Jon Stewart, the primary editor of this book, is an American comedian, writer, director, producer, actor, and political commentator. He was host of 'The Daily Show' from 1999 to 2015.
Jon Stewart
I listened to the audiobook version of this narrative, which is a tongue-in-cheek guide for aliens that visit the Earth after humans are extinct.
The book is written by Jon Stewart, Rory Albanese, Kevin Bleyer, Rich Bloomquist, Steve Bodow, Tim Carvell, Wyatt Cenac, and Hallie Haglund. The audio version is narrated by Jon Stewart, Sigourney Weaver, Samantha Bee, Wyatt Cenac, Jason Jones, and John Oliver.
***
The narrative briefly covers the planet Earth, the Solar System, and everything related to humankind, including: our life cycle, society, commerce, religion, science, and culture. The chapters are uneven, with laugh-out-loud sections and dry sections, but the book is worth reading for the novelty if nothing else.
The premise is that humans have 'sucked the Earth dry' and caused their own extinction. People who saw this coming had the option of sending their DNA (via a plucked hair) to one of two collection facilities: the Svalbard Global Seed Vault in Norway (which preserves agricultural seeds) or Trementina Base in New Mexico (which preserves Scientology writings and films).
Svalbard Global Seed Vault
Trementina Base
The stored DNA would provide a chance of being resurrected by the aliens, if and when they arrive.
>I'll give examples of some observations in the book, to give a feel for the content and humor.
***
As an introduction, the authors describe the geology, geography, and history of the planet.....and the shift from thinking we're the center of the solar system - geocentrism ('egocentrism') to accepting that we orbit the sun - heliocentrism. The book then goes on to describe the planets, throwing a bit of shade on realtors by calling Mercury "solar adjacent."
***
If the Earth's history is squeezed into 24 hours, man has been present for the last minute. Thus at 11:59 PM, "In strolls the most incredible creature anyone's ever seen....moves in, redecorates the joint, and eats half the guests before the ball drops."
*****
"College is where our brightest 18 to 21-year-olds are hotbeds of experimentation - educational, chemical, sexual, and most annoyingly political. After four years of living in this fake world you were considered prepared to live in the real one. This experience would cost your parents or you $200,000 unless you were good at throwing an orange ball into a round hoop, in which case it was free."
****
We were social creatures who functioned best living in groups, called a society. Nomadic tribes were "ones step up from a single family, bound by bloodlines or a shared appreciation for Jerry Garcia."
***
“Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot."
***
"The mechanism by which people ruled was called an election. This was a series of discrete events encompassing nominations, rallies, and backroom deals that completely dominated the news of the day.....
.....unless someone famous got married, divorced or died."
***
"There was no commercial principal more elementary than that it was good to sell a thing for more money than you bought it for. Doing so produced a profit that meant you were incredibly smart. Failure to do so produced a loss which meant your broker was an idiot."
***
Description of work: "That which we didn't want to do but had to if we didn't want to eat dirt."
***
Explanation of religion: "Awareness led us to the realization that we die. The fear of death and the terrible uncertainty of existence led early man to seek comfort or at least assurance in the supernatural who created us: How does the sun travel through the sky? Why does it burn when I urinate?" ("Because you have dick anthrax!")
***
"Scientists were the most esteemed members of civilization. The only people more renowned than scientists were actors, musicians, athletes, politicians, game show hosts, heiresses, religious leaders, cartoonists, plumbers, serial killers, celebrity chefs, and women who looked good in swimsuits."
***
"Throughout the remains of the developed world you'll find facilities filled with what appear to be torture devices. These were gyms."
***
The book is interspersed with FAQs (Future Alien Questions) such as:
Why are there so many buildings that say Trump?
Was it better to be a man or a woman?
Did humans ever discover the wormholes that make interstellar travel quick and easy? (SAY WHAT?)
***
I expected the book to be clever and entertaining, and it was. But only mildly. Still, the audiobook is a pleasant way to wile away a few hours while driving, running errands, doing the laundry, etc.
Rating: 3 stars
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