This comical romp has a cast of wacky characters who get involved in robbery, murder and mayhem.
Connor Raposo is a handsome, tanned, twentysomething man of Portuguese ancestry who feels an obligation to his 'clan', namely his mob-connected brother Vasco and his Uncle Didi. After stints as a schoolteacher and a Detroit casino worker, Connor is now working for Uncle Didi in Rhode Island.
Didi - who prides himself on inventing creative frauds - is running a charity scam out of a Winnebago, which is convenient for moving 'the business' every few weeks. Didi's latest con involves calling people to exhort donations for bogus charities like Orphans from Outer Space; Organ-Grinder-Monkey Retirement Ranch; Prom Queens Anonymous (for former pageant winners gone to seed); Free Beagles from Nicotine Addiction (for beagles used in smoking experiments); and Holy Sisters of the Blessed Little Feet.
Didi's employees, Eartha and Vaughn - hired because they sound like famous singers - call people to cajole, wheedle, and gently bully them into giving money.....preferably cash.....to the non-existent causes. Connor, who's the worst liar in the world, can't make the phone calls so he's the 'bag man.' Connor collects contributions from donors' homes or from the post office box where they send their donations.
One day Connor is on a personal errand in nearby New London, Connecticut - where he's picking up his Bruno Magli shoes from a repair shop - when he sees a horrific accident. A 'Fat Bob' Harley Davidson motorcycle crashes into a truck, and the bike rider is shredded and decapitated. The victim is assumed to be the bike's owner - a man called 'Fat Bob' for his girth and his collection of Fat Bob motorcycles. However, the owner had lent his bike to an acquaintance.....who's now toast.
Fat Bob motorcycle
Connor, who can't extricate his car from the accident scene until the cops clear the street, starts an idle conversation with a fellow onlooker.....who introduces himself as Sal Nicoletti. Sal - who has lifts in his shoes; an Elvis-style pompadour; a Rolex watch; an array of gold chains; several large rings; and a pricey pen - seems like a shady guy. Nevertheless, Connor gives Sal a ride home, and is immediately mesmerized by the dandy's gorgeous sexy wife. This infatuation leads to a scene with cuticle scissors that will be imprinted on my mind for a long time. 😃
Meanwhile, two New London detectives - Benny Vikström and Manny Streeter - look into the fatal motorcycle-truck collision.....and discover it was deliberate murder. The cops proceed to investigate, but their progress is hampered by their ongoing low-key feud. This stems from the time Vikström made fun of Streeter's at-home karaoke set-up - complete with a stage, a bar, and little round tables. Vikström and Streeter's constant passive-aggressive antics are funny, but got a bit old.
As things turn out, the wrong biker was killed in the crash and flashy Sal Nicoletti - who's actually in the witness protection program - is implicated in the murder. All this sets up a complicated scenario involving Fat Bob - who goes on the run; Fat Bob's estranged wife, who's selling off his beloved bikes for spite; a mentally ill homeless man who thinks he has a giant lizard tail; a murderous thug named Chucky and his henchmen, one of whom is thinking of abandoning the profession....and wonders if there's a 'Murderers Anonymous'; two FBI agents who have little use for Vikström and Streeter; a red-haired man who's out for revenge; a 'nice girl' who takes a shine to Connor; Manny Streeter's beagle-loving wife, who gets a call from Didi's scam artists; and more.
Connor unwittingly puts himself in the center of the maelstrom and his life is seriously endangered, thanks in part to his rapscallion brother Vasco.....who's an informant for gangsters. The story is replete with conspiracies and unintended consequences, and provides plenty of laughs.
One of the most amusing characters in the story is Vaughn, Didi's youthful cohort who claims he IS an orphan from outer space. Vaughn speaks almost entirely in malapropisms, saying things like: "I'm having a nervous shakedown"; "I need medical resistance"; "I'm suffering from cardinal arrest"; "Damp weather's hard on my sciences"; "What do you think about gerbil warming?"; "What are you incinerating"; "Inflammable language scares me"; and so on.
The book is entertaining, but the jokes are repetitive and the plethora of 'villains' make it hard to remember who's who. Still, the story is funny and I'd recommend it to readers who enjoy zany mysteries.
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