Review of "Inside Out: A Memoir" by Demi Moore

Demi Moore - born Demetria Guynes in Roswell, New Mexico in 1962 - is an American actress and film producer. Demi had an unruly upbringing with her nomadic parents, Ginny and Danny Guynes, who were always dodging trouble and bill collectors.

Demi Moore's parents,  Ginny and Danny Guynes

Little Demi Moore with her father Danny Guynes 

 Little Demi Moore with her stuffed monkey




Demi writes, "My dad was driven to succeed. He worked hard and he played hard. Sometimes too hard." Danny drank, got into fights, and scammed and conned people. Demi recalls, "Both of my parents had what you might call a relaxed relationship with the truth but I think my dad actually got joy out of feeling he could get one over on someone."

Demi's brother Morgan was born when she almost five, after which the Guynes' left New Mexico. Demi observes, "Soon after [Morgan] was born we left Roswell for California, the first of a series of moves that would define our childhood. My mother figured out that my dad was having an affair, so she did what she'd been taught to do by HER mother when your husband is fooling around. She got him away from the problem. It did not seem to occur to the women in my family that if you took your cheating husband along when you left the problem came with you wherever you went."

This happened again and again, propelling the family from place to place. Throughout their childhood, Demi and Morgan attended at least two new schools a year, and it was often more than that. When the family periodically returned to Roswell, "It felt like coming home."

 Young Demi Moore and her brother Morgan Guynes

Demi Moore and her brother Morgan Guynes



Ginny and Danny were continually getting drunk, having affairs, breaking up, and getting back together. All this confused and disturbed the children. Demi remembers the constant fighting, screaming phone calls, and her mother stalking around the house sobbing histrionically. She says, "I felt they were equally to blame for the chaos in our lives." Eventually, Ginny and Danny divorced, but still got together frequently, unable to make a permanent break.

All this was too much for Ginny, who - when the family lived in Pennsylvania - tried to kill herself. Demi writes, "I remember using my fingers, the small fingers of a child, to dig the pills my mother had tried to swallow out of her mouth while my father held it open and told me what to do." This turned out to be the first of Ginny's many suicide attempts, and Demi remained constantly on the watch, feeling she had to 'help her parents clean up their messes.'

 School age Demi Moore




Living with unreliable parents made Demi a snoop, which led to the discovery that Danny wasn't her biological father. Demi's biological father was Charlie Harmon, Ginny's first husband.

Demi Moore's biological father Charlie Harmon




Danny wanted to keep it secret because he thought Demi wouldn't feel the same way about him. However once the truth came out, it was Danny who withdrew from Demi, spelling the end of their close relationship.

Luckily, Demi had relatives in California who were almost surrogate parents. When the Guynes' lived in Redondo Beach, her Aunt Deanna and Uncle George (Danny's brother) were a "huge comfort."  Demi recalls, "They gave us rides when we needed them, fed us, listened to us when we had problems."

Though Demi's parents let her down time and again, she kept hoping her mother would change and become someone she could count on. It never happened. When Demi was 15, her mother would take her to bars, and Demi felt like she was bait for men, as well as Ginny's designated driver - though Demi had no driver's license. Demi observes "[Ginny's] self-absorption and suicide attempts came at my expense." As a result Demi made up her mind to NOT be like her mother.
 

 Demi Moore's mother, Ginny Guynes




 While Demi was still a young teenager, however, she was driven to self-destructive behavior, like partying, hanging out with older boys, and giving in to their sexual demands. Thus Demi succumbed when her mother pimped her out to a middle-aged restaurateur named Val Doumas. Val was waiting inside the apartment when 15-year-old Demi got home from school - having received a key from Ginny - and just took it for granted the teenager would have sex with him.

 Adolescent Demi Moore




Demi felt soiled by the episode, and even worse when Doumas later asked, "How does it feel to be whored by your mother for five hundred dollars?" Demi, who later became the mother of three girls, laments "That's NOT what a mother does."

It took a long time for Demi to realize she'd been raped. She says, "For decades, I didn’t even think of it as rape. I thought of it as something I caused, something I felt obligated to do because this man expected it from me. I had let him expect it from me. I was an easy mark for a predator." In Demi's view, the assault contributed to her subsequent substance abuse and anxiety problems.

The family's frequent moving and adjusting to new environments - as the Guynes' pinged around New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Ohio, California, and Washington - had a profound effect on Demi. She writes, "It's possible that all the adapting I had to do primed me to become an actress. It was my job to portray whatever character I thought would be most popular in every new school, in every new town."

