Humorist Dave Barry wrote a syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald for more than two decades and is the author of many amusing memoirs. In this book, Barry relates seven life lessons he learned from his beloved dog Lucy. The lessons are largely common sense, but the anecdotes from Barry's life provide a nice personal touch.
Dave Barry
The book is uneven, with some stories that are laugh out loud funny and some that are rather mundane.
*****
Barry has always been a 'dog person' and starts the book with amusing stories about his previous canines: Mistral, Earnest, and Zippy. About ten years ago, Barry's family adopted a new dog, Lucy, from a rescue agency, and Lucy proved to be beautiful inside and out. Lucy knows how to be happy, and that's the idea behind Barry's 'Lessons from Lucy.'
Dave Barry and Lucy
*****
Lesson 1: Make New Friends, And Keep The Ones You Have
Lucy greets almost everyone she meets, both people and dogs, with her tail wagging. Lucy loves everyone and therefore has loads of friends.
Barry on the other hand, has fallen out of touch with old friends and rarely makes new ones. So he's made a vow: "When I meet new people, I'm going to make an effort to not hide behind my humor barrier, not to use my age (70) as an excuse. I'm going to think about Lucy and be open to new friendships and stay in better touch with my old friends."
*****
Lesson 2: Have Some Fun
Lucy has fun all the time. She loves to play with her family, her toys, and other dogs.
Barry fears that he's stopped having fun now that he's older, and wants to remedy that by reviving his involvement with two organizations that he found enjoyable in the past: 'The World Famous Lawn Rangers' and the 'Rock Bottom Remainders.'
The World Famous Lawn Rangers are a marching unit that performs precision lawn mower-and-broom routines in parades (by precision, he means not even remotely precise). Each Ranger, wearing a cowboy hat, marches holding a broom in one hand and pushing a lawn mower with the other.
At the 'brooms up' command, the Rangers raise their brooms and either 'walk the dog' (run around in small circles turning the mowers 360 degrees).....
......or 'cross and toss' (switch places with other Rangers and toss their brooms to each other).
The Lawn Rangers have marched in parades all over the country, including the Rose Bowl, the Fiesta Bowl, and President Obama's inauguration parade. Dave hasn't marched with the Rangers in a while, but hopes to rejoin them soon.
______
The Rock Bottom Remainders are a rock band composed of authors. Some of the original members were Amy Tan, Stephen King, Ridley Pearson, Roy Blount Jr., Barbara Kingsolver, and others.
The Rock Bottom Remainders - who perform at book-related or benefit events - were always terrible (musically speaking), and Roy Blount Jr. described their musical genre as 'hard listening.' However, the group developed a repertoire of onstage shtick and hijinks that was very entertaining. The band sometimes has 'guest musicians', and when Carl Hiaasen performed with the band he was so nervous that he brought his guitar teacher onstage with him. 😄
Dave hasn't played with the band recently, and is looking to remedy that.
*****
Lesson 3: Be Mindful: Pay AttentionTo The People You Love (Not Later, Right Now).
Lucy is always fully present in the moment. She doesn't second guess the past or fret about the future (she's a dog, after all). For instance, when the trash man comes to collect the garbage, Lucy strenuously objects (by barking).....but the instant the man is gone, Lucy forgets about him.
Barry, on the other hand, is often not 'in the moment.' Like many other people, Barry is constantly checking his phone or thinking about other things - even when he's with family and/or friends. He hopes to change that.
*****
Lesson 4: Let Go Of Your Anger, Unless It's About Something Really Important, Which It Almost Never Is.
Lucy doesn't hold on to anger. She gets mad sometimes: at the garbage man, the Goodyear blimp, and sometimes at dogs that (for some unknown reason) she decides are assholes. But as soon as the the cause of her anger is gone, Lucy is over it.
Barry gets angry much more often than Lucy, at lots of things, such as:
- People who sample too many flavors at the ice cream shop when there's a big line behind them. He sometimes thinks to himself: "If everyone else in line hated you as much as I do, your body would burst into flames from the hate rays being beamed at it."
- People who stop at a red light and immediately look down at their phone, not paying attention to when the light turns green again.
- People who repeatedly stand up at a sports event, so the spectators behind them can't see.
- People who litter.
- People who don't say thank you when you hold the door for them.
- And lots more.
Barry gets especially angry at Comcast customer service and tells a hilarious story about this. But, taking an example from Lucy, Barry is trying to let things go a little more.
*****
Lesson 5: Try Not To Judge People By Their Looks, And Don't Obsess Over Your Own.
Lucy doesn't judge other dogs by their appearance.
Unlike dogs, humans are obsessed with looks, a trait that's hard-wired into human biology. In prehistoric times - for reasons related to natural selection - women were attracted to men who could provide food and protection (that is, guys who were strong and aggressive) and men were attracted to women who were fertile (that is gals who looked attractive....which is indicative of good health).
In modern times, physical traits are less important for human survival but men and women are still attracted to a certain kind of look. Barry notes that he never resembled the man who - in caveman days - would have helped with the mastodon hunt. Instead, Dave always looked like the guy who would have stayed a safe distance away and cracked jokes. As a result, teenage Dave had a hard time attracting girls....especially the pretty girls he liked.
When Barry got older, he learned to appreciate qualities other than looks, like intelligence, sense of humor, honesty, wisdom, courage, generosity, etc. The moral is, you shouldn't judge people by their appearance. There are exceptions of course.....and you can be legitimately put off by folks who have a swastika tattooed on their forehead.
*****
Lesson 6: Don't Let Your Happiness Depend On Things; They Don't Make You Truly Happy, And You'll Never Have Enough Anyway.
Lucy doesn't worry about hurricanes....which tend to mess with our things. She doesn't get nervous because she doesn't know a storm is coming. 🐶
Humans, however, become frantic when a hurricane is approaching, and Barry tells a long story about this. I'll cite some brief excerpts.
Barry's family, which lives in Florida, sees a lot of big storms. One thing Barry and his wife do when a storm approaches is buy supplies, like food....."sandwich makings, canned soup, Spam, candy, chips....and enough granola bars and peanut-butter crackers to supply a cruise ship for six months at sea."
After the hurricane, when there's no electricity - and people are left without internet/phone/cable - the restoration of power becomes an all-consuming obsession. People "would sacrifice a goat if they thought it would bring their power back, and they had a goat." In large part, this is because people can't tolerate the loss of technological conveniences and diversions: computers, internet, big screen TVs, etc.
Barry writes about how happy he was when, in 1955, his family got their first television - even though it was tiny and had horrible reception.
Now, like many people, Barry has a ton of 'stuff'.....and it's not enough. He's always buying more.
Having learned simplicity from Lucy, Barry plans to divest himself of superfluous belongings.
*****
Lesson 7: Don't Lie Unless You Have A Really Good Reason, Which You Probably Don't.
Lucy and other dogs are honest to a fault. You always know when dogs have done a bad thing because they 'confess' by whimpering and looking guilty. Cats on the other hand, have no remorse and have the morals of Hannibal Lecter. Barry writes: "If you come home and find your cat inside your parakeet's cage, holding your dead parakeet in its jaws, your cat will be like 'Obviously this parakeet committed suicide'."
People are more like cats than dogs. They lie all the time. Sometimes folks tell little white lies - like when a six-year-old, watching a commercial, asks 'What is Viagra'; or a friend texts something meant to be funny and you text back LOL when you're really OMA (Only Mildly Amused).
But often, people tell serious untruths - especially politicians.
Barry believes it's almost always better to be honest with people. Act like Lucy, "if you mess up, fess up."
*****
At the end of the book Dave assesses the changes he's been trying to make in his life and his (self-assessed) grades for the seven lessons are: C, A, C+, B-, B-, B+, B.
Not too bad.
This isn't one of Dave Barry's best books (IMO) but it's still worth reading if you need a smile.
Thanks to Netgalley, the author (Dave Barry), and the publisher (Simon & Schuster) for a copy of the book.
Rating: 3.5 stars
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