Review of "Famesick: A Memoir" by Lena Dunham

  

Lena Dunham (b. 1986) is an award-winning American writer, director, actress, and producer. Dunham is perhaps best known for being the creator, writer, and star of the HBO television series Girls (2012–2017), which follows the lives of four educated young women who are finding themselves.


Lena Dunham

I read Dunham's memoir 'Not That Kind of Girl' (2014), about her childhood and young adult years. I ended my review with the comment, "I imagine Dunham will have plenty more to say about her life in the future, which might be interesting to read about. I'll be looking out for another memoir."

Well, Famesick is Dunham's new memoir.


If you want to know the bare minimum about 'Famesick', this review will contain spoilers, so I'll include a spoiler alert.

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT

*****

Lena Dunham had anxiety problems starting in childhood, despite having loving and attentive parents, the professional artists Laurie Simmons and Carroll Dunham.


Lena Dunham with her parents, Laurie Simmons and Carroll Dunham

Lena's disquiet increased in adulthood, accompanied by a wide array of physical symptoms. In part, that's the subject of this book. In her introduction, Dunham notes, "I've spent much of the last ten years sick. Sometimes in a hospital bed, more often in my own bed, most often at work or out to dinner, pretending not to feel how I feel. It's very hard to remember a time...when being in my body didn't feel like towing a wrecked car across town at midnight."

Dunham grew up in New York City and was a creative youngster who liked drawing and writing.


Young Lena Dunham

Lena started to make short films while attending artsy Oberlin College, and on visits home, she'd hang out with up-and-coming filmmakers like Josh and Benny Safdie. Dunham writes, "All I wanted was to be around people who were making movies, or writing about movies on their Blogspots, like the one I kept where I reviewed Cassavetes films for no one."

After graduating from Oberlin, Dunham babysat, took odd jobs, and rented a tiny studio/office in Manhattan while still living with her parents. Dunham's breakthrough came with her short movie, 'Tiny Furniture' (2010), about a college graduate who returns home and tries to figure out what to do with her life. The film won the Grand Jury Prize at South by Southwest, and the calls started coming in.



With the help of her mother Laurie, Dunham got an agent and headed for Los Angeles. Meetings with people at HBO resulted in a job offer, a partnership with writer/producer Jenni Konner, and the series 'Girls' - with comedy guru Judd Apatow as executive producer.


From left to right: Jenni Konner, Lena Dunham, and Judd Apatow

Dunham was a writer, director, and actor on Girls, about four twentysomething women in New York City.


From left to right: Zosia Mamet, Allison Williams, Lena Dunham, and Jemima Kirke

Dunham writes a great deal about the show, including the cast; the nudity and sex scenes; the rapid success; the nasty social media backlash; misunderstandings on the set; her falling out with actor Adam Driver; and more.


Lena Dunham and Adam Driver

Girls ran for six seasons and garnered numerous accolades and awards. The show's success made Dunham a celebrity, and - in addition to promoting Girls - Lena became a guest on late night television programs; attended big and small award shows; was invited to the Met Gala; did a Vogue cover shoot; hosted Saturday Night Live; and so on.


Lena Dunham's Vogue photo shoot (with Adam Driver)


Lena Dunham hosting Saturday Night Live

As a showrunner and actress, Dunham was surrounded by staff who reminded her to eat, sleep, and breathe; peeled her bananas; fixed her hair; organized her schedule; and so on. This led to a kind of learned helplessness that didn't stand Dunham in good stead later on.

Dunham was happy with the success of Girls, but she suffered behind the scenes. Shortly before shooting began on the pilot, Lena was diagnosed with acute colitis. While scouting the Carlyle Hotel for a shoot, Dunham had to get to a toilet every ten minutes, where she'd cling to the walls, gasp, clean herself up, then throw icy water on her face. Dunham writes, "Looking back, this was...the first time I chose to ignore my body's noisy signals in favor of this thing I wanted so badly."

