Review of "Telephone: A Novel" by Percival Everett

 

Percival Everett is an eclectic writer whose work spans a variety of genres. Everett's 2020 novel 'Telephone' was published in three versions which are almost identical except for the endings. After reading 'version A' I looked up the other endings, which I like better. Everett's experiment was undertaken to generate discussion of the book, which apparently worked. On to my review......

*****

Professor Zach Wells is an African-American paleobiologist and geologist at a university in Altadena, California.



Wells' research centers on ancient birds that once lived in Naught's Cave, a grotto high in the wall of the Grand Canyon.



Wells collects bird bones from the cave's rat middens.....



......and his findings include things like:

"Falco mexicanos: Four bones of this species indicate at least three individuals, an adult, a male-sized immature, and a female-sized immature. It should be noted, that of the larger falcons, this species, which nests on cliffs, is most frequently found in southwestern archaeological sites."


Falco mexicanos

Wells doesn't think being Black has held him back, though he makes observations like: "For all I know I may not have gotten several grants because of racist panelists. I just don't know. I crawl into caves and find fossils and then identify them. I am a scientist. I should probably be more political in my thinking and dealings with the school. But I'm not."



Zach refers to his himself as dull and boring, but says he's a devoted family man. Zach and his wife Meg, an English professor and poet, both dearly love their clever, funny, twelve-year-old daughter Sarah.



Zach taught Sarah to play chess, and she always beats him these days, so it's odd when Sarah makes a bad move.



It turns out, Sarah is experiencing vision problems, and a series of doctor visits - to an optometrist, pediatrician, ophthalmologist, pediatric ophthalmologist, and pediatric neurologist - cause the family increasing anxiety.



Finally, Zach and Meg are devastated to learn Sarah has Batten Disease - an incurable genetic disorder that leads to seizures, vision loss, problems with thinking and movement, and early death. Sarah is allowed to believe she has epilepsy, but her condition inevitably deteriorates over the course of the story.

In the midst of their sorrow, Zach and Meg take Sarah to Paris, to give her a wonderful experience while she can still enjoy it. Sarah loves the Louvre.....



.....but there's some unfortunate drama in the French capital, which has the same problems as any other city.

Back home, Wells has classes to teach, field trips to supervise, research to do, committee meetings to attend, and so on. These university responsibilities cause two problems for Zach: an undergraduate student called Rachel Charles develops a crush on Zack and comes on to him;



and Zach's colleague, Hilary Gill, is up for tenure and hasn't done enough research to get it.



Both situations concern Wells, and he does what he can to assist Hilary, but Zach's worries about Sarah overshadow other matters.

Perhaps needing to help SOMEONE, Wells becomes obsessed with stories about women and girls disappearing from Ciudad Juárez, Mexico, a city just across the bridge from El Paso, Texas. Zach notes, "Hundreds of women had been hunted there, on the other side of that bridge, pursued, raped, imprisoned, tortured, and killed. They were mostly dark haired and of slender build, as was my beautiful Sarah."



Coincidentally, Wells orders a pre-owned tin cloth Filson jacket on Ebay. When Zach dons the jacket and reaches into the pocket, he finds a small slip of paper that says, 'Ayuadame', which means 'help me' in Spanish.



Later, Wells orders a shirt from the same provider, and finds another note requesting assistance. Zach concludes enslaved Mexican women are being forced to work for the vendor in New Mexico, and he embarks on a mission to help the captives.



Zach outfits himself as a geologist looking for oil, and goes to New Mexico to scout out the situation.



In New Mexico, Zach comes across a motherly waitress called DeLois;



two right wing Nazis up to no good;



and Mexican women working in the Nazis' compound.



Wells' exploits in New Mexico seem incredibly daring, but Zach's Marine background makes him more adventurous than most people....and the Nazis aren't that smart. Zach's determination to help the enslaved women lead up to the three different endings in the three versions of the book.



The novel is sprinkled with passages about bird fossils, as well as chess moves; Latin quips; chatter about paintings; and more, which makes the story feel quite erudite.


