Review of "Spare: A Memoir" by Prince Harry

As the book opens, Prince Harry is in Frogmore Gardens after his grandfather's funeral. He and his wife Meghan Markle no longer reside in England, and Harry thinks, "Once upon a time, this was going to be my forever home....When my wife and I fled this place, in fear for our sanity and physical safety, I wasn't sure when I'd ever come back." Harry knows his father and brother don't understand his actions (or claim not to), and this memoir is Harry's attempt to explain.

Prince Harry

While reading the narrative I kept in mind that there are always two sides to every story, but this review will reflect Harry's thoughts. Maybe other Royals will publish their own books some day.

'Spare' is divided into three main parts: Harry's childhood, his army career, and his relationship with Meghan Markle.

One of the defining occurrences in Harry's life was the tragic death of his mother, Princess Diana, for which Harry blames the paparazzi. When (then) Prince Charles told twelve-year-old Harry, "Darling boy, Mummy's been in a car crash....I'm afraid she didn't make it," Harry decided to believe "Mummy isn't dead. She's hiding....She'll be back." Of course this wasn't true, and to be fair, Charles tried to fill the void. From Harry's anecdotes, it seems Charles was a caring, though undemonstrative, father.


Prince William, Prince Harry, and Prince Charles (left to right) at Princess Diana's funeral

Soon after Diana's funeral, Harry went back to Ludgrove School, which was something like a haven for the grieving boy. Matrons coddled the lads, sweets were abundant, Harry enjoyed the roughhousing and sports, and - though he was never a scholar - Harry learned a thing or two.


Ludgrove School


School age Prince Harry with his father

Another key event in Harry's life was his father's affair with Camilla Parker Bowles. Charles' scandalous long-term dalliance with Camilla was well known, and after Diana's death, Charles was determined to legitimize the relationship. Harry writes, "Camilla had played a pivotal role in the unraveling of our parents' marriage, and yes, that meant she'd played a role in our mother's disappearance....but we didn't blame her, and in fact we'd gladly forgive her if she could make Pa happy." (I'm not so sure I believe this.)


Prince Charles with Camilla Parker Bowles

For her part, Camilla embarked on a campaign to win over Harry and Prince William, and Harry is annoyed about Camilla's leaks to the press about her 'successes' with the boys. Later on, Camilla would feed more stories to the media, and Harry believes Camilla constantly used the press - to the detriment of Harry and William - in her Machiavellian crusade to ingratiate herself with the British public and marry Charles. And all this with Charles' collusion (as Harry saw it).

Camilla Parker Bowles

From Ludgrove School Harry went on to Eton College, where William was already in residence. William kept his distance, though, telling Harry "You don't know me Harold. And I don't know you." William didn't want a kid brother tagging along, pestering him, and Harry observes, "[Willy] was forging his own life, and he wasn't willing to give that up." Nevertheless, when there weren't other people around, the brothers would do things together.

Eton College

Prince Harry at Eton College


Prince Harry (left) and Prince William

Eton was academically difficult for Harry, but he liked the sports. He writes, "Rugby let me indulge my rage, which some had now taken to calling a 'red mist'." Like other teens, Harry drank beer, smoked cigarettes, and used weed. Through it all, Harry was plagued by the press, which took every opportunity to publish stories about him - true or not.


Prince Harry playing sports at Eton

During half-term and school holidays, Harry would sometimes accompany his dad to Africa, where Prince Charles had official business and Harry, left with trackers and guides, went on safaris, saw exotic animals, enjoyed campfires, listened to stories, etc. Compared to his life in England, where Royals "were always taught to maintain a buffer zone between You and the rest of Creation, family included" Harry preferred Africa. He notes, "In a matter of hours, I'd gone from a place of aridity, sterility, death, to a wetland of teeming fertility....maybe that was what I yearned for most of all - life." Harry fell in love with Africa, and it became one of his causes in later life.

Prince Harry and his father in South Africa

Prince Harry in Africa

When Harry was getting ready to graduate from Eton, Charles asked him, "And you, darling boy? Have you given any thought to....the future?" In fact, Harry had ambitions for himself, and he and Charles settled on the Army as a next step. Harry remembers, "It made sense. It aligned with my desire to be outside the box....the military would take me away from the prying eyes of the public and press....it also fitted with my hope of making a difference." Following a gap year that took Harry to Australia and Africa, Harry entered the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst.


Prince Harry at the Royal Military Military Academy at Sandhurst

Before that though, Harry outraged the public by wearing a Nazi uniform to a costume party. Harry chose the outfit with the approval of William and Kate, and it caused a major brouhaha - which Harry expands on in the memoir. Harry meant no harm, but to me this indicates how obtuse and tone deaf Harry (as well as William and Kate) must have been. I can't imagine what they were thinking.


Prince Harry wore a Nazi uniform to a costume party

In any case, Harry entered Sandhurst in 2005, and the military school taught Harry to be a soldier. Harry went to grueling boot camp, took difficult classes, participated in punishing military exercises, and eventually became Second Lieutenant Wales of the Blues and Royals.