Even before filming began on season one of Girls, sleep problems led Lena to take Klonopin pills, previously prescribed for anxiety. This was the beginning of Dunham's slide into drug dependence. Lena was also constantly gaining and losing weight, due to health struggles and her characterization on the show Girls.

After the first season of Girls wrapped, Dunham was set up with musician Jack Antonoff, and she went on her first real date. Before meeting Jack, Dunham would hook up with random men for sex, often unsuitable and/or abusive men. Lena describes these encounters in too much detail, particularly with a man she calls Cleft Lip, and she reveals intimate particulars no one needs to know.


Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff

Dunham writes a good deal about her five-year romance with Antonoff, which eventually derailed for many reasons, including Lena's increasingly severe health problems; long separations because of Jack's touring and Lena's commitment to making and promoting Girls; infidelity; etc. After the split from Jack, Lena resumed having relationships with wrong'uns, which seems to have been a compulsion.

Addressing the consequences of sudden success, Dunham writes, "One of the things I hadn't known to expect about being famous, as obvious as it now seems, is how many things people would want from you...I've been handed more scripts, novels, pitches, storyboards, and résumé cards than I could ever possibly read." She goes on, "I began to pack in coffee dates, three or four stacked on my rare free afternoons, with anyone who needed advice...A Saturday wasn't for recovering...it was for ensuring that as many people as possible had a positive perception of me." The constant and repeated requests for time, money, and favors became crippling, and contributed to Dunham's declining health.

Dunham suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder starting in childhood, and new symptoms of distress led her to take Lexapro, Klonopin, and Benzodiazepines as (she felt) she needed. Dunham's first memoir, published at age 28, resulted in social media trolls calling her things like racist, fat, whore, ugly, ignorant rich girl, child molester (for looking at her baby sister's genitals), and more.

At about the same time, Lena's body broke down. She writes, "First came the stomachache, a mixture of stomachache and dull thudding...I could only [eat] bread...Then my period started and didn't stop. Then my mouth filled with canker sores...that stung all the time." Lena was diagnosed with endometriosis (a condition resulting from endometrial tissue growing outside the uterus), and she had surgery when she could no longer handle the pain.



Going forward, Dunham got additional medications and more surgeries, and endless days spent in bed, often with her father sitting by her side. However, there was no improvement in Dunham's health. Finally, Lena learned she also had a genetic connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which led to more medical procedures, and finally a hysterectomy at age 32. This was traumatic for a young woman who longed to have children one day.



In November 2017, right after her hysterectomy, Dunham and her best friend/co-showrunner Jenni Konner did something Dunham is deeply ashamed of. She doesn't expand on this in the book, but this is what happened: actress Aurora Perrineau accused Murray Miller, a writer on Girls, of sexually assaulting her when she was 17. With no evidence whatsoever, Dunham and Konner issued a statement saying Perrineau's allegation was false. The public backlash was fast and furious, and Dunham later apologized to Perrineau. Lena still deeply regrets the incident, which - among other things - soured her relationship with Konner.

To add to Dunham's problems, she and Jack Antonoff broke up after her hysterectomy. Lena was crushed, and having decided the only thing that could save her was to be wanted, Lena took up with a man she knew from childhood. Sadly, Lena's new boyfriend turned out to be an alcoholic needing a soft spot to land.

When the final season of Girls wrapped in 2017, Dunham - still suffering from nausea and pain - was taking Adderall, Klonopin, and Percoset. Dunham finally admitted she had a serious drug problem, and her parents drove her to a rehab facility called the Center for Motivation and Change. Dunham describes her experience there in detail, and explains how it helped her become clean.


The Center For Motivation and Change


Lena got a pass from rehab to attend the Met Gala

Following rehab, Dunham had to put her life back together, make amends to myriad people, and clean up the chaos left in her wake. Dunham lost friends, continued suffering from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, tried IVF (with plans to use a surrogate), accidentally set fire to herself, had sex with random men, and navigated the Covid pandemic.


Lena Dunham celebrating being five years drug free

Dunham also continued creating, writing, directing, and producing programs, and she worked on the series 'Camping', 'Industry', 'Genera+ion', and 'Too Much'.





