Jennifer Finney Boylan is an American author, transgender activist, professor at Barnard College, and a contributing opinion writer for the New York Times.
Jennifer Finney Boylan
Jennifer was born James Boylan in 1958, and lived life as a male for 42 years before transitioning to female. Jennifer has written many books, both novels and autobiographical books.
In this memoir Jennifer connects events in her life to the dogs she owned over the years. The canines were a mixed bunch both in appearance and personality, and Jennifer tells us about their dispositions, behavior, and 'thoughts' - which range from hilarious to poignant.
I was touched, for example, by an orphaned black lab named Chloe who went home with Jennifer for an overnight try-out. Jennifer writes, "Chloe spent hours that first day going to every corner, sniffing things out. At the end of the day she sat down by the fireplace and gave me a look. 'If you wanted', she said, 'I would stay with you.' And Chloe stayed. 🙂
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James Boylan grew up in Pennsylvania with his parents and older sister Cyndy, and knew from childhood that he was different than other boys. When James' folks enrolled him in Haverford High School, which was all male, he said he didn't want to go because he'd miss his friends. The real reason, as the author recalls "was not one that I could speak out loud. I could barely even whisper it to myself, because who could want the thing that I wanted?"
During James' boyhood, the family dog was a Dalmatian named 'Playboy', who disliked everyone but James' dad Richard, who would roll on the floor with Playboy and rub his belly.
Playboy was "a resentful hoodlum" who chased motorcycles, bit people, and left piles of poop in the living room - which James' infinitely patient mother Hildegarde cleaned up. Nevertheless Playboy deigned to accompany James into his 'ROBOTRON 9000 THE ANSER MACHINE' (sic), made from a refrigerator box. There James would sit, waiting to answer questions submitted on index cards, rather than going out to play like other boys.
James felt 'wrong' and thought the only strategy for getting by was to "just try to make the best of things" because, back then, he couldn't imagine how a person would change. Thus James had male friends and did boy things, and the book contains memorable stories from those days. For instance, one time, as James and his friend Lloyd were chasing Playboy through the woods, they came upon an old milk house where lesbians were kissing.....a fascinating sight to the young boys.
On his eleventh birthday James acquired a Dalmatian puppy named Penny, and his sister Cyndy got a Dalmatian puppy named Chloe. Penny "had a hunger that could not be assuaged", ate her food and Chloe's, and was soon "the size and shape of a beer keg", which resulted in her being nicknamed Sausage.
James dearly loved Penny, but she only tolerated him in return. The author writes, "I figured if I kept being sweet to Penny all the time, eventually her heart would open, and she would love me as I loved her. No one told me this is never how it works."
A few years later, the family moved to a haunted house in Devon, Pennsylvania (which is the subject of another book). In Devon James inner comedian emerged, to the endless delight of his sister. Cyndy would invite over her cool friends, and James would do impressions of celebrities, play the piano, make up songs, imitate people, and make everyone laugh. Being a teen by now James got crushes on girls, but they didn't like him back 'that way.' James may have been laughing on the outside, but was unhappy on the inside, and - before he transitioned - contemplated suicide more than once.
By the time James was a student at Wesleyan College, his parents had acquired 'Matt the Mutt', who whizzed on walls and humped everything in sight.
On one occasion, James' father came home from work and Matt the Mutt created a ruckus and pissed on his dad's briefcase. The author writes, "Nooooo, says my mother. My father reaches for his briefcase, but he gets dog piss on his hand, and now Dad is yelling and my mother is shouting and Matt the Mutt is barking some more and leaping into the air"....and Penny the Dalmatian is upstairs philosophizing about the whole business.
James admits to not always being the most sensitive dog owner vis a vis Penny, but forgiveness may be in order because of James' immaturity and troubled youth.
James always had a loving extended family and the author includes many anecdotes about them. At a Thanksgiving dinner, for instance, Gammie whipped out the fake boob she wore since her mastectomy.......
…….and Matt the Mutt energetically humped Aunt Gertrude's leg.
When James was a young man he had romances with girls, but remained essentially unfulfilled. The author writes, "Something in me had already been trained to think of myself as fundamentally undeserving of love, and in years to come when women would say Je t'aime or it's equivalent, my first reaction was to think, Yeah, well. That's only because you don't know me well enough."
By 1985 James was living with his girlfriend Rachel in New York City. The author recalls, "Even now it still seemed possible that I might be somebody different, if only I were loved deeply enough." Rachel didn't like dogs, but James' parents now had a chocolate lab called Brown.