Adolescent Demi became interested in acting when she met 17-year-old actress Nastassja Kinski at an apartment complex in California. 

 Actress Nastassja Kinski




German-born Nastassja had trouble with written English, and Demi helped her read her scripts. Demi admired Nastassja's beauty, talent and success, and thought of her as a role model.

By the age of 16 - when Demi was in an alternative high school and taking acting classes - she couldn't put up with her mother any longer.

 High School age Demi Moore





Demi moved out of the California apartment she shared with Ginny and moved in with a 28-year-old acting student named Tom Dunston. Soon afterwards, Demi left Dunston for 29-year-old musician Freddy Moore, a guitarist for the band 'The Kats.'

Demi Moore and musician Freddy Moore

To make a financial contribution to the household, 17-year-old Demi agreed to pose for nude photos to be sold to magazines in Japan. Demi writes, "Fortunately, the photographer turned out to be very professional, even as he was encouraging me to strike all sorts of provocative poses. I was comforted when he told me about a Japanese law prohibiting photos showing pubic hair. I could tell myself I was only posing seminude, which seemed much better than the alternative." In any case the nude photos were Demi's ticket into fashion modeling, which provided a small income while she pursued acting.

 









 Demi Moore became a fashion model





















When Demi was almost 18, her father Danny - who was an alcoholic with liver failure - committed suicide at the age of 36. Demi notes, "His blood alcohol level was so high that his death had to be ruled an accident. He was too drunk for the insurance company to label it a suicide. Consequently they were obliged to make a small payout, which dad left to Morgan. I guarantee you my dad had done his research and knew precisely how much he had to drink to make that happen. It was his final scam, one for the road." 

A few months later Demi married Freddy Moore in a little Spanish church in Los Angeles, with Aunt Deanna and Uncle George in attendance. That's when the actress became Demi Moore.

Demi married Freddy Moore




Demi's career started to pick up, with fashion modeling, a commercial, and a part in the soap opera General Hospital.

Demi Moore on General Hospital (with Anthony Geary)



But things weren't all rosy. Demi recalls, "On the surface I was hitting all my marks, but my internal compass sought outlets for my self doubt. I started drinking." This was the beginning of Demi's on-off drinking and drug use, which went on for many years.

In Demi's personal life, she was sabotaging her marriage to Freddy by cheating and indifference. At the age of 20, when Demi was in Brazil filming the movie Blame it on Rio, she partied non-stop, slept with her male roommate, and started using cocaine. Demi and Freddy's marriage ended when she got back to California.

In the next few years Demi made a series of films, including No Small Affair, St. Elmo's Fire, One Crazy Summer, About Last Night, We're No Angels, Ghost, The Butcher's Wife, A Few Good Men, Indecent Proposal, Striptease, and G.I. Jane. Demi talks a bit about each movie, discussing things like the plot; her role; preparing to play the role; her co-stars; the director; how the film did at the box office; the reviews; audience reception; etc. Demi also talks about what was going on in her private life.

While filming St. Elmo's Fire, Demi was sent to rehab to kick alcohol and cocaine. But these addictions were replaced by body image issues, an eating disorder, and a compulsion to exercise. Demi says, "I was torn into a tailspin of terror and self-loathing. All my anxieties just shifted over to food. I used food as a kind of punishment for everything I thought was wrong and dirty about myself." 

In her love life, Demi had sex with Jon Cryer, a one-night stand with Rob Lowe, and got engaged to Emilio Estevez before she met and married Bruce Willis, who was already a huge star.

Actor Jon Cryer

Actor Rob Lowe

Actor Emilio Estevez

 Actor Bruce Willis

Demi Moore and Bruce Willis got  married



Demi found some peace with Willis, and they soon had a baby daughter named Rumer and a home in Haley, Idaho.

Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, and their baby daughter Rumer



Demi says "[Haley] became my oasis. The place where I felt more at home than I ever have anywhere else. I still do. There's something about being surrounded by the Sawtooth Mountains, where the air is clear and cool and there's almost no noise at all, that soothes me and gives me a sense of peace."

During her second pregnancy, big-bellied Demi posed for a nude cover photo for Vanity Fair magazine - a picture she thought was artistic and beautiful.

Pregnant Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair





The photo was roundly excoriated, however, and the scathing article that went with it made things even worse. Demi writes, "I was portrayed as selfish, egotistical, and pampered, and that being Mrs. Bruce Willis had gone to my head, swelling it unmercifully." There were assertions that Demi was catered to on the set of The Butcher's Wife (where the interview occurred) and that she was a prima donna surrounded by sycophants. Demi reports, "The article had a subtle negative impact on my career."