I think people would empathize with Dunham's ongoing health problems, but might not want to be her friend. In an interview, Lena herself said, "I have annoyed people since I was so small. I was an annoying kid. I was a tryhard. I was loud. I didn't always know how to move through space with other kids in a way that wasn't a little off or disruptive." Apparently, Dunham carried some of this behavior into adulthood.

Lena doesn't talk about her current life in the book, but she married musician Luis Felber in 2021, and recently had a baby via surrogate. I wish Lena luck, and I'll read her next memoir if she writes one.


Lena Dunham and Luis Felber


Lena Dunham and Luis Felber at the premiere of Too Much with stars Megan Stalter and Will Sharpe


Lena Dunham, Luis Felber, and their baby

I had a digital copy of the book as well as the audiobook, narrated by Lena Dunham, and it's good to hear Dunham tell her own story.

Rating: 4 stars

Review of "The Affair: A Strangers and Brothers Novel" by C.P. Snow

 

 

I first read C.P. Snow's 'Strangers and Brothers' series some time ago, and it became a favorite. The novels focus on an English barrister/civil servant, Lewis Eliot, who rises from poverty to a position of influence in the early-to-mid 1900s. Eliot is present in the entire eleven-book series, but he's not always the central character.

The Affair is part of the series, but it works fine as a standalone book.

The story takes place in 1953 and 1954, when narrator Lewis Eliot is a 48-year-old senior civil servant and an ex-Fellow of Cambridge University. Lewis still has close connections with his Cambridge college, especially because his brother Martin Eliot and his friend Francis Getfliffe are current Fellows.



Lewis gets drawn into a college scandal when one of the younger Fellows, physicist Donald Howard, is dismissed because of "a piece of scientific fraud." Howard is accused of manipulating a diffraction photograph used in his fellowship thesis and a published paper.



With the encouragement of his wife, Howard disputes the dismissal. He claims he found the photograph in the notes of his deceased mentor, Professor C.J.B. Palairet, a distinguished physicist and Fellow of the Royal Society.

Lewis agrees to meet Howard, whom Lewis finds to be terse and unlikable. Moreover, Howard is an admitted Communist sympathizer, which makes him unpopular with the Cambridge Fellows. All that aside, Lewis is concerned with the evidence, and he asks Howard, "Did you know there are no signs of any such photograph in the whole of [Professor Palairet's] scientific notebooks?" Howard responds, "What I want to know is, who looked?"



And that turns out to be the crux of the matter.

Two Cambridge scientists, Julian Skeffington and Francis Getliffe, ask the Court of Seniors - composed of the Master, Crawford; Winslow; Brown; and Nightingale - to reopen Howard's case. The court members are reluctant because they think Howard is guilty; they're anxious to avoid a public scandal; and they want to preserve Professor Palairet's reputation.



After an initial refusal, the Court of Seniors agrees to rehear Howard's case when one of Professor Palairet's notebooks is found to be missing a photograph. That is, there's a space where a photograph used to be. There's no proof it's the photograph Howard used, but it might be.

As things play out, there's a possibility someone DELIBERATELY removed the photograph that would prove Howard's innocence.

Howard has a couple of hearings, with the last one conducted as a trial, with barrister Gilbert Dawson-Hill representing the side that supports Howard's dismissal; and former barrister Lewis Eliot representing the side that wants Howard reinstated. Witnesses provide testimony, and are questioned by both barristers.



The novel has a good bit of drama before the final hearing, and the book is reminiscent of C.P. Snow's novel The Masters which also features a vote among Cambridge Fellows. In 'The Masters', the vote concerns electing the new college Master, but the dynamics are similar.

There are some light moments in the novel, provided by 96-year-old Professor Gay, a Senior Fellow who's renowned for his studies of Nordic sagas. Gay was not invited to participate in the Court of Seniors because - due to his age - he misidentifies people, falls asleep during proceedings, and would be an unreliable judge. The Master, Crawford, even suggested it would be "too much" for Gay. Gay considers this libel, and wants Lewis to help him take action against the college.



