Review of "Autopsy of a Boring Wife: A Novel" by Marie-Renée Lavoie

Trigger alert: This novel is about a woman whose husband left her for another woman after a long marriage.

*****

The story: Diane Delaunais thought she and her husband Jacques - married for 25 years with three grown children - would happily stay together until death did them part.



So Diane was shocked when Jacques announced "I'm leaving. I'm in love with someone else" and promptly left their Cape Cod style house near Quebec City.



Diane observes, "It wasn't me he killed with those murderous words, but all the notions of myself I'd constructed through his eyes, through the sacred union that completed and defined me. A union to which I'd surrendered myself entirely....I came undone. With just a few words, I lost my bearings."



Diane (wrongly) accepts that she's an out-of-shape boring woman, and blames herself - rather than still handsome Jacques - for the ravaged marriage. 😏

Diane deals with the loss in her own unique style, which is both poignant and funny. For example:

⦿ Diane uses social media to sabotage Jacques' proposal to go ahead with their long-planned 25th anniversary party, which he still wants to have (what the hell is he thinking?);



⦿ Diane hibernates on the couch for days, until it's more like a pig sty than a piece of furniture;



⦿ Diane takes an axe to the couch, marital bed, and furniture....and throws them out in the yard;



⦿ Diane sells her wedding rings and uses the proceeds for VERY expensive blue Italian boots;



⦿ Diane embarks on an innocent flirtation with a married co-worker;



⦿ When Jacques' girlfriend Charlene asks to come over for a talk, Diane removes ALL the toilet paper, towels, wash cloths, bathmats, etc. from the bathroom....in case Charlene has to go. Then Diane douses Charlene with a pitcher of water.



⦿ Diane deals with her interfering mother-in-law by (falsely) saying Jacques wanted her to dress like a man for sex;



⦿ When Diane's lawn-proud neighbor goes overboard caring for his yard, Diane savages his VERY NOISY leaf-blower;



⦿ Diane throws coffee on a gossipy co-worker;



⦿ Diane does something new with her hair;


….and so on.

Luckily Diane has the support of her three children and her best friend Claudine, whose husband ALSO left her for a younger woman. Diane and Claudine drink wine, lament their situations, dance, and - at one point - end up in the hospital emergency room.

In one of my favorite scenes, Diane's daughter Charlotte, who's studying to be a veterinarian, brings a rescue cat to her mom's dinner party. Charlotte "tells the story of the cat hit by a car and taken for dead, but that by some miracle it managed to come back to life inside the garbage bag it had been tossed into. The cat tore the bag open and ran back to its owners, giving them the fright of their lives. They'd seen Stephen King's 'Pet Cemetary' and thought the cat some kind of zombie out to kill them." LOL



The cat, called Steve, now has three legs, and Charlotte cleverly maneuvers to 'temporarily' leave him with Diane. You can probably guess what happens next.



It takes Diane a long time to come to terms with her new situation, and many women (and men) can probably relate. But in the end, this is a hopeful book that suggests life can go on after a tragedy.

Caveat: Diane is a middle-class woman with a good job, grown kids, and money in the bank. In this respect she differs from destitute women with small children whose ex-husbands leave them struggling financially.

I'd recommend the book to anyone who likes an entertaining story (if it won't trigger anxieties). 

Rating: 3.5 stars