Queen Elizabeth at Prince Harry's graduation from Sandhurst

Harry was later deployed to Afghanistan, where he was a Forward Air Controller (FAC). Harry writes, "FACs were tasked with orchestrating all air power, giving cover to lads on the ground, calling in raids - not to mention rescues, medevacs, and the list went on.....it wasn't a new job, certainly, but it was newly vital in this new sort of warfare."


Prince Harry was deployed to Afghanistan

Harry writes a good bit about his military career; his girlfriends (before Meghan); a trip to the North Pole; a visit to the South Pole; rivalries with his brother; his brother's wedding to Kate; his Royal duties; his anxieties; the Invictus Games; and more.....but you'll have to read the book to get the nitty-gritty.


Prince Harry at the Invictus Games

Naturally, the media stalked Harry through all of this, and he recalls what happened when he returned home from a trip abroad. "Parties, clubs pubs, I went out a lot that spring, and tried not to care that, no matter where I went, two paps were always present. Two sorry-looking, extremely terrible paps: Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber. They'd leap from a phone box or from under a parked car....they were ruthless....they'd block me from getting in the car, and then chase the car down the street....they'd run alongside me, taunt me, while pressing the buttons on their cameras, reeling off two hundred photos in ten seconds."

Harry blames this on media mogul Rupert Murdoch, whom Harry later sued.

The paparazzi relentlessly harassed Prince Harry

After the army, bachelor Harry knocked around for several more years. Then in 2016, when Harry was 33, he met American actress Meghan Markle. As Harry describes it, he saw a whimsical Instagram video of his friend Violet with Meghan and, as he puts it, "I'd never seen anyone so beautiful....There was an energy about her, a wild joy and playfulness." Harry and Meghan exchanged messages on Instagram, then they exchanged phone numbers and began texting, texting, texting. The duo finally met at a discreet restaurant....and it was on. Harry was enthralled.


Prince Harry and Meghan Markle

Finding a week when they were both free, Harry and Meghan arranged to meet in Botswana. Their small tent had separate bedrolls, since Harry didn't want to be presumptuous, but Harry and Meghan pushed them together and "lay shoulder to shoulder....listening, talking, watching moon shadows flutter across the nylon." Harry called Meghan 'Meg', she called him 'Haz', and "every moment of that week was a revelation and a blessing."


Prince Harry and Meghan Markle in Botswana (with an elephant)

Needless to say, Harry and Meghan became a couple, flew back and forth across the ocean to visit one another, met each other's families, and so on. When Harry said he was serious about Meghan, William was skeptical, warning, "She's an American actress after all, Harold. Anything might happen."

Though Harry and Meghan tried to keep their relationship under wraps, the media found out, and a 'shit storm' ensued. Harry says, "In those first hours and days....there was a new low every few minutes....I hadn't anticipated this level of unrestrained lying....above all, I hadn't been ready for the racism." To add to the bigotry, the sister of London's former mayor Boris Johnson, suggested "Meg would...do something...genetically...to the Royal family."


The tabloids published cruel stories about Meghan Markle

Harry tried everything to stop the tirade, but it was impossible. Harry finally met with Kensington Palace's comms person Jason, and recalls, "He was very smart, but a tad too cool for my liking. He urged me to do nothing. 'You're just going to feed the beast. Silence is the best option'." This view seemed to prevail among Harry's entire family and the rest of the Royal entourage as well.

The paparazzi tormented Prince Harry and Meghan

When Harry insisted they needed to do something, the Palace said no. Harry writes, "Courtiers blocked us hard. Nothing can be done, they said. And therefore nothing WILL be done." In fact the Palace eventually allowed Harry to issue a statement, but the onslaught continued. In addition, as Harry remembers, "Pa and Willy were furious. They gave me an earful. My statement made them look bad, they said....because they'd never put out a statement for THEIR girlfriends or wives when THEY were being harassed."

As they were wont to do, the paps and media also went after Meghan's family and everyone she ever knew. According to Harry, "In Los Angeles, her mother was being chased every day, to and from her house, to and from the launderette, to and from work. She was also being libeled. One story called her 'trailer trash'....another called her a 'stoner'."


Meghan Markle with her mother

Meghan's dad got pulled into the chaos as well, and his collaboration with the media (for money) caused an ongoing rift between father and daughter.

Meghan Markle with her father

As everyone knows, Harry and Meghan got married, but the harassment went on. After their first baby Archie was born, "a BBC radio presenter posted a photo on his social media - a man and woman holding hands with a chimpanzee."

Harry writes about all this extensively, and it's extremely shocking.

Prince Harry and Meghan with baby Archie

Finally, in 2020, Harry and Meghan decided to step away from their royal duties and they moved to California. The Palace retaliated against the couple, cutting their security, taking away their home at Frogmore Cottage, and the like. You can read all about it in the book, and get a glimpse of Harry and Meghan's current life in California.

Prince Harry and Meghan in California

As I said at the beginning of this review, I believe other interested parties - including King Charles, Queen Camilla, Prince William, Princess Kate, the Palace courtiers, and others - have their side of the story. However, it's my opinion that they DIDN'T DO ENOUGH (by far) to protect Harry and Meghan, and they bear a lot of blame for the rift in the family. Other people may think differently.

The book, penned with ghostwriter J. R. Moehringer, is well-written and interesting. Highly recommended.

Rating: 4 stars