Gay tells Lewis, "That would teach them a lesson. I don't believe in being too genteel, my dear chap. That's why I've attained a certain position in the world. It's a great mistake, when one has attained a certain position in the world, to be too genteel about teaching people a lesson." 

The college buys Gay off by resurrecting the eighteenth-century office of Moderator, and Gay gets to instruct the Fellows and barristers "to see that justice is done."

Gay has an amusing tic in his speech patterns, and over the course of the story he refers to: a drink and half; a gale and a half; a climate and a half; an action and a half; a surprise and a half; a purpose and a half; a case and a half; a question and a half; a luxury and a half; a book and a half; a term and a half; and a task and a half. One can't help but like the old fellow. 😊

While the depiction of Gay is amusing, descriptions of some characters in the novel are unflattering. For example, Lewis describes lecturer Tom Orbell - who got Lewis involved in the Howard case - as "A large young man, cushioned with fat, but with heavy bones and muscles underneath. He was already going bald...the skin of his face was fine-textured and pink, and his smile was affable, open, malicious, eager to please...his big light-blue eyes stayed watchful and suspicious."



Some of the women wouldn't be delighted with their descriptions either. For instance, Lewis notes that Nightingale's wife is a plump woman [whose] shoulders and upper arms were beginning to ham out with fat; her eyes were full, sleepy, exopthalmic.



And Lewis describes his brother Martin's wife as looking much more worn than her husband. Lewis goes on, "She had always been tall and big-framed, but recently her shoulders had rounded and she had put on weight; not only had her bosom got full and shapeless, but she had thickened through the middle."



Luckily, Lewis's wife Margaret has fine bones and looks youthful.



I found the story engaging and was anxious to learn the outcome of the trial at the Court of Seniors. Nevertheless, I'm hoping other books in the series don't involve voting by Cambridge Fellows. 

Rating: 3.5 stars 

Review of "God's Country: A Cork O'Connor Novel" by William Kent Krueger

In this 21st book in the long-running 'Cork O'Connor' series, Cork takes family members on an adventure in the Boundary Waters, but things take a dangerous turn.

Background: Cork O'Connor, whose ancestry is Irish and Anishinaabe Indian, was the sheriff of Tamarack County, Minnesota for ten years. Afterwards, Cork became a private investigator.....



.....and he also runs a hamburger shack called 'Sam's Place' in his hometown of Aurora, Minnesota. Over the years, Sam's Place provided jobs for many teens in the area, including the O'Connor youngsters.



Cork and his first wife Jo had three children named Jenny, Annie, and Stephen. Later, after Cork became a widower, he married Rainy Bisonette.



Rainy is an Ojibwe Indian and the great-niece of Cork's best friend Henry Meloux - an elderly Mide (medicine man) and spiritual guide.



*****

As the novel opens, Cork is sixty-years-old, and starting to feel his age.



Cork's daughter Annie is deceased, and his other children have embarked on their individual lives and careers. Cork's daughter Jenny is married to tribal policeman Daniel, and they have an 8-year-old son called Waaboo;



and Cork's son Stephen is married to Belle.



Cork is very contemplative in this book, and thinks a great deal about spirituality. He observes, "I often wonder about the plan of the Creator. I've seen enough cruelty in this world to understand why some people don't believe in the Great Spirit." Later, Cork notes, "I was baptized and raised Catholic. Because of the Ojibwe blood that also flows through my veins, I was schooled from an early age in the spirituality handed down from my native ancestors." As much as he can, Cork merges his Christian and Ojibwe beliefs, and raised his family to do the same.

Cork views the Boundary Waters as 'God's Country', and goes into them as often as he can because it feels like a sanctuary, "a place you can feel the presence of the Creator all around you."



For an all-male family bonding experience, Cork plans an excursion into the Boundary Waters, a multi-day escapade. The adventurers include Cork, Stephen, Daniel, Waaboo, and Cork's brother-in-law Mal and his 7-year-old son Luke. So four adults and two children.