Bird Fossil

I was engaged with both plotlines - Sarah's illness and the Mexican women - and felt the 'three endings experiment' was interesting. To REALLY start a conversation though, the three endings should have diverged from one another more. Still, this is a good book, highly recommended.

Rating: 4 stars

Review of "99 Ways to Die and How to Avoid Them" by Ashely Alker, M.D."

  

Dr. Ashely Alker is an emergency medicine doctor as well as an educator concerned about public health and preventative care. Alker wrote this book to help people avoid 'the ninety-nine most terrifying, interesting, and unfortunate ways to die, ranging from everyday household poisons to regrettable sex'.

Also, since many people believe what they see in films and television/streaming series, Alker has worked with screenwriters and producers to increase medical accuracy in Hollywood. So far Alker has consulted for The Act, The Handmaid's Tale, Bull, Station 19, Chicago Med, Purple Hearts, and many others. Alker writes, "The purpose of my work is to create truth in art, giving viewers a more valid theatrical experience that is passively educational and avoids health misconceptions."


Author Ashely Alker

This book isn't for hypochondriacs!! Reading the book from cover to cover might give the false impression that a person's life is in danger every day from some combination of infectious microbes; allergies; poisons; pregnancy; eating beef; insect and arachnid bites; injuries; parasites; weapons; animal attacks; drinking too much water; dog kisses; and so on.



Luckily, Alker lightens the mood with a good sense of humor and funny anecdotes.



Alker suggests, "Don't let Lassie kiss your face, I don't care how famous he is." Dog kisses can spread
Guillain-Barré syndrome, a rare condition that causes sudden numbness and muscle weakness.

For deadly threats of various kinds, Alker discusses their history; patients she's treated; methods of disease transmission; symptoms; prevention; treatment; famous victims; death toll; and more. Alker also gives useful advice, such as: get vaccinated; be prepared; use common sense; and when you sense something is wrong - get to an emergency room or hospital quickly.

The book is VERY inclusive and detailed, but in a nutshell, the topics are:

◈ Infections: Bacterial, Viral, and Parasitic.

◈ Vaccine Preventable Diseases: Smallpox, Polio, Flu, etc.

◈ Heart Diseases: Heart Attack, Arrhythmias, High Blood Pressure, etc.

◈ Brain Diseases: Mad Cow Disease, Stroke, Dementia, etc.

◈ Sex: Pregnancy, Syphilis, Herpes, Butt Stuff, etc.

◈ Drugs: Medications - Over-the-Counter Products, Herbal and Dietary Supplements, etc.

◈ Drugs: Recreational - Opiates, Psychedelic Mushrooms, Nicotine, Alcohol, etc.

◈ Animals: Snakes, Spiders, Sharks, Scorpions, Jellyfish, etc.

◈ Poisons: Cyanide, Carbon Monoxide, Deadly Nightshade, Pesticides, etc.

◈ Food: Anaphylaxis, Pufferfish Tetrodotoxin, Fish, Poisonous Mushrooms, etc.

◈ Locomotion: Cars, Motorcycles, ATVs, Helicopters, Planes, etc.

◈ Crime: Murder, Gun Violence, Serial Killers, etc.

◈ The Elements: Lightning, Tornadoes, Earthquakes, etc.

◈ Warfare: Biological, Chemical, and Nuclear Weapons.

To provide a feel for the book I'll give a few examples, chosen at random for variety and interest.

INFECTION

➼ Strep Throat

Strep throat is caused by Streptococcus bacteria, which infect the throat and tonsils. Antibiotics are prescribed to kill the microbes, and it's important to take the FULL ROUND of antibiotics to prevent the development of resistant germs.

Left untreated, a prolonged strep infection can cause rheumatic fever, a disease that causes heart inflammation, arthritis, rash, skin nodules, and a body shaking syndrome called Sydenham's chorea. Serious cases can result in kidney failure or the need for a heart transplant.




Sydenham's chorea can cause body shaking

➼ Necrotizing Fasciitis

The various bacteria that cause necrotizing fasciitis eat away at body tissues in a process called liquefactive necrosis, turning flesh into a gray soup. The symptoms begin as a normal skin infection, but the redness, pain, fever, and sometimