Saturday, April 12, 2025

Review of "A Farewell To Arfs: A Chet and Bernie Mystery" by Spencer Quinn



In this 15th book in the 'Chet and Bernie' series, the detective team investigates a financial scam.

*****

In the Chet and Bernie stories, Bernie Little and his hundred-plus pound dog Chet are partners in the Little Detective Agency in Arizona.



Bernie is a West Point graduate, former police officer, and good at his PI job. Sartorially, Bernie is a fan of Hawaiian shirts, which are loose enough to hide a gun when Bernie's carrying.



Chet is Bernie's invaluable partner, always ready to clamp his jaw on perps and drag them off by the pants.



The books are narrated by Chet, whose somewhat limited vocabulary, unfamiliarity with idioms, and doggie logic set the stage for plenty of smiles.

Bernie and Chet's next door neighbors, Daniel and Edna Parsons, are an elderly couple with a dog named Iggy. Bernie helps out the Parsons from time to time and one of those times is at the core of this story.



Mr. Parsons gets a call from his ex-convict son Billy, who's currently a director at ProCon, an NGO that helps former convicts get back on their feet. Billy asks his dad to loan him two thousand dollars for a few days, to fix a temporary payroll problem.



Mr. Parsons is proud Billy turned his life around, and is happy to lend his son the two grand. But when Mr. Parsons checks his bank account the next morning, ALL his money is gone, the entire $47,600. Bernie and Chet take Mr. Parsons to the bank, where they consult a bank manager called Ms. Mendez.



With gentle questioning, Ms. Mendez learns that Mr. Parsons is not familiar with online money transfers, and he gave Billy his password and banking number. One minute later ALL the funds were gone from Mr. Parsons' account, and the cash can't be traced.



Mr. Parsons can't believe his son would steal more than 45 thousand dollars from him, and Bernie and Chet set out to find Billy and see what happened.



Unfortunately, Billy seems to have vanished! Billy's live-in girlfriend doesn't know where he is, and Billy's secretary speculates her boss went off to help an ex-con having a hard time, as he's done before.



The plot thickens, and tragedy strikes, before this swindle is resolved.

In an adjacent storyline, Bernie recently got engaged to his girlfriend, police officer Weatherly Wauneka. When Bernie happens to hear that a perp gave Weatherly a hard time, his masculine hormones kick in, and Bernie races off to rough up the thug.



This infuriates Weatherly, who can fight her own battles, thank you very much!!



Worse yet, the subsequent 'police brutality' charges get Weatherly suspended by the new district attorney - an arrogant woman with an agenda. Will this mishap end Bernie and Weatherly's engagement? Time will tell.

For me, the plot of this novel is too convoluted, but I still enjoyed the book, especially Chet's narration. I'll include a couple of examples of Chet's amusing remarks.

➤ Mr. Parsons is speaking to the banker, Ms. Mendez, and says, "Just let me get my ducks lined up."



Hearing this, Chet observes: Would it be true to say that I was totally on top of things up to this point? No. But no way was I expecting ducks. Where were they? I didn't have to look around for ducks. They have a very distinctive smell - a sort of combo of down pillows and an oven getting opened on Thanksgiving morning - and there wasn't a trace of it here.

➤ When Bernie and Chet are passing a block with self-storage units, Chet notes: A very bothersome fact is that one of those self-storage units is ours. You'll never guess what's inside so I'll tell you. Hawaiian pants stacked floor to ceiling. balled up on shelves, hanging from wall hooks. Hawaiian pants are just like Hawaiian shirts, except for being pants. A lot of guys, Bernie included, love Hawaiian shirts, but it turns out that none, not even one lone dude, loves Hawaiian pants. I still remember the moment Bernie snapped his fingers and said, 'Hawaiian pants! Chet! We're rich! After that a whole boatload of Hawaiian pants arrived....and we didn't sell a single pair.

 


This worries Chet because it contributes to the Little Detective Agency's constant financial problems.



This is a fun mystery and a must-read for fans of the series.

 Rating: 3.5 stars

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