Billy Porter
Billy Porter (b. 1969) is a multitalented American entertainer whose work includes Broadway shows, movies, television programs, nightclub performances, benefits, and more. In the course of his career, Porter won Star Search, received a Tony Award, an Emmy Award, and a Grammy Award; and was awarded many other honors.
I became aware of Billy Porter when he played the character 'Pray Tell' on the TV series 'Pose' (2018 - 2021). In the show, Pray Tell is an emcee in New York City's underground ballroom culture of the late 1980s and early 1990s, where gay and trans individuals dressed up in elaborate costumes and competed in different categories on a runway.
Billy Porter as 'Pray Tell' in the television series 'Pose'
Scenes from the television series 'Pose'
In an interview, Porter noted that his life is similar to that of the Pray Tell character in some ways, since they're both HIV+ and were equally ostracized by their church for being gay. This is more or less where Porter begins his memoir, noting that, as a child in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he was a 'sissy boy' who liked to jump rope, play hopscotch, play jacks, try on his aunt's pretty shoes, and so on.
Young Billy Porter
Sissy boy Billy was bullied at school, and also had troubles at home. Billy's father deserted the family early on, and Billy lived with his mother, grandmother, and several aunts. Billy's mother Cloerinda was very religious, and - concerned about her son's feminine tendencies - sent Billy to a doctor to be 'fixed.' The doctor suggested Billy needed a man around, to teach him to be more masculine, and Cloerinda soon married her second husband, Mr. Bernie Ford - who turned out to be a decidedly mixed blessing.
Billy Porter and his mother Cloerinda
Bernie taught Billy how to hammer nails, mow the grass, change a tire, rake leaves, shovel snow, use tools, defend himself against bullies, and more. Young Billy saw this as 'man lessons', so when Bernie began climbing into 7-year-old Billy's bed and molesting him, Billy thought these were more 'man lessons.' The abuse went on until Billy was 12, when his Pentecostal preacher's constant exhortations against homosexuality made Billy fear he would burn in hell. Billy put a stop to the hanky panky, but like all abused children, he was already scarred for life. Later, fearing for his half-sister Mary Martha, Billy outed Bernie to Cloerinda.
Billy Porter with his half-sister Mary Martha
Dual imperatives influenced Billy's life after his. Billy wanted to avoid being at home, and by the seventh grade, was deeply involved with performing arts at school. Billy was a talented singer and took advantage of every opportunity that came his way. He writes, "I became practiced at the art of charting my own path. I understood very young that, at virtually all times, I needed to be figuring out the next five moves I had to make in order to survive and thrive."
Billy signed up for myriad extracurricular activities and after school programs and got himself admitted to Pittsburgh's 'Creative and Performing Arts High School' (CAPA). Billy observes about CAPA, "It was as if I'd found my tribe. It was a pure joy. CAPA was filled with the misfits and future faggots of America, and it felt I was home." From CAPA, Billy went on to the famed 'Carnegie Mellon University School of Drama' (CMU), where his classmates were some of the most talented people he'd ever met.
Billy Porter at Carnegie Mellon University School of Drama
Porter describes the numerous opportunities he found for himself, inside and outside school. Billy went on auditions; performed in shows; took acting, dancing, voice; and writing lessons; and more. Unfortunately, Billy was often stymied by being Black because many productions had limited room for (what Porter calls) "chocolate chips."
Porter was lucky in some ways because, starting as a schoolboy, Billy met many 'angels' who helped him in his life and career. Porter mentions Mr. Lutz - his music teacher; Mr. Highland - his gym teacher; Joe Franze - artistic director of the Pittsburgh Civic Light Opera; Judy Nowe - artistic director of the Center for Theater Arts; Billy Hartung, a friend whose parents drove Billy home from evening dance classes for two years; Billy Wilson - a director/choreographer; Suzi Dietz - a theater producer; etc. Porter pays it forward by taking part in benefits, donating to a vast range of causes, and reaching out to as many fans as possible, "especially the little sissy Black boys and trans kids all over the world.
Billy Porter
While Billy was making strides towards his future career, he was being trammeled by pastors and parishioners who sensed Billy was 'different.' The preacher at Billy's church used his bully pulpit to curse homosexuals as an abomination, and churchgoers harangued Cloerinda with criticisms of her son, and exhortations to abandon him. Porter notes, "I felt like I had a scarlet S on my chest that screamed sissy sinner. I would become so enraged every time I had to sit quietly in the pews while every single pastor, preacher, minister, missionary, evangelist, and prophetess condemned "the homosexuals" as an abomination to be cast into the pits of hell for all eternity, and said that AIDS was God's punishment for choosing that sinful lifestyle."
An AIDS victim
This was especially hurtful because many of Porter's friends and colleagues were AIDS victims. Porter recalls, "Folks would silently just dissipate, dissolve, disappear - and soon fade from the memory of those of us left behind. It ws too much to hold, too traumatizing to internalize."
