Monday, April 6, 2020

Review of "Donald and the Golden Crayon: A Parody" by P. Shauers




This parody is based on Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson, a children's book for ages 3 and up.



In the story, Harold has a magic crayon that can create things in the real world. One night, Harold takes a walk and draws up a forest, a dragon, an ocean, a sailboat, a picnic, a hot-air balloon, a city, and more. Finally, Harold draws his own bed and goes to sleep. It's a charming and popular children's book.

*****

In "Donald and the Golden Crayon", President Trump has a magic crayon, and uses it to draw things that are important to him.



Among other things, Donald draws the best golf course ever; a wall to keep out people from shithole countries; a 'yuge'crowd of people that love him; a pipeline through the shithole reservation inhabited by Native Americans; a 'yuge' parade of soldiers he likes because they weren't captured; his own cozy room with a door that reads "Stable Genius"; and so on. (See the sample pages below.)

Like the Donald in real life, the Donald in the book is a xenophobic blowhard who's misogynistic; indifferent to the environment; enthralled with his golden shower (wink wink); infuriated by fake news; loyal to supporters who spout hate; unsympathetic to hurricane victims; clueless about healthcare; an avid Tweeter; and fond of the word Covfefe (a famous typo from one of Trump's tweets).

The book is very funny and portrays the President's personality in a nutshell, but it's definitely not for kids. I think the book would probably make an amusing gift for the right person. 😁

Thanks to Netgalley, the author (P. Shauers), and the publisher (Schiffer Publishing) for a copy of the book.

You can follow my reviews at: https://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot....

Sample pages



In the middle of the night, Donald woke from his terrific sleep and cried out, "Covfefe."



Now that he was wide awake, Donald decided that he wanted to play golf. Using his amazing golden crayon, Donald drew a hill, and then another, and soon had a golf course.



It was the best golf course ever. Tremendous golf course.



The door led to a secret room. It had many beeping cybers and a huge nuclear button. The biggest nuclear button anywhere.



But what's the point of having nuclears if we can't use them, thought Donald.



He climbed out of the secret room and came out right into a Native American reservation. Another shithole. Sad.



He ran a pipeline made of beautiful steel, beautiful Russian steel, right through it. So much winning.



He filled the parade with soldiers that he liked because they weren't captured. He didn't have to march because a had a heel spur.



What loser invented crayons? Too weak. They break too easily. So sad.



After accomplishing so much, Donald was exhausted and went to sleep. As he drifted off he cried out, "Covfefe" once again.....


Rating: 4 stars

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