James hoped the dog would turn out to be sane - unlike the family's previous pooches - but no such luck. Brown chewed her own paws, a condition called 'lick granuloma.' The author notes, "I'd seen dogs who had this problem before, of course, dogs who start in on their paws and wind up obsessed and deranged, as if their paws are the dog equivalent of right-wing talk radio."
By now James' father's was very ill with cancer and James was preparing to attend graduate school at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. James hoped this would be a "not dishonorable' way of getting out of the relationship [with Rachel] without having to actually break up." The author admits to slipping into a wig store when Rachel was away and notes, "It wasn't her fault that I'd decided that I could not be myself with her. But then, if I'd shared my heart with Rachel, what would she have said?"
When James got to Johns Hopkins, he embarked on a series of affairs with women, observing, "I think one reason I had all these serial affairs was that the moment a woman got close to me, I realized I had to either tell her the truth about my bifurcated soul or else just have a relationship based on a lie."
During that time James visited his family in Devon frequently, as his father got sicker and Brown continued to 'jones for her paws.' But when James needed comfort, Brown put her soft face in his lap and suggested "You are not nothing. No one is nothing, if they know love."
Almost a decade later, in 1993, James was married to a woman named Dierdre Finney and living in Maine. By now James had published a book, was teaching at Colby College, and had inherited a Gordon Setter named Alex from his friend Zero.
Alex
Talking about being married, the author writes, "I cannot explain how Deirdre got through to me when so many other women had not. All I can say is that I loved her more deeply than anyone I had ever known.....But I did not open my heart to her entirely." James and Dierdre shared a deep love for the Gordon Setter Alex, who was indeed a good boy.
Afterwards, in 1999, James and Dierdre got another dog called Lucy - a (sort of) Golden Retriever.
Lucy
Lucy was there for the birth of James and Dierdre's two sons Zach and Sean. However, since Lucy spent her first months on a heavenly (to her) pig farm, she was never content in the Boylan family home. In fact, Zach wrote a paper for grade school entitled "Our Dog Hates Us.
On one occasion, when Dierdre and the boys were away, James received a package from Frederick's of Hollywood. James went upstairs to get dressed and when he came downstairs - with make up, dress, wig, and high heels - Lucy the dog stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up. James asked Lucy, "Do you want to go for a walk?" And the dog lifted her head, uncertain, and thought, "That's what you're wearing?"
Soon afterward James confided in Dierdre about his true nature, and transitioned to Jennifer (which is the subject of another book).
James Boylan transitioned to Jennifer Finney Boylan
Jennifer Finney Boylan (right) and her wife Deirdre
In 2005, after Lucy was gone, Jennifer, Deirdre, and the boys - now nine and eleven - decided to get another dog. Jennifer suggested a bloodhound; Dierdre suggested a rescue dog; Zach suggested a pug; and Sean wanted a puppy. The family finally settled on a black lab puppy, and called it Ranger.
When little Ranger was about to pee on the kitchen floor, Jennifer scooped him up to dash outside, and tripped on the stairs from the deck to the ground. Jennifer writes, "The three-month-old puppy fell out of my grasp, and he traveled through space, rotating gently until he landed. I crashed to the earth a second later, right on my rib cage." Seconds later the family rushed outside, right past Jennifer to the puppy.
"Is he okay?" Deirdre shouted.
"Ranger, are you all right?" the boys asked.
Then they happily reported to Jennifer, who was laying there like a dead thing, "Don't worry, Ranger's fine." 🙂
The family survived Jennifer's transition, but it wasn't easy - largely because of fears the outside world would react with violence and cruelty. However, the family was bound together with at least two things: Jennifer's homemade pizza and Ranger.
Jennifer Boylan with her wife Deirdre and their sons Zach and Sean
"Having a father who became a woman helped make my sons into better men. It taught them kindness; it taught them the importance of being yourself; it taught them to stick up for the underdog."
By 2017, Zach and Sean were grown and gone, and Chloe the black lab was part of Jennifer and Deirdre's household.
At this time the family headed to New York City, where Jennifer would join the faculty of Barnard College. More surprises were in store for the Finney-Boylan clan, and - as always - their mutual love helped them move forward together.
I've provided a taste of the book's contents, but there are many more stories, which range from sad and touching, to uplifting and encouraging, to uproarious and laugh-out-out loud funny. A takeaway from the book is that life is better when you share your love with friends, family, and dogs.
My major criticism of the book would be that the author jumps around in time, so the story isn't strictly chronological. This is confusing at times, and seems like an unnecessary complication.
Overall I enjoyed the book and highly recommend it to interested readers.
You can find interviews with Jennifer Finney Boylan online, as well as her TED talk and other videos.
Thanks to Celadon Books and Jennifer Finney Boylan for a copy of the book.
Rating: 4 stars
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