Eventually, all this led to Porter abandoning the church and cutting off his Pittsburgh community, who preached hatred rather than love. Like Bernie's molestation, the church's cruelty did long-lasting harm. In time, Porter had to have serious therapy, to enable him to have real relationships, especially with Black men. Porter says, "Black men were a danger to me. It was a Black man who abused me. Black men hated the sissy...Black rap artists made money off their hatred of gay people...and Black comedians were worse."
Porter's many auditions netted some jobs and a good many nos, but he was persistent. Finally, in 1990, when Porter was 21, he was cast in the Broadway company of 'Miss Saigon', and he was on his way. Porter writes, "I did it. I survived my childhood. I got out!....I moved to New York with every intention of being a star....I just knew my little faggoty ass was poised for stardom."
Porter got his next big job in 1992, in a Broadway show called 'Five Guys Named Moe.' Porter was the understudy for three roles, and he describes the understudy's job as follows: We're the artists who wait in the wings, literally eight shows a week, prepared and on call to step into any of our assigned roles at a moment's notice.....My training and my craft had prepared me for the moment."
Porter writes a good bit about his acting/singing roles, records, television appearances, and other work, but his ascent to the top was anything but smooth.
Billy Porter in 'The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy' (2000)
Sissy boy Billy was bullied at school, and also had troubles at home. Billy's father deserted the family early on, and Billy lived with his mother, grandmother, and several aunts. Billy's mother Cloerinda was very religious, and - concerned about her son's feminine tendencies - sent Billy to a doctor to be 'fixed.' The doctor suggested Billy needed a man around, to teach him to be more masculine, and Cloerinda soon married her second husband, Mr. Bernie Ford - who turned out to be a decidedly mixed blessing.
Billy Porter and his mother Cloerinda
Bernie taught Billy how to hammer nails, mow the grass, change a tire, rake leaves, shovel snow, use tools, defend himself against bullies, and more. Young Billy saw this as 'man lessons', so when Bernie began climbing into 7-year-old Billy's bed and molesting him, Billy thought these were more 'man lessons.' The abuse went on until Billy was 12, when his Pentecostal preacher's constant exhortations against homosexuality made Billy fear he would burn in hell. Billy put a stop to the hanky panky, but like all abused children, he was already scarred for life. Later, fearing for his half-sister Mary Martha, Billy outed Bernie to Cloerinda.
Billy Porter with his half-sister Mary Martha
Dual imperatives influenced Billy's life after his. Billy wanted to avoid being at home, and by the seventh grade, was deeply involved with performing arts at school. Billy was a talented singer and took advantage of every opportunity that came his way. He writes, "I became practiced at the art of charting my own path. I understood very young that, at virtually all times, I needed to be figuring out the next five moves I had to make in order to survive and thrive."
Billy signed up for myriad extracurricular activities and after school programs and got himself admitted to Pittsburgh's 'Creative and Performing Arts High School' (CAPA). Billy observes about CAPA, "It was as if I'd found my tribe. It was a pure joy. CAPA was filled with the misfits and future faggots of America, and it felt I was home." From CAPA, Billy went on to the famed 'Carnegie Mellon University School of Drama' (CMU), where his classmates were some of the most talented people he'd ever met.
Billy Porter at Carnegie Mellon University School of Drama
Porter describes the numerous opportunities he found for himself, inside and outside school. Billy went on auditions; performed in shows; took acting, dancing, voice; and writing lessons; and more. Unfortunately, Billy was often stymied by being Black because many productions had limited room for (what Porter calls) "chocolate chips."
Porter was lucky in some ways because, starting as a schoolboy, Billy met many 'angels' who helped him in his life and career. Porter mentions Mr. Lutz - his music teacher; Mr. Highland - his gym teacher; Joe Franze - artistic director of the Pittsburgh Civic Light Opera; Judy Nowe - artistic director of the Center for Theater Arts; Billy Hartung, a friend whose parents drove Billy home from evening dance classes for two years; Billy Wilson - a director/choreographer; Suzi Dietz - a theater producer; etc. Porter pays it forward by taking part in benefits, donating to a vast range of causes, and reaching out to as many fans as possible, "especially the little sissy Black boys and trans kids all over the world.
Billy Porter
While Billy was making strides towards his future career, he was being trammeled by pastors and parishioners who sensed Billy was 'different.' The preacher at Billy's church used his bully pulpit to curse homosexuals as an abomination, and churchgoers harangued Cloerinda with criticisms of her son, and exhortations to abandon him. Porter notes, "I felt like I had a scarlet S on my chest that screamed sissy sinner. I would become so enraged every time I had to sit quietly in the pews while every single pastor, preacher, minister, missionary, evangelist, and prophetess condemned "the homosexuals" as an abomination to be cast into the pits of hell for all eternity, and said that AIDS was God's punishment for choosing that sinful lifestyle."
