Barb's Book Reviews: Review of "Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am today" by Valerie Bertinelli

Sunday, November 14, 2021

Review of "Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am today" by Valerie Bertinelli

Valerie Bertinelli

Valerie Bertinelli has been in the limelight since her teens, when she starred in the popular sitcom 'One Day at a Time.' Valerie became even more famous when she wed Eddie Van Halen, co-founder of the American rock band Van Halen. Valerie went on to star in the sitcom 'Hot in Cleveland', and is now seen on the Food Channel, where she hosts the cooking show 'Valerie's Home Cooking' and is a judge on 'Kids Baking Championship.'

Valerie Bertinelli (center) in One Day at a Time with Bonnie Franklin (left) and Mackenzie Phillips (right)

Valerie Bertinelli married Eddie Van Halen

Valerie Bertinelli (center) in Hot in Cleveland with Jane Leeves (left) and Wendie Malick (right)

Valerie Bertinelli on Valerie's Home Cooking

Valerie Bertinelli with fellow judge Duff Goldman on Kids Baking Championship

Valerie's success - and prominent place in the public eye - came with a price, however, and she was always self-conscious about her weight. Valerie constantly felt the need to lose 10 pounds (or occasionally more), and was continually unhappy about her appearance. Valerie would compare her self-described hourglass figure to actresses she worked with, like Mackenzie Phillips on One Day at a Time, and Wendie Malick and Jane Leeves on Hot in Cleveland, and (in her own eyes) she came up short.

Now in her 60s, Valerie is tired of the self-doubt and she says 'enough already.' Valerie doesn't just talk about coming to terms with her weight though. She reminisces about her life, family, marriages, home, son, career, and more. Valerie also shares insights about achieving happiness and contentment in life.

Valerie Bertinelli is striving to be content

Sadly, Valerie touches on grief as well. Over the years Valerie lost her father and mother, and in 2020 she lost her best friend Eddie Van Halen. Though Valerie and Van Halen (who she calls Ed) divorced in 2005 - after twenty-five years of marriage - they remained very close, and Valerie deeply mourns Ed's passing.

Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen

Valerie met Ed when she was nineteen, and the attraction was instantaneous and mutual. The couple was portrayed as "a bad-boy rock star and America's sweetheart", but privately Ed was shy and Valerie was boisterous. Valerie believes she and Van Halen were soulmates and would have stayed together but for Ed's drinking and using drugs, which she calls "crazy, cliché eighties-style behavior."

Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen

Valerie and Ed had a son Wolfgang Van Halen (Wolfie) whom they both adored, and this kept the couple connected even after their divorce and remarriages to other people.

Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen with their baby Wolfie

Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen with their son Wolfie

Valerie writes about some of her fun experiences with Ed, how much she enjoyed cooking for him, and their ongoing (platonic) love. Valerie also touches on Ed's decades-long battle with cancer and his death in the hospital, surrounded by loved ones. Even now, Valerie still feels connected to Ed.....if only in her dreams.

Valerie is buoyed by her son Wolfie, who followed his father into the music business.

Wolfgang Van Halen

Valerie and Wolfie are close, and Valerie enjoys lavishing her delicious culinary creations on Wolfie and his girlfriend Andraia. Valerie first learned to cook from her Nonnie, aunt, and other women in her family, and often thinks about their cappelletti in brodo, gnocchi, and homemade bread.

Capelletti in Brodo

Gnocchi

Homemade Italian Bread

After Valerie married Ed, she learned southeast Asian recipes from Ed's Indonesian mother, who taught Valerie how to prepare Bami Goreng and Ketjap Sambal. Now of course, Valerie creates her own recipes for her television show.

Bami Goreng

Ketjap Sambai (dipping sauce)

From the outside looking in Valerie seemed to have had a very successful life. When Valerie hit 60 though, she felt she wasn't really happy. Writing about that time, she says, "I feel like I have neglected myself while spending my entire life doing what I think will please everybody else. Publicly, I have pretended to be the bubbly, upbeat, all-American girl everybody wants to believe I am, but in private I have rarely thought of myself as anything but a failure." And Valerie decided to do something about it.

In public, Valerie always appeared cheerful and happy

With the help of a mind coach, Valerie was able to learn how to deal with emotional pain without using food as a crutch. And she learned to see happiness not as an end goal, but as something to strive for every day. Valerie had her epiphany during the Covie-19 pandemic, so much of her healing had to be done alone.

Valerie describes things she does to improve her mood as follows: [When] I get anxious I go for a walk. I have tea. I page through magazines. I read. After a while, I pour myself a glass of wine, sit outside, and try to meditate. By then, I am definitely calmer, but still engaged in a debate with my more insecure, critical self, that asks, 'Why didn't I go on a diet and lose five pounds? Or ten?' Valerie then endeavors to silence those voices, assuring herself that her family and fans love her no matter what. And she tries to find joy, happiness and gratitude over and over again, every day.

Some of Valerie's tips are: tidy your mind; exercise; eat lots of fruits and vegetables; be kind; try new things; laugh loudly and often; be grateful; love; and more.

Valerie Bertinelli at home

Valerie include lots of personal anecdotes in the book, such as a description of a wonderful trip to Italy with her second husband Tom Vitale;

Valerie Bertinelli and her second husband Tom Vitale

attending Van Halen concerts to watch Ed (then Ed and Wolfie) play;

Young Eddie Van Halen performing

Eddie Van Halen and Wolfgang Van Halen performing together

spending time with her mother;

Valerie Bertinelli with her mother

writing her cookbook;

Valerie Bertinelli's cookbook

watching football on TV; taping her cooking show; being a Jenny Craig spokesperson; enjoying her pets; rebuilding her beach house; watching cat videos on TikTok;

Valerie Bertinelli likes cats and cat videos on TikTok

listening to Wolfie's new songs; grieving Ed's death; splitting from Tom; and much more.

Valerie Bertinelli loves listening to her son Wolfie's music

Valerie's narrative is a bit meandering and repetitive, but it shows her to be a lovely, modest, caring woman who wants to help others by sharing her experiences. I think many people would find inspiration in this book.

Valerie loves to cook and includes a smattering of recipes in the book. Some of the dishes are:

Hot Spinach and Crab Dip

Lasagna

Sicilian Chocolate Love Cake

Tuna Egg Salad Melts

Upside-Down Citrus Cake

Thanks to Netgalley, Valerie Bertinelli, and Mariner Books for a copy of the book.

Rating: 3.5 stars

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Barb's Book Reviews

Sunday, November 14, 2021

Review of "Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am today" by Valerie Bertinelli

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