When Haven was born, her brother Dan was 13 and her sister Melinda was 10, so she really was the baby of the family. Haven barely survived a deadly staph infection when she was five weeks old, and didn't talk or grow hair until she was three. Haven was probably just saving her energy because her first utterances were complete sentences worthy of a ten-year-old.....or a lawyer (she bargained with her dad for her bottle).
As a toddler Haven was 'funny-looking', with a crooked head, big close set eyes, and patchy hair that stuck out in cowlicks all over her head. 👶
Asked to describe her school age self, Haven would probably say she was a tall, skinny nosybody who loved her family, loved animals, and loved to cause mischief.
Haven's brother and sister teased and tormented her - as older siblings do - and her affectionate parents guided her through a tumultuous childhood.
Haven's mother Delonda was a devout Quaker who took (a less than enthusiastic) Zippy to church every Sunday. Mom liked to sing at worship services, and would often testify - asserting her gratitude for everything, especially God's love. At home, Delonda liked to read, and had a cozy nest on the sofa, with a big box of novels from the Bookmobile. Delonda's favorite genre was science fiction, especially the books of Isaac Asimov. Haven asserts that, 'though mother almost never left the couch, she was a woman of many gifts.' Delonda knit, did ceramics, and sewed. Best of all (to a child), mom could make anything she was eating crunch - even raisins and applesauce cake.....crunch crunch crunch. (The author's mother did eventually get up off the couch to go to college and become a teacher.)
Haven's father Bill was a non-believer whose 'church' was the great outdoors. Bill was a great hunter and fisherman, and would eat the 'most obviously offensive foods' - like possum and wild mushrooms.
Haven's brother and sister teased and tormented her - as older siblings do - and her affectionate parents guided her through a tumultuous childhood.
Haven's mother Delonda was a devout Quaker who took (a less than enthusiastic) Zippy to church every Sunday. Mom liked to sing at worship services, and would often testify - asserting her gratitude for everything, especially God's love. At home, Delonda liked to read, and had a cozy nest on the sofa, with a big box of novels from the Bookmobile. Delonda's favorite genre was science fiction, especially the books of Isaac Asimov. Haven asserts that, 'though mother almost never left the couch, she was a woman of many gifts.' Delonda knit, did ceramics, and sewed. Best of all (to a child), mom could make anything she was eating crunch - even raisins and applesauce cake.....crunch crunch crunch. (The author's mother did eventually get up off the couch to go to college and become a teacher.)
Haven's father Bill was a non-believer whose 'church' was the great outdoors. Bill was a great hunter and fisherman, and would eat the 'most obviously offensive foods' - like possum and wild mushrooms.
When Bill took the family camping, he prepared meticulously and packed the vehicle with the greatest care: all medical, laundry, and culinary emergencies were covered - and if they took a detour, Bill had a map of that town too.
The family's dogs never misbehaved, their tires never went flat, and if the people camping nearby needed five gallons of gas, Bill would happen to have it. Bill was good at decoupage, antiquing (making things look old), and ceramics. In short, 'Dad was what it meant to be a father and a man in 1971.' Up against her father's power, Haven could see none of his failings -though she talks about his bad temper and penchant for gambling.
The book is full of anecdotes about young Zippy's life, most of them humorous, and a few serious - like stories about a neighbor boy who abused animals. I'll give examples of some of my favorite tales.
- When Zippy's dad asked what she wanted to be when she grew up, Zippy considered some possibilities, like ice skater, cowboy, teacher, and veterinarian. Not liking those options, Zippy said she wanted to be in the Mafia....like in the movies. So Zippy's dad had a framed certificate made up - in English and Italian - declaring that Zippy was an official member of the Mafia. After that, hardly anyone bothered the girl.....except for her sister.
- Zippy's family had two dogs, one the 'wonderful, legendary German Shepherd Kai' - the guardian of the family. When dad shut the lights at night, Kai went upstairs and checked on brother Dan in his bed and sister Melinda in her bed. The dog then went downstairs to check on Zippy's parents. Finally, Kai went to Zippy's baby bed, put his paws on the railing, and leaned his massive head down to look at the child. This probably triggered Zippy's first 'memory' - of being in bed with a wolf.