An AIDS victim
This was especially hurtful because many of Porter's friends and colleagues were AIDS victims. Porter recalls, "Folks would silently just dissipate, dissolve, disappear - and soon fade from the memory of those of us left behind. It ws too much to hold, too traumatizing to internalize."
Eventually, all this led to Porter abandoning the church and cutting off his Pittsburgh community, who preached hatred rather than love. Like Bernie's molestation, the church's cruelty did long-lasting harm. In time, Porter had to have serious therapy, to enable him to have real relationships, especially with Black men. Porter says, "Black men were a danger to me. It was a Black man who abused me. Black men hated the sissy...Black rap artists made money off their hatred of gay people...and Black comedians were worse."
Porter's many auditions netted some jobs and a good many nos, but he was persistent. Finally, in 1990, when Porter was 21, he was cast in the Broadway company of 'Miss Saigon', and he was on his way. Porter writes, "I did it. I survived my childhood. I got out!....I moved to New York with every intention of being a star....I just knew my little faggoty ass was poised for stardom."
Porter got his next big job in 1992, in a Broadway show called 'Five Guys Named Moe.' Porter was the understudy for three roles, and he describes the understudy's job as follows: We're the artists who wait in the wings, literally eight shows a week, prepared and on call to step into any of our assigned roles at a moment's notice.....My training and my craft had prepared me for the moment."
Porter writes a good bit about his acting/singing roles, records, television appearances, and other work, but his ascent to the top was anything but smooth.
Billy Porter in 'The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy' (2000)
Billy Porter on 'Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit' (2013)
Billy Porter in Taylor Swifts 'You Need to Calm Down' music video (2016)
Billy Porter and Emma Roberts in 'American Horror Story' (2018)
Billy Porter in Cinderella (2021)
Billy Porter performing at the State Theatre in Minneapolis (2023)
Porter describes confrontations with producers, agents, managers, directors, actors, homophobes, etc. Porter didn't hesitate to stand up for himself, argue his point, fire people, etc., and one has to admire his grit....and humor! For example, when Porter's manager calls him out for casually mentioning a vacation in the Hamptons (a gay-friendly venue), Billy is infuriated. He writes, "And now, judging from this conversation with my soon-to-be former manager, my every move was under some sort of out-the-faggot surveillance.....So when Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Puffy Pouffy, or whatever he's calling himself these days spends time in the Hamptons, he's an entrepreneur, but when I go I'm just a faggot!?"
Despite Porter's obvious talent and drive, there were times when he couldn't get work, and his career languished. Porter describes the 'worst year of his life', 2007, when he was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes (hereditary), filed for bankruptcy, and learned he was HIV+. Luckily, anti-viral drugs were available by this time, and Porter chose to keep his diagnosis secret for 14 years.
Porter's biggest break may have been landing the role of the Black drag queen, Lola, in the 2012 Broadway musical 'Kinky Boots' - about a shoe-factory owner who has to start making shoes for drag queens to stay afloat. (I saw the 2005 movie version, with Chiwetel Ejiofor, which is great.)
Porter won a Tony Award for his performance, and went on to additional successes.
Billy Porter in 'Kinky Boots'
Towards the end of the book, Porter writes a little about his husband Adam Smith (they subsequently divorced).
Billy Porter and his husband Adam Smith
Porter also lambasts gospel singer/preacher Kim Burrell (a former LGBTQ favorite) for a vicious homophobic rant in 2016. This time there were consequences: Burrell lost her radio show; her appearance on 'Ellen' was cancelled; and many celebrities condemned her hate speech. (Burrell later apologized and tried to build bridges.) Porter also airs his views about the "Orangina" so and so who 'cares nothing for the people; would rather we die than wear a mask during the pandemic; advocates injecting bleach to kill the Corona virus; and refuses to admit defeat.' (You know who he means.)
Billy includes a discussion of the television series 'Pose', for which he won an Emmy Award, and talks about some of the avant garde fashion choices that got him tapped to be the ambassador for the 'Council of American Fashion Designers.'
Billy Porter is a fashion icon
Porter concludes by noting, "My story was not just about overcoming adversity - my life is a testimony to the power that art has to heal trauma."
In penning this memoir, Porter speaks truth to power, and bravely discloses the traumas inflicted on him by a racist and intolerant society. To Porter's credit, his drive and talent overcame the obstacles in his path, and provided his fans with an entertaining body of work.
Billy Porter at the 2020 Critics' Choice Awards
I had the written book and the audiobook, narrated by the author, which was a treat. My major quibble with the narrative is that it jumps around in time, which I found a little disorienting. Still, this is a very good memoir.
Rating: 4.5 stars
No comments:
Post a Comment