Before the venture begins, several things occur.

➽ Stephen and Waaboo have the gift of visions, and both of them have a disturbing dream: Cork is on the ground and a wolf has torn his chest open with his teeth and claws and he's eating Cork's heart. When Cork consults the mide Henry Meloux, who often speaks in riddles, Henry suggests the wolf is Cork himself.



➽ When Cork goes to rent an extra canoe and satellite phone from Borealis Outfitters in town, he learns that his friend, wilderness guide Cordell Bishop, got hired to guide three city folks. Corell's wife Babs says, "Didn't like those three. Soft hands. Knew nothing about roughing it. Didn't come dressed right...[Cordell will] be babysitting the whole time."



The story is narrated by Cork, who notes ominous signs as soon as the male-bonding excursion begins.



Cork recalls, "We unloaded and carried our canoes and gear into the lake. That's when I found the first evidence of the kind of people Cordell was dealing with - a wrapper from a Snickers bar...dropped carelessly on the shoreline." It's verboten to leave trash in the Boundary Waters, and Cork soon finds granola bar wrappers, cigar butts, and other garbage.

When Cork's group has traveled into the Boundary Waters and set up camp, Cork notices blood and ropes, signalling someone was tied up and injured. Cork uses the satellite phone to call Sheriff Marsha Dross, and asks about the men who hired Cordell. Marsha says she'll check things out, and later reports that Cordell's party used false identifications.



After Cork receives this alarming information, the satellite phone is accidentally destroyed. So Cork sends Stephen, Daniel, Waaboo, Mal, and Luke back home, and continues on alone, to check on the welfare of his friend Cordell. Things then take a horrible turn. Cork finds a dead man, then locates Cordell tied to a tree - a prisoner of two men Cork calls Stan and Ollie (because one is fat and one is thin, like the comedy duo).





I don't want to give away too much, but in fact, there's not a lot more to say. Stan and Ollie (who are actually the Kennedy brothers) are searching for a pack that was hidden in the Boundary Waters by their father. The brothers are clueless about the vast wilderness region, and need a guide. Cork exchanges himself for Cordell, who's been shot, is badly injured, and has no canoe or supplies.



Over the next few days, Cork is repeatedly punched, kicked, and threatened with a gun by sadistic Ollie. Moreover, campers who canoe into the vicinity of the Kennedy brothers are in deadly peril.

The tale of Cork and the Kennedy brothers takes up about three-quarters of the book and reads like a television episode with multiple cliffhangers. By this I mean, Cork gets the upper hand, then things go wrong again and again and again. In the meantime, Cork does everything he can to make Stan and Ollie miserable, like telling them urine mixed with mud will ward off blackflies (it really attracts bugs). In fact, Cork actually appears to be planning the demise of his tormentors.

The author (apparently) means for Cork's ordeal to test his faith in the Creator, who's allowing Stan and Ollie to pillage God's Country, torture and kill people, and so on. Cork contemplates this spiritual dilemma many times in the story, and it gets old.



William Kent Krueger's descriptions of the Boundary Waters bring the region to life, and it's interesting to read about canoeing, portaging, camping, fishing, and cooking in the wild. Other than that, I didn't enjoy the story. I hope Krueger gets back on track with his next Cork O'Connor book.

Thanks to Netgalley, William Kent Krueger, and Atria Books for an ARC of the novel.

Rating: 2.75 stars

Review of "The Vanishing Half: A Novel" by Brit Bennett

  

In the mid-1900s, Mallard is a town in Louisiana that's so small, it's not on any map. Mallard is populated with light-skinned Black people who 'don't marry dark.' This doesn't stop lynchings though, and five-year-old identical twins Desiree and Stella Vignes see their father dragged away and killed by angry White men. The twins' mother Adele is left to raise the girls alone, and supports the family by cleaning the house of a White family in nearby Opelousas. Desiree and Stella are very close, and do most things together.