Demi's success worsened her relationship with her mother. Ginny started selling stories and pictures of Demi to the tabloids, and - after Demi's nude photo shoot - Ginny started posing for nude photos herself "in a desperate bid for attention."

Ginny Moore posed for racy
photos 




Demi notes, "Ginny's behavior with the tabloids was what put me over the edge. I think it 's because I saw the potential this particular brand of lunacy had to hurt my kids." Demi broke off all contact with her mother after her second daughter Scout was born, and didn't speak to Ginny again for eight years.

Demi's soaring career also had a negative impact on her relationship with Bruce, who started to get agitated about her working away from him.
 

Demi Moore and Bruce Willis both had successful careers



Bruce's attitude gave Demi 'insight into his assumptions about gender roles and work.' Nevertheless, the couple strategized to make their careers and marriage succeed.

At one point, Demi was paid 12 million dollars for the movie Striptease, which made her the highest paid actress in Hollywood. This still wasn't close to Bruce's remuneration of 20 million dollars for a film, which is typical of the double standard regarding men's and women's salaries. Still, jealous critics dubbed Demi "Gimme Moore" while remaining shtum about Bruce's payday. (This is infuriating to me!!)

Demi and Bruce went on to have a third daughter, Tallulah, but their relationship was suffering. Demi notes "We were disconnected from each other emotionally. Our life was all about logistics surrounding the kids, and while Bruce was always proud of me doing well I don't know that he was always comfortable with the attention that came with it."

After Demi made GI Jane, she learned that her mother was dying from lung cancer and a brain tumor. Demi went to stay with her mom in Farmington, New Mexico, and came to 'an understanding' with Ginny before she died.
 

Demi Moore with her mother Ginny Guynes





During this time, Bruce and Demi ended their union, though they continued to co-parent successfully. To provide a stable home for her girls, Demi decided to put her career on hold and become a full-time mom. Demi settled into her home in Idaho, took care of her daughters, and pledged not to use alcohol, drugs, or food to get through her divorce.

 Demi Moore and her young daughters

Demi Moore and Bruce Willis successfully co-parented their growing daughters






In 2003, Demi revived her career by making Charlie's Angels Full Throttle.

While Demi was in New York doing advanced press for the movie she met Ashton Kutcher, and it was kismet!! Demi and Ashton had an instant connection, though she was 15 years older than him. (People made a big deal out of this, but had nothing to say about Bruce Willis marrying a woman 25 years younger than himself. The hypocrisy is stunning!!)

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

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Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher got married






Demi writes a good deal about her relationship with Ashton: the early euphoria; their decision to wed; a miscarriage when Demi was almost six months pregnant; their attempts to conceive again, including fertility treatments and IVF; incorporating threesomes into their sex life; and their eventual divorce.

During her relationship with Ashton, Demi fell off the wagon after years of sobriety. She writes, "Unlike what people imagine about addicts, that you have one drink and everything comes crashing down, in my case it was a gradual downward spiral. The decline in my sense of competence mirrored by substance abuse." When Demi got dead drunk at her 45th birthday party, and started passing out in a hot tub, Ashton was furious.

Things only got worse when Demi started using Vicodin, and the actress made up her mind to detox all by herself. She remembers, "It's one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. Going off opiates is agony. It's unimaginably excruciating. You can't sleep because your body hurts too much. It's like the worst flu you ever had times a hundred."

Ashton wasn't compassionate, got busy with other things, and became less and less present. Eventually Ashton cheated - twice - and the couple's marriage ended.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher got divorced

Around this time, Demi's use of alcohol and recreational drugs increased, leading to an estrangement from her children. Demi writes, "The girls were angry I'd become so dependent on Ashton. I was addicted to him is the best way I can put it, and I did all the things that addicts do. I prioritized by addiction over my needs and the needs of my family."

It took years for Demi and her girls to reconcile.

Demi is philosophical about her failed relationships, and doesn't badmouth any of the men she dated or married. To recover from her third divorce, Demi worked with a therapist and went to rehab. In time, she became stronger and came to understand what went wrong. She observes, "I took care of everyone but myself. I had to figure out what I needed and wanted."

After Demi and her daughters healed their rift, they had a wonderful Christmas in Idaho, complete with everyone's cats and dogs - and matching pajamas Demi bought as gifts. Now, at the age of 56, Demi is stronger than ever, and poised for the next phase of her life.

Demi Moore with her daughters Rumer, Tallulah, and Scout (left to right)


 

Read the book for more personal stories, celebrity chitchat, and interesting insights.😎

Rating: 4 stars