- When Zippy yearned for a pet chicken, her dad let her buy a young banty hen named Speckles. Speckles would sit on Zippy's shoulder and peck kisses on her face....and people decried the love between Zippy and Speckles. Then dad brought home a banty rooster called Chanticleer, and the horny fellow made Speckles' life a misery. On the very day Zippy decided to tell her dad that Chanticleer had to go, dogs broke into the chicken cage and killed the birds. Zippy was consumed by grief, and her mother and sister tried to be sympathetic. As for dad....he got out his gun and 'took care' of the dogs.
- When brother Dan was in high school he rode the school bus every morning. This was an injustice because sister Melinda, who was younger, rode to school with a friend. Moreover, Melinda would hog the bathroom, though Dan had to leave earlier. One day Melinda was in the bathroom, and Dan kept knocking and knocking and knocking - and Melinda kept saying 'I'll be out in a minute'..... in a voice that indicated she had no such intention.
Finally, Dan tore the door off its hinges, and Melinda was just sitting on the edge of the tub, fully dressed, coiffed, and made up. Dan slapped Melinda so hard she fell in the tub. Dan brushed his teeth, ran a comb through his hair, and left - all before Melinda could extricate herself from the tub. Melinda was furious that no one did anything, and after she left mom said, "I'd have slapped her too. Someone would have had to rip the door off the hinges, but then I'd have slapped her."
- Zippy was a reluctant church-goer and would always stall, hoping her mother would leave without her. Zippy's favorite excuses were "I can't find my other shoe" (whiich she'd pushed under the sofa) and "I can't find my little pink New Testament (which she'd hidden in her trash can). Zippy looked to her non-church-going dad for support, but he took a different tack. Dad found the little pink New Testament and told Zippy he'd always hang on to it between Sundays.....so she'd know where to find it.
- When Zippy's sister told her she was adopted, Zippy ran right in to her mother and indignantly asked, "How can you not tell me I'm adopted? Don't you think I have a right to know? And who were my real parents anyway?"
Mom: "Your parents were Gypsies honey. They were passing through Mooreland, led by a pack of wolves that preached. We went to see the preaching and saw you. We made a good trade. A green velvet bag for you. The bag had no bottom....there was no end to what it could hold."
Zippy: "Why would you trade such a great bag for me?"
Mom: "We saw you in one of the wagons, lying on a sheepskin rug - and we looked at you and fell in love. Plus you were born with a tail. We had it removed so your pants would fit....and we didn't want you to suffer in school." 🙄
Zippy believed this story for years, until she got older and realized that some of her features - like her eyes and nose and chin - were exactly like those of her parents.
- Zippy's best friends were Julie and Rose. Julie was almost always silent but Rose spoke her mind. Unlike most Mooreland kids, Rose didn't aspire to be a farmer or a rodeo star. Rose was going to be an artist. Haven explains, "Rose was left-handed and a Catholic - the only one anyone had ever seen in Mooreland.....so it made sense she wanted to be an artist."
- Zippy makes many references to her father's gambling.
Zippy believed this story for years, until she got older and realized that some of her features - like her eyes and nose and chin - were exactly like those of her parents.
- Zippy's best friends were Julie and Rose. Julie was almost always silent but Rose spoke her mind. Unlike most Mooreland kids, Rose didn't aspire to be a farmer or a rodeo star. Rose was going to be an artist. Haven explains, "Rose was left-handed and a Catholic - the only one anyone had ever seen in Mooreland.....so it made sense she wanted to be an artist."
- Zippy makes many references to her father's gambling.
The gambling group usually met in the basement of Mr. Burns cleaning store.....where Mr. Burns was found shot dead one day. In a story about her dad's gambling, Zippy makes the following observations.
A short list of things my father lost gambling:
My pony Tim - he was excellently small and nice. One day I came home from school and poof.
A small motorcycle. It appeared on the front porch one morning. No one learned to drive it.....then it was gone.
My mother's engagement and wedding rings.
A boat. Like the motorcycle it simply appeared.
My 25 dollar savings bond that I won at the fair. This was an unheard of amount of money at the time.
A wide variety of excellent hunting beagles.
A short list of things my father won gambling:
A wide variety of excellent hunting beagles.
