Humorist David Sedaris rummages through his life to compose the entertaining anecdotes in his books. Sedaris's stories range from his childhood, through his drug-hazed young adulthood, to his successful career as a writer and speaker.
Sedaris was brought up in a large family; had a varied higher education (he dropped out a lot); held an assortment of jobs; met his life-partner Hugh; traveled widely; lived in Europe; and met many memorable people.....and he writes about all of it.
David Sedaris
Among other essays in the book Sedaris writes about his father, who liked to hang around the house in his boxer shorts; was captivated by a boy he thought was 'a future Olympic swimmer' on David's pre-teen swim team; touted Donny Osmond as a role model; spanked David for refusing to stop singing 'Kookaburra' after bedtime; constantly put David down; nagged (adult) David to get a colonoscopy; and more.
As a child David was hurt by his father's incessant criticism and was convinced his dad would have preferred the prize-winning swimmer as a son. David also resented his mother for not interceding on his behalf, and constantly 'stirred the turd' - his mother's term for diverting negative attention to his siblings: too fat; gets bad grades; etc. David's stories about his family are funny, but also a little heart-breaking.
In other essays Sedaris talks about his compulsion to record everything in his diaries.....to the point he has no time to actually DO things; the people in France censuring Americans before the 2008 election, certain we wouldn't elect a black President; giving condoms and hotel shampoos to teens who come to his readings; his entire colonoscopy.....from the induced diarrhea before to the obligatory farting afterwards; 😁 and much more.
David Sedaris giving a reading
*****
Here are snippets from some stories I found especially amusing and/or memorable:
- Sedaris went to a taxidermy shop in London, looking for a stuffed owl to give his boyfriend Hugh for Valentine's Day. The store had a couple of owls, but not the one David really wanted: a barn owl with "a spooky white face like a satellite dish with eyes."
David Sedaris (right) with his boyfriend Hugh Hamrick
Barn owl
Sensing an interested customer, the shop owner brought out some "odd bits and pieces": a pygmy skeleton from a victim shot for sport; a man's hairy forearm, lost during a bar fight; and the 400-year-old head of an adolescent girl from South America. Afterwards, Sedaris mused, "The taxidermist....looked into my soul and recognized me for the person I really am: the type who’....could easily get over the fact that [the pygmy] had been murdered for sport, thinking breezily, Well, it was a long time ago.” 😏
Pygmies with a Caucasian man
*****
Before Sedaris takes a trip to a foreign country he tries to learn a little of the language using a Pimsleur Language Program. The humorist didn't have time for a Mandarin program prior to a jaunt to China, so he made do with a phrase book. The book was divided into chapters like Banking, Shopping, Border Crossing, etc.
One section, labeled 'Romance' had expressions like:
- Would you like a drink?
- You're a fantastic dancer.
- You look like a cousin of mine (which would only work if you're Asian....and is kind of creepy anyway 🙂).
A sub-section labeled 'Getting Closer' contained phrases like:
- I like you very much.
- Do you want a massage?
- I want you. How about going to bed?
Sedaris notes that the booklet didn't include the translation for "Leave the light on".....a MUST if you actually want to say any of these things. He pictures the vacationer naked on a bed squinting into his or her little book to moan, "Oh yeah! Easy tiger!".....and so on.
*****
Sedaris always chats with the people who come to his book signings, and advises that "the trick is to ask the right person the right question." One time a young woman stepped up to the table and David went blank, finally blurting out, "Uh....um....er.....when did you last touch a monkey?"
The gal took a step back, saying, "Oh. Can you smell it on me?" Turns out she worked for 'Helping Hands', an organization that teaches monkeys to assist paralyzed people. 😎
*****
When Sedaris visited China he was appalled by the sanitary conditions (or lack thereof). The Chinese people were constantly dredging up phlegm and spitting it out everywhere - on staircases, escalators, sidewalks, walls, and so on. If people weren't spitting they were coughing without covering their mouths or shooting wads of snot out of their noses. Over dinner one night, a woman acquaintance told David, "We Chinese think it's best to just get it out."
Another thing Sedaris noticed were the turds. Beijing had an "overwhelming amount of shit" - some from pets, but a lot from people. Chinese babies go without diapers, and - when they have to go - their parents direct them to the curb. One friend told David she saw a child go in the produce aisle of Walmart. To which David replied, "They have a Walmart here?" 😄
(I'm not sure I buy this story about China, which seems exaggerated.)
*****
At the end of the book Sedaris includes six monologues that teenagers can use for 'Forensics Competitions", in which participants memorize and deliver previously published short stories or essays.
Sedaris's 'forensics stories' are generally more sardonic than funny, but I got a few laughs.
In one story, a self-satisfied woman slowly reveals that she stole her newly paralyzed sister's husband and wed him at a grand affair; in a second tale, a man goes crazy when same-sex marriage is legalized, and murders his wife and daughter; and in a third monologue, a high school coed goes on a class trip to England and returns completely 'anglicized'.....with a British accent and a slew of britishisms. This story really IS funny.
I listened to the audiobook of 'Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls', narrated by David Sedaris, and found it very entertaining. I'd highly recommend the book to people who like humorous memoirs.
Rating: 4 stars
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