The story is narrated by Catherine Grace Cline, who's looking back at her formative years in Georgia, starting with her childhood.
*****
Young Catherine Grace Cline lives in Ringgold, Georgia, a small town where everyone knows your business "down to the color of underwear your mama bought you at the Dollar General Store."
It's the early 1970s and Catherine Grace is still in grade school, but she has big plans. Unlike some of her friends, Catherine Grace doesn't aspire to marry a local boy and nurture a tomato patch. She plans to have an exciting career among the bright lights of Atlanta.
Catherine Grace lost her mama when she was six, and she and her younger sister Martha Ann live with their daddy - the local Baptist Preacher.
The closest thing Catherine Grace has to a mother is the next door neighbor Gloria Jean Graves, who nurtures the Cline girls like they were her own.
Gloria Jean is an anomaly in conservative Ringgold since she's a colorful fashionista - literally.....she has auburn hair, wears eye shadow, and polishes her nails. Moreover, Gloria Jean has been married and divorced five times.
Catherine Grace and Martha Ann LOVE to hear Gloria Jean talk about her husbands and her weddings, but other Ringgold citizens are scandalized by the woman's past.
Nevertheless, Gloria Jean is worldly wise, and helps young Catherine Grace become a strawberry jam entrepreneur.....so the girl can save money to fulfill her dreams.
Other significant adults in Catherine Grace's life are: Mrs. Gulbenk - the 80-year-old home economics teacher who's passionate about tomatoes and proper etiquette;
Miss Raines - the Sunday school teacher who has a crush on the widowed Preacher;
Mrs. Huckstep - who manipulates every situation to favor her privileged granddaughter Emma Sue;
Mr. Tucker - the manager of the Dollar General Store;
And Eddie Franklin - who runs the Dairy Queen.
For good or bad, all these people affect Catherine Grace's life.
Every Saturday afternoon, Catherine Grace and Martha Ann go to the Dairy Queen, where they buy Dilly Bars, sit on a bench, and talk about their future.
Catherine Grace hopes to work for a department store in Atlanta, and plans for Martha Ann to join her there eventually.
Catherine Grace's best friend is Lolly Dempsey - a girl whose neglectful, dismissive mother never wanted her. Other classmates include prissy Ruthie Morgan - whose mama is an attractive, accomplished homemaker and whose father is a World War II hero; and the aforementioned Emma Sue - who's spoiled rotten by her grandma.
Catherine Grace goes to church every Sunday, and often prays to Jesus for help. But the girl's pleas to bring her mama back fall on deaf ears - as do her repeated requests to find the golden egg at the Easter egg hunt and win the Sword Drill Medal at the Bible competition. Catherine Grace is dismayed at the lack of assistance, but never loses her faith.
As the years pass, Catherine Grace acquires a handsome boyfriend named Hank Blankenship, but nothing will deflect the girl from her goal. Thus, on her 18th birthday Catherine Grace moves to Atlanta, where she gets a job in a department store, and rents a room in Mrs. Mabie's home.
Mrs Mabie and her maid Flora are wonderful to Catherine Grace, and it almost seems like heaven is smiling down on her after all.
Then circumstances require Catherine Grace to return to Ringgold, and her life takes a dramatic and unexpected turn.
I enjoyed the novel, which is earnest, funny, and heartrending.....filled with memorable characters.....and has the feel of a Southern classic. Highly recommended.
Rating: 4 stars
This is the first book in the 'Goldilocks Catering' cozy mystery series.
Divorcée Gertrude (Goldy) Bear works hard at her business 'Goldilocks Catering' in Aspen Meadows, Colorado. Goldy needs the money to support herself and her 11-year-old son Arch, since child support from her ex-husband, gynecologist John Richard Korman, is sporadic and inadequate. Korman was a serial philanderer and wife-beater, and Goldy is still wary of his vicious temper.
