"Stay With Me", Ayobami Adebayo's debut novel, was shortlisted for the 'Women's Prize for Fiction' - one of Britain's most prestigious literary awards. The honor is well-deserved.
*****
All cultures expect the younger generation to have children, a biological imperative to ensure that the group doesn't die out. In some societies the 'elders' just pester their kids.....I wanna be a grandma already! In other groups, the pressure to reproduce is intense and relentless, and childless couples are berated and shamed. That's the case for the protagonists in this story - Akin Ajayi and his wife Yejide - a Yoruba couple in Nigeria.
Akin and Yejide are well-educated, middle-class residents of Ilesa, a city in the southwest part of the country. Akin is an accountant and Yejide owns a beauty salon, and the couple have a nice home and a close, loving relationship. The Yoruba people are polygamous, but Yejide is Akin's only wife - a pre-condition for her agreeing to marry him.
Unfortunately the Ajayis are childless after four years of marriage, and their relatives - especially Yejide's mother-in-law - are constantly begging and manipulating Akin to take another wife.....one who will produce kids. Yejide is 'blamed' for the couple's barrenness, though she's been to doctors who said she was fine. Akin also reports that physicians found him sound. Under scrutiny from her entire community, Yejide has tried everything to conceive: prayers, herbs, physicians, rituals, pilgrimages, and so on - to no avail.
Fertility Ritual
One day Akin's mother shows up at her oldest son's home with a pretty young woman named Funmi, and introduces her to Yejide as Akin's second wife. It seems that Akin married Funmi in secret, after years of harassment by his mother. Yejide is shocked. (What a rotter that Akin is!)
Feeling devastated, Yejide decides she MUST get pregnant to preserve her place in the family. As a last resort, Yejide hauls a goat up the 'Mountain of Jaw-Dropping Miracles' where 'Prophet Josiah' leads her through an exotic ritual that includes suckling the goat. Yejide is convinced a miracle HAS occurred and that she's now pregnant.
Akin doubts his wife, but Yejide proceeds to take antenatal classes and to prepare a room for the baby. Sonograms at various doctors' offices show no baby, but Yejide insists they're all mistaken. Long story short.....no baby is born.
Through all this, Funmi - who's been installed in her own apartment - is trying to insinuate herself into the Ajayi home, so she can assume the role of a 'true wife.' This, of course, just exacerbates Yejide's frustration and anger.
For his part, Akin wants Yejide to be happy, and would do almost anything to ensure her fulfillment. This leads to the subsequent events in the novel - some happy, some sad, some tragic.
The story is narrated by Akin and Yejide in alternating sections, and we hear how they met, fell in love at first sight, and wed soon afterwards. We also learn that Yejide's mother died giving birth to her, and that her father's other wives were dismissive, cold, insulting, and hurtful. Thus, young Yejide grew up lonely and isolated, and she desperately wants a 'real family' now. Perhaps because of this, Yejide shuts her eyes to obvious deceptions and lies. Yejide's level of denial (and naiveté ?) seems COMPLETELY unbelievable (to me), but may be related to her yearning for a child and her cultural roots.
The story spans several decades, from the 1980s through 2008, during which Nigeria was undergoing repeated political upheavals and changes. For the most part, the characters seem to take this in stride.....just another day in the home country. At one point, however, a violent incident has an indirect (but profound) effect on the Ajayis lives.
Other important characters in the novel include: Dotun - Akin's younger brother, a married philanderer who loves and respects his sibling; and Iya Bolu - a fellow salon owner who becomes Yejide's best friend.
There are also appearances by Yejide's father and father-in-law; several stepmothers; and even a bunch of robbers - who send notices of their upcoming burglaries (can you believe this??).
In the course of the story, the author provides peeks at the Yoruba culture, including their culinary tastes (pounded yams are a favorite);
Pounded yams
celebrations (newborns garner joyous naming ceremonies);
Baby naming ceremony
funerals (elaborate and expensive); and other traditions - including some folktales. This is fascinating and enlightening.
Funeral
I very much liked this well-written and engaging book. For me, Yejide is an admirable character, strong-willed and resilient. As for Akin... I didn't like him much, but I do understand the cultural and familial pressures put on him. Stories centered around paternalistic cultures - which have dismissive and condescending attitudes to women - always raise my blood pressure. But I know the world isn't going to change just because I want it to. LOL
I'd highly recommend "Stay With Me" to fans of literary novels.
Rating: 4 stars
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