When Desiree and Stella finish tenth grade, their mother Adele takes them out of school and gets them work cleaning a house in Opelousas. This isn't the future the girls pictured for themselves, and during the Founders Day Celebration in 1954, when Desiree and Stella are sixteen, they run away to New Orleans and get jobs in a laundry.



Things happen, and the girls go their separate ways.

In time, Desiree becomes a fingerprint analyst in Washington, D.C and marries a very dark-skinned Black man named Sam Winston. Conversely, Stella passes for White to become a secretary, and ends up married to a wealthy White businessman named Blake Sanders.

Desiree's husband Sam turns out to be a wife-beater, and in 1968, Desiree returns to Mallard with her 8-year-old daughter Jude, who stands out for her blue-black skin. Desiree lives with her mother Adele and gets a job waiting tables in Lou's Egg House.



Meanwhile, Stella and her husband Blake live in an upscale White neighborhood in Brentwood, California, and have a 7-year-old daughter named Kennedy. Stella is a woman of leisure who shops, lolls in the pool, and occasionally volunteers at Kennedy's school.



In alternating sections, we follow the lives of Desiree and Stella and their daughters. I don't want to give away spoilers, so I'll be brief and circumspect in my remarks. The story goes back and forth in time, to cover the lives of both sisters.

In Mallard, Desiree becomes romantically involved with an old acquaintance named Early, who now has a job 'finding people' all over the country (mostly for a loan shark). Since Desiree desperately misses her sister, Early searches for Stella during his travels to different states.



In Mallard, Desiree's daughter Jude is enrolled in school, where she's bullied, mocked, and has no friends because of her dark skin. Though Jude belongs to an old Mallard family, she's viewed as an outsider who doesn't belong.



When Jude is eighteen, she gets a track scholarship and leaves for college in California. There Jude meets a young trans man, Reese Carter, who's a freelance photographer among other things. Jude and Reese become friends, then more.



While Desiree is settling down in Mallard in 1968, Stella - who's passing for White - has a luxurious life in Brentwood, with a big house, cars, jewelry, furs, and so on. Stella is terrified of meeting any Black people, fearing they'll detect her true racial identity. Thus Stella doesn't employ Black household help, keeps her head down in the presence of Black elevator operators and service workers, etc.

When Stella and her husband Blake attend an HOA meeting in Palace Estates, the enclave where they live, Stella gets a shock. The HOA president announces a Black family, the Walkers, made an offer on a Palace Estates house. Stella, who's usually silent at these meetings, quickly stands up and INSISTS the HOA must stop the Black family from moving in.



The Black Walker family is rich, and threatens to sue. Thus they get the house, which happens to be across the street from Stella. This leads to cordial relations between Stella and Loretta Walker, and a friendship between Kennedy and little Cindy Walker. Later on, there's an ugly incident that leads to drama as racism erupts in Palace Estates.



In Mallard, Jude grows up hearing about her mother's 'missing' twin sister Stella. Jude becomes obsessed with finding Stella. and by way of serendipity and determination, Jude finds her cousin Kennedy, and gets to know her 'anonymously.' At the time, Kennedy has embarked on an acting career, to the dismay of her mother, who wants Kennedy to finish college.



I won't say more about the story, except to note that Desiree, Stella, and their daughters demonstrate drive and a desire to get ahead. Stella's arc is especially interesting because she feels she must cut herself off completely from her Mallard family and her Black roots. Stella's life is full of lies, deception, and fear of exposure, and she's constantly anxious and wary.

The story highlights fraught race relations in the country, including colorism within an African-American community, where lighter skin is preferred. It's sad to think about dark-skinned Jude growing up in Mallard. Jude never got invited to children's birthday parties, sat alone, ate lunch alone, etc. And when Jude became a high school track star - and attracted the attention of a boy - he would meet her in private but ignore her in public. Luckily, Jude was able to go off to college and leave Mallard behind.

I listened to the audiobook, narrated by Shayna Small, who does a fine job.

The Vanishing Half is a compelling novel that's garnered many accolades and awards. Highly recommended.

Rating: 4 stars