Most of this tragicomic novel is composed of phone conversations between Miami high school senior Luciana Domínguez.....
.....and her sister Mari, a sophomore at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. We only 'hear' Luciana's side of the conversation, interspersed with occasional remarks to or from other people.
The phone conversations tell us a lot about Luciana and her family, who come from Colombia.
Luciana has been an indifferent student since freshman year, and now worries she won't get into college. She's attracted to girls, and recalls the scene when she came out to her mother: "[Mom] literally threw herself on the floor, grabbed my foot, and started stomping on her own neck with it saying. WHO. YOU. ARE. IS. KILLING. ME."
Luciana is a little overweight, and her mother Elena - who's well-meaning but annoying - constantly advocates exercise and a better diet. Luciana has never had a romantic relationship; has a gay best friend called Nico; and in many ways, is the steel center of the family.
As the story opens, it's September 2017 and Hurricane Irma is threatening Florida. Luciana and her mother are preparing to evacuate, and Luciana tells Mari that Dad has to stay in Miami to work.....
.....and Abue (grandma) can't be convinced to evacuate with them, no matter how much Luciana and her mother cajole, beg, persuade, and bribe the septuagenarian.
After some back and forth talk about Abue's safety, Luciana tells Mari, "FINE. Then just call and confess that she needs to evacuate so you don't feel guilty over not being home. THERE. I SAID IT..... We were invisible to you until Irma found us. But now you desperately need Abue to stay safe, so you don't have to come back or feel guilty if something happens."
This exchange presages Mari's ongoing behavior, which is to put her sorority sisters and college activities ahead of the family at every turn, much to Luciana's anger and dismay.
We learn that 75-year old Abue is determined to be seen as glamorous, beautiful, and affluent at all times. Abue had plastic surgery on her face, boobs, and butt; insists on always having perfect hair and makeup; dresses provocatively; has lots of boyfriends; puts her Publix groceries into Whole Foods bags to fool the neighbors; and wouldn't let the plumber fix her broken toilet for a month, because she'd dyed her hair the wrong color and was waiting for it to grow out.
In any case, Luciana and her mother flee from the hurricane and have an adventurous trip. Along the way they stop at the home of Cousin Susana, and Luciana tells Mari, "The second we got in, Mom started just randomly telling Susana about how she doesn't agree with the IUD treatment that my doctor suggested for my endometriosis....But she kept calling the IUD a DUI. And Susana's face was getting more and more worried, as Mom started walking around saying: Luciana's DUI this! And Luciana's DUI that!" (Afterwards, Luciana had to explain she wasn't an alcoholic.)
When the hurricane danger passes, Luciana and Elena return to Miami and are shocked to find Abue sick and jaundiced in her apartment. It seems Abue refused to evacuate because she was (secretly) feeling ill.
This starts the more serious part of the novel, where Abue is found to have a tumor that requires surgery and ongoing medical care. The narrative from this point on is both sober and amusing. For instance, the doctor tells the family "The surgery is going to be high risk....the tumor is beginning to obstruct her functions....this mass might be malignant....she will likely need chemo....etc." The diagnosis is devastating, and Luciana - who's especially close to her grandmother - makes herself the advocate for Abue, and looks out for Abue's best interests.
The family doesn't tell Abue how serious her condition is, and Abue walks around the hospital like a peacock strutting her feathers up and down the halls. The nurses think Abue is perfectly fine and hilarious, and Luciana tells Mari, "The only person that understands the situation at hand is this Haitian nurse named Junior. He loves to discuss astrology, and practice his Spanish with her. And he knows that Abue's performance is one whole long con. Junior even calls her 'diosa' (goddess) whenever he walks in 'Hola hola, diosa. How is my diosa goddess today'....She probably thinks the tumor is worth it....just for that."
Be that as it may, Abue needs home care between hospital stays, and she's installed in the Domínguez household, in Luciana's room. Abue's sister Luisa - whom Abue hates and hasn't seen in decades - volunteers to come help.
Luisa's visit provides some of the more revealing moments in the book. For example, we hear that Abue threatened to throw Luisa out the window if she ever actually came to visit; Abue tried to change her phone number when Luisa called to say happy birthday; and Abue insists Luisa planted the tumor decades ago...probably as a favor to their crooked mother.
The sibling visit doesn't actually go that badly, and it leads to revelations about Abue's early life in Colombia, which was difficult and sad.
The story moseys along through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and on into the next year, during which time Luciana takes care of Abue, and Abue reciprocates with affection and encouragement for Luciana. Luciana grows more confident as she finishes high school; plans for her future; tussles with Mari; and occasionally grabs Nico and goes to Ladies' Night - a club with a cute bartender.
I wouldn't call this a comic novel, but it has plenty of light moments in the midst of the drama. A fine debut, dedicated to all grandmothers.
Thanks to Netgalley, Melissa Mogollon, and Random House for a copy of the book.
Rating: 3.5 stars
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