who was more lonely and damaged than Mikel, had an even harder time than his brother. Tony was constantly angry, compulsively acted out, and bullied Mikel relentlessly. Eventually Tony, and then Mikel, moved to Los Angeles to live with their father, who was by then cohabiting with Bonnie - Mikel's affectionate caretaker from Synanon.

The boys would return to Oregon during summer breaks, and Mikel's visits with Mom were always difficult for him. Gerry would continuously lament her situation and make Mikel feel guilty for 'deserting his mother.'

Even though Dad was a former drug addict, a onetime criminal, and an ex-convict, he and Bonnie were the saviors that gave the boys a stable loving home. In addition, Bonnie's extended Jewish family treated the boys like beloved mishpucha. Nevertheless, as pre-teens and teens, Tony and Mikel constantly snuck out, drank, partied, used drugs, and got into trouble. Both boys also had problems sustaining relationships with girls because of their abandonment issues from childhood.

Despite misbehaving and skiving off school, Mikel was a gifted student who ran track, finished high school, and eventually graduated from Stanford University. Mikel had been obsessed with music since he was a youth, and took it up professionally as an adult - writing articles about concerts, interviewing rock stars, and finally becoming a singer/songwriter with his own band.

Everything Mikel did was made more difficult by the emotional and psychological damage he'd experienced as a child. Mikel exhaustively (maybe a bit too exhaustively) documents his constant disorientation; the ongoing difficulties with his mother; and the PTSD-like symptoms he experienced for decades.

Mikel discusses many things about himself and his life, including his round Dutch cheeks and large childhood overbite; his Dad teaching him to beat up a school bully; his Dad taking him to Hollywood Park to bet on the horse races; Tony's Goth phase and drug addiction; the illnesses and deaths of various family members; and much more. He also recalls happy times with friends, and the wonderful relatives that supported him unconditionally.


Mikel's brother Tony Jollett


Mikel with his father and brother

In the end, Mikel required extensive therapy to become a whole, healthy person, and it's gratifying to see that - with great effort - a seriously damaged child can become a successful adult.

The book tackles serious subjects, but does contain some humor. For instance, Mom talked so much about "Thatasshole Reagan" that Mikel was shocked to learn the presidential candidate's real name was Ronald. 😊


Ronald Reagan (aka "Thatasshole Reagan")

And Grandma Juliette (Bonnie's mom) didn't care if Mikel heard dirty jokes. He recalls, "If someone says, "Mom, where is the fuckin' ice? I've been looking all over for it", she puts her hands over my ears and says "Don't you ever say the word 'ice' in front of my grandson."

This is a well-written poignant memoir that's ultimately optimistic about healing, redemption, and love. Highly recommended.