Goldy's best friend is Marla Korman, John Richard's second ex-wife. The two women call their mutual former spouse 'The Jerk', and delight in trash-talking him over coffee and pastries.
As the story opens, Goldy is preparing to cater the funeral food for Arch's former teacher, Laura Smiley, who purportedly committed suicide. A large crowd is expected at the post-burial gathering, including John Richard and his new girlfriend. As if that's not awkward enough, Arch's grandparents - gynecologist Fritz Korman and his wife Vonette Korman - are also expected to attend.
Goldy prepares delicious food for the gathering, and asks Arch and Patty Sue - a 20-year-old girl who's boarding with Goldy temporarily - to help serve. The guests are enjoying the refreshments when Dr. Fritz Korman falls to the floor, writhing in pain. An ambulance is called, and John Richard shrieks at Goldy, claiming she tried to poison HIM and it backfired on his father.
The police are summoned, and discover Fritz WAS poisoned, by rat killer in his coffee. Luckily, the physician gets back on his feet and back to work in a few days. In the meantime, Detective Tom Schulz - a big handsome bear of a man - closes down Goldilocks Catering pending an investigation into the poisoning.
Goldy is desperate to re-open her business, so she decides to help Detective Schulz with his inquiries. Schulz isn't crazy about the idea, but he's attracted to Goldy, so he lets her (unofficially) assist.
Once Goldy gets the sleuthing bit between her teeth she pokes around everywhere, and makes some important discoveries. It turns out the deceased teacher, Laura Smiley, babysat for the Kormans 20 years ago, when they all lived in Illinois.
Around that time Dr. Fritz Korman was accused of inappropriate behavior, and moved his family to Aspen Meadows for a new start. Laura also moved to Colorado and took a teaching job.
Goldy finds out other things as well, and her compulsive snooping puts her life in danger.
In the course of the story Arch plays Dungeons and Dragons with his best friend Todd - and gets over-involved with the game's magic and violence; Goldy's boarder Patty Sue gets driving lessons - which don't go as planned; Goldy (secretly) caters a couple of gatherings; the townsfolk don costumes for a Halloween party; Fritz is poisoned AGAIN; someone dies; Goldy and Schulz start a relationship; lots of pastries are consumed; and more. To add to the fun, the recipes for Goldy's culinary creations are included.....both savory and sweet treats.
The story is set in the early 1990s, so people aren't running around with cellphones and 'feminists' supposedly aren't shaving their legs. (Was this EVER a widespread thing?)
Colorado is a wonderful setting for the novel and I enjoyed the story. I recommend the book to fans of cozy mysteries.
Recipes in the book include:
Dungeon Bars
Gingersnaps
Toffee
Guacamole
Rating: 3 stars
In this 32nd book in the 'Hercule Poirot' series, the detective investigates mysterious occurrences at a rooming house. Like all Agatha Christie books, it can be read as a standalone.
*****
Hercule Poirot is asked to investigate a rash of theft and vandalism at a boarding house for students and young workers.
The items involved seem random - a diamond ring, a scarf, a backpack, light bulbs, eye wash, etc.- but Poirot suspects a sinister motive may underlie the incidents.
When Poirot threatens to call in the cops a young woman, Celia Austin, confesses to some of the small thefts but claims innocence of the other incidents.
Pretty soon several people connected to the boarding house are dead and residents' dark secrets start to come to light.
To me this seemed like one of Agatha Christie's less developed (and more obvious) plots with not quite believable motivation for many of the characters. Still, it was an entertaining light mystery.
Rating: 3 stars
Jim Gaffigan
Jim
Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. His
comedy routines are generally about fatherhood, indolence, being out of
shape, and food. Gaffigan's books are based on his stand-up material, so
if you've seen his shows or TV specials you know what to expect.
I
read the author's first book, "Dad is Fat", and enjoyed the collection
of fun anecdotes about Gaffigan and his wife Jeannie raising their five
kids in a two-bedroom New York City apartment. In this second book,
Gaffigan addresses another one of his favorite subjects - food.
Gaffigan
likes to joke about his big belly and insatiable appetite, and notes,
"I try to stick to three meals a day, and three more at night." The
comic travels all over the country to perform, and - being 'too lazy' to
research restaurants - relies on local residents and Twitter followers
to direct him to tasty eateries.
Thus, the comic is well-
acquainted with restaurants in every state, and riffs on all manner of
burger places, pizzerias, sandwich shops, food courts, fine dining
establishments, family eateries, buffets, diners, and so on. If he
hasn't been to your favorite bistro, café, or deli, it's because no one
pointed him in that direction.
Gaffigan
asserts, "I'm not a foodie, I'm an eatie," and admits that some of his
favorite foods are steak, cheeseburgers, bacon, French fries, Chicago
deep dish pizza, Katz's pastrami sandwiches, New York bagels, Mexican
food, cake, and more. On the other hand, Gaffigan shuns fruits,
vegetables, and seafood.....and wants to stop the manufacture of
American cheese.
To provide a feel for the humor in the book,
I'll give some examples of Gaffigan's bits. Just picture the comedian
reciting these quips.....
- I hate shellfish. If something looks
like it could crawl out from under your refrigerator I won't eat it.
There's not a nickel worth of difference between a lobster and a
scorpion.
Lobster scorpion
-
Oysters are like snot from a rock. And they're supposed to be an
aphrodisiac. What? It's more likely that after you eat an oyster you're
so happy to be alive you'll sleep with anyone.
Oysters
-
Every city in the Southeast has its own unique type of food, found only
in that city. And it all happens to be called barbecue. Touring the
South, doing standup, feels like an 'eating barbecue' tour.
Barbecue place in Alabama
Barbecue place in Mississippi
-
There's an old Weight Watchers' saying: "Nothing tastes as good as thin
feels." I for one can think of a thousand things that taste better than
thin feels. Many of them are two word phrases that end with cheese,
like: cheddar cheese, blue cheese, and grilled cheese.
Cheese plate
- At meals with our five children, my wife Jeanie likes to say Grace. I view saying Grace as ready, set..... and Amen is go.
Gaffigan family enjoying dessert
-
Mexican food is so good you'd think the REAL immigration problem would
be fat guys like me sneaking across the border INTO Mexico. It's hard to
screw up Mexican food. The Midwestern suburban Mexican food I grew up
with consisted of the same four ingredients: nachos are tortillas with
cheese, meat, and vegetables; burritos are tortillas with cheese, meat,
and vegetables. Ditto for tostadas and chimichangas. It's all the same
stuff in different shapes.
Mexican food
-
I hate when I try to order a salad. My mouth says I'll have a double
quarter pounder with cheese. It's like I have auto-correct in my mouth.
My heart may be willing but my brain abdicated to my taste buds long
ago.
Double quarter pounder with cheese
-
Nobody likes fruit. Fruit takes too much work. You have to wash it. And
you have to take off that sticker Al-Quaeda put on there.
Apple with sticker
-
Bacon is the candy of meat. Bacon makes people happy. Bacon holds a
special place in my heart....and my stomach. I love everything about
bacon, even the name. You can't tell me some of the success of Kevin
Bacon isn't related to his name. After all, no one wants to see a Kevin
Tofu movie.
Bacon
Kevin Bacon
-
I love going to the grocery store. For me it's like going to an art
museum of food I've eaten. In grocery stores food is on display at its
finest. All the fruits are shiny and color coordinated. I love the food
packaging; it's like the clothing of food. It seems the fancier the food
the nicer the packaging. While Pepperidge Farm bread is packaged in the
equivalent of a three piece suit, generic cereal comes in plastic
bags.....and lives on the bottom shelf, like it's homeless.
Grocery store
-
Getting food delivered to my home involves two of my favorite
activities. Eating and not moving. The worst part of delivery for me is
getting up and answering the door.
Grocery delivery
-
I find milk unappealing but what we make from cow's breast milk is
truly amazing. Cheese, ice cream, whipped cream, butter. Everyone loves
cheese. Supposedly the average American eats 23 pounds of cheese a year.
Milk products
- My thoughts on cheeses:
Cheddar
is the utility cheese. It works great everywhere. Great on a hamburger,
great on a sandwich, even great with a piece of apple pie.
Cheddar cheese
Blue
cheese is an acquired taste, and I acquired it. It's not my daily
cheese, but it's one of my favorites. Blue cheese is like the ice cream
sundae of cheese.
Blue cheese
Swiss
is the grapefruit juice of cheese. No one really wants Swiss cheese but
it's nice to provide a choice for the occasional weirdo who wants
something gross tasting.
Swiss cheese
American cheese - I hate American cheese. This would be my letter to Kraft:
Dear
Kraft, I hope you are well. Regarding American cheese, I'd like you to
stop making it please. It's disgusting and completely unsatisfying. Let
me be clear up front. I'm a huge fan of cheese. I love cheese. I've gone
to wine and cheese events just for the cheese. But American cheese is
the worst of all cheeses. I think the plastic that you wrap the slices
in is tastier than the cheese.
American cheese
- McDonalds is the true king of burgers. Burger King is the imposter king. It's motto is, "Not as good as McDonalds.'
McDonald's burger
Burger King burger
-
If McDonald's is the one true king of burgers, Wendy's is the
kingslayer. Wendy's is my favorite of the fast food chains. I always
think of Wendy's as a real restaurant. I sometimes walk by Wendy's and
think, 'Shoot, I wish I didn't just eat.' But then I just get a double
anyway.
Wendy's burger
-
Dessert is special. In diners and truck stops desserts are sometimes
put in a rotating glass case, like they're some of Queen Elizabeth's
jewelry.
Dessert display
-
I travel a lot and spend an enormous amount of time in airports. If
your job involves traveling, you understand. It's too exhausting.
Counting the time going to and from the airport, packing, going through
security, flight delays, and picking up checked luggage, a flight from
New York to Chicago takes a week.
- Of all food options at
airports I consider 'Auntie Anne's Pretzels' a last resort. I love
pretzels and have contemplated a world with only pretzel bread on many
occasions. But Auntie Anne's is not for me because I don't consider a
grease soaked pretzel appealing. To be fair Auntie Anne's is not just
pretzels. They also have pretzel dogs and pretzels with pepperonis on
them and pretzels rolled in cinnamon sugar and....that's it. There are
dipping sauces at Auntie Anne's that are distinguished by the ailments
they cause: this sauce causes heart disease, this sauce causes liver
failure.....
-
I love living in New York City. My favorite part of NYC is the bagel.
NYC has the best bagels. There's something special about the NYC bagel. I
wasn't always a bagel snob. Back in Indiana I could go through a sleeve
of frozen Lender's bagels before they were even thawed. As a college
student in Washington DC I worked in a café and discovered the
masterpiece that is a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese and bacon.
But it was in NYC that i received my bagel education. Bagels in NYC are
more dense, more flavorful, and when toasted develop this crunchy outer
crust that becomes its own entity. When you bite through that crunchy
outer layer and experience the warm chewy insides of a NYC bagel you
will become a believer too and you will forsake all other bagels.
Bagels
******
I
listened to the audio version of the book - narrated by the author -
and got a lot of laughs. I'd recommend the book to readers (or
listeners) who like clean stand-up comedy in book form.
Note: To
me this book cover - Jim Gaffigan marrying a hot dog - is hilarious.
Gaffigan would probably say though, that the wiener isn't as beautiful
as his wife Jeannie.
Jeannie Gaffigan
Rating: 4 stars