A stuffed monkey which became my most beloved toy.
Guns - rifles, handguns, and muzzle loaders.
A strange friend named Burns (the cleaner) whose two daughters appeared to be stolen from their rightful owners.
Money - which was used to take the family out to restaurants and movies.
- Wanting attention during her sister Melinda's slumber party - to which she wasn't invited - Zippy put on records and sang at the top of her lungs.
Zippy then shamelessly eavesdropped under the window, and heard the girls holding a séance - the most wicked thing in the world! Later, after awakening with the cat tangled in her hair, Zippy saw Jesus hovering at the window. Everyone said Zippy was dreaming, but she's certain she was awake.
- A hippy couple moved to Mooreland and kept their German Shepherd tied up. Zippy couldn't abide to see the dog like that, so she offered to trade something for the hound. The hippies said they needed haircuts, and Zippy - who'd never cut hair before - went home, got her scissors, and trimmed their locks.
On Father's Day, Zippy went back, got the dog, and gave it to her father. Dad was so moved he got tears in his eyes, and he and 'Red' were inseparable for the next 14 years.
- When Zippy was in the fourth grade, Mr. Sewell was hired to be the after-school music teacher. Students interested in learning music were asked what instrument they'd like to play. Zippy said she wanted to play the drums and Mr. Sewell said girls don't play drums. (As a Mooreland citizen would say......pshaw!!)
Sewell: "How about the piccolo?"
Zippy: "How about drums?"
Sewell: "How about the French horn."
Zippy: "How about drums?"
Sewell: "Last chance. How about the xylophone or bells?"
Finally, Zippy agreed to play the bells, reasoning that Mr. Sewell would have a hard time hauling the heavy box of bells in and out of his station wagon for each lesson.
Once a week after school Mr. Sewell came to the 4th grade building to teach music. The bells, which were just hit with a mallet, were easy to master. Wind instruments, however, required more skill. Zippy's friend Rose showed promise with the flute, and Mr. Sewell offered to give her extra lessons after class - to work on scales. For her part, Zippy raced out of the building as soon as class ended.
A few weeks after lessons began Rose - a pretty girl who was so clean that she shone - confided to Zippy that she didn't want to do private sessions with Mr. Sewell anymore. Zippy asked, "Why? Is it boring and stupid and you'd rather be outside?" Rose said no, she was afraid. She'd told her mother, who thought Rose was just being silly.
Zippy didn't understand what Rose was talking about, but she became worried.
The next week, when Mr. Sewell dismissed the class after band practice, Zippy didn't move. Mr. Sewell repeatedly tried to get her to go, but Zippy made all kinds of excuses. Finally, Zippy said, "I'm supposed to always every day walk Rose home from school or else. We walk to school together and home together, and if we don't our parents do bad bad things to us." Mr. Sewell, with feigned patience, noted that it didn't seem to stop them for the last month. "Well I can't take any more punishments," Zippy said. "I have to wait for Rose." Mr. Sewell didn't say anything more and went on with the lesson.
- Thinking back, Zippy notes that Mooreland was 'behind the times'.....or more correctly 'confused about the times.' People called Delonda a communist because she read the 'Atlantic Monthly' - which no one had ever heard of before. And the postman refused to allow residents to subscribe to magazines. They had to go the drugstore and buy them in front of people. In this way, the mailman eliminated the possibility of objectionable literature entering the town limits.
The author tells many other memorable stories, including anecdotes about: Edythe - the old lady across the way who only bathed twice a year and hated Zippy; the schoolteacher Mrs. Holiday - a mean incompetent woman who taught almost nothing; Zippy's friend Maggie - who longed to be a deejay, and practiced all day long; Zippy's wig (really a fall) that her father won when she was eight-years-old; Zippy's attempt to deliver two trays to (a now married) Melinda, while riding her bike with no hands....an adventure that ended in the emergency room; Zippy's many convoluted attempts to winkle out a secret about her classmate....which turned out to be tragic; and many more. In addition, the stories are told from a youngster's point of view, in the authentic voice of a child....which adds to the charm.
I imagine Mooreland is a much different place now, but it was great to read these wonderful stories about an earlier time. I highly recommend this book.🙂💚💖
Rating: 4.5 stars
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