*****
As the story opens, a golden-age Palm Beach socialite named Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons goes missing from a fundraising soiree at elegant Lipid House.
The police think Kiki Pew drank too many cocktails, took Ecstasy, fell into the Koi pond, and drowned, though divers can't find her body.
A day later the anxious manager of Lipid House, Tripp Teabull, calls animal wrangler Angie Armstrong, who owns and operates a company called Discreet Captures.
A giant Burmese python, eighteen feet long, is perched in a tree on the grounds of Lipid House, and Tripp wants it gone pronto.
Angie prefers to capture and release intruding wildlife, but the snake is too big, and is digesting a giant meal to boot. So Angie has to kill the reptile to be able to cart it off. The wrangler then stores the reptile temporarily, planning to turn it over to wildlife officers, who'll dissect and study it.
Manager Teabull realizes the python must have eaten Kiki Pew, and fears this will adversely affect business at Lipid House. So Teabull hires two goons to steal the dead snake and bury it.
Things don't go according to plan, however, and the police find Kiki Pew's twisted body in a cement grave and the snake's empty carcass near a railroad crossing.
The authorities conclude that Kiki Pew was murdered, and arrest an illegal Honduran immigrant named Diego Beltran for the 'homicide.'
Kiki Pew was a charter member of the POTUS Pussies (aka Potussies), a group of wealthy older Palm Beach ladies who LOVE President Trump.
The remaining Potussies urge POTUS to make an example of Diego Beltran, and - in typical Trump fashion - the president rabble rouses his supporters to condemn the young man. The situation soon gets out of hand, with conspiracy theories running rampant and demonstrators shouting in front of the jail.
For her part, wrangler Angie has figured out what happened to Kiki Pew, and tries to get Diego released from lock-up. As all this goes down, more people are killed to keep Kiki Pew's fate secret.
Meanwhile, POTUS is going about his business: Tweeting, playing golf, having sex with a stripper, going to fundraisers, using his tanning bed, etc.
The tanning bed is high maintenance, with a dedicated South African mechanic to keep it ship-shape, and a chunky Trump double (with a yellow-orange hairpiece) to test it every time the president plans to toast his skin.
The president's wife gets surprisingly kind treatment in this book. FLOTUS is tall, beautiful, and has little to do with her husband in private.
FLOTUS knows her husband's sexual proclivities, and is herself having an affair with her middle-eastern Secret Service agent, Ahmet Youssef, who's been 'renamed' Keith Josephson to keep POTUS's blood pressure in check.
A host of entertaining people make an appearance in the story, including a recurring Hiaasen character named Skink Tyree. One-eyed Skink is a former Florida governor who walked off the job to protest environmental damage. Skink lives off the grid, eats road kill, and is incubating an iguana egg in his empty eye socket.
There's also a police chief who would do the right thing if it wasn't for the Potussies; a Secret Service agent who takes a shine to Angie; a vengeful poacher who lost his hand to an alligator; Kiki Pew's entitled sons, who can't wait to spend their inheritance; and more.
Humor permeates the narrative, the lampooning of Trump is spot on, and the hoity-toity Potussies are priceless.
As the story opens, a golden-age Palm Beach socialite named Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons goes missing from a fundraising soiree at elegant Lipid House.
The police think Kiki Pew drank too many cocktails, took Ecstasy, fell into the Koi pond, and drowned, though divers can't find her body.
A day later the anxious manager of Lipid House, Tripp Teabull, calls animal wrangler Angie Armstrong, who owns and operates a company called Discreet Captures.
A giant Burmese python, eighteen feet long, is perched in a tree on the grounds of Lipid House, and Tripp wants it gone pronto.
Angie prefers to capture and release intruding wildlife, but the snake is too big, and is digesting a giant meal to boot. So Angie has to kill the reptile to be able to cart it off. The wrangler then stores the reptile temporarily, planning to turn it over to wildlife officers, who'll dissect and study it.
Manager Teabull realizes the python must have eaten Kiki Pew, and fears this will adversely affect business at Lipid House. So Teabull hires two goons to steal the dead snake and bury it.
Things don't go according to plan, however, and the police find Kiki Pew's twisted body in a cement grave and the snake's empty carcass near a railroad crossing.
The authorities conclude that Kiki Pew was murdered, and arrest an illegal Honduran immigrant named Diego Beltran for the 'homicide.'
Kiki Pew was a charter member of the POTUS Pussies (aka Potussies), a group of wealthy older Palm Beach ladies who LOVE President Trump.
The remaining Potussies urge POTUS to make an example of Diego Beltran, and - in typical Trump fashion - the president rabble rouses his supporters to condemn the young man. The situation soon gets out of hand, with conspiracy theories running rampant and demonstrators shouting in front of the jail.
For her part, wrangler Angie has figured out what happened to Kiki Pew, and tries to get Diego released from lock-up. As all this goes down, more people are killed to keep Kiki Pew's fate secret.
Meanwhile, POTUS is going about his business: Tweeting, playing golf, having sex with a stripper, going to fundraisers, using his tanning bed, etc.
The tanning bed is high maintenance, with a dedicated South African mechanic to keep it ship-shape, and a chunky Trump double (with a yellow-orange hairpiece) to test it every time the president plans to toast his skin.
The president's wife gets surprisingly kind treatment in this book. FLOTUS is tall, beautiful, and has little to do with her husband in private.
FLOTUS knows her husband's sexual proclivities, and is herself having an affair with her middle-eastern Secret Service agent, Ahmet Youssef, who's been 'renamed' Keith Josephson to keep POTUS's blood pressure in check.
A host of entertaining people make an appearance in the story, including a recurring Hiaasen character named Skink Tyree. One-eyed Skink is a former Florida governor who walked off the job to protest environmental damage. Skink lives off the grid, eats road kill, and is incubating an iguana egg in his empty eye socket.
There's also a police chief who would do the right thing if it wasn't for the Potussies; a Secret Service agent who takes a shine to Angie; a vengeful poacher who lost his hand to an alligator; Kiki Pew's entitled sons, who can't wait to spend their inheritance; and more.
Humor permeates the narrative, the lampooning of Trump is spot on, and the hoity-toity Potussies are priceless.
Rating: 3.5 stars
This book is in my to-read pile at present! I love Hiaasen's stories! (<---born and raised in Florida)
ReplyDeleteI love Hiaasen's books too. And he's an ardent environmentalist. 😊🌹💚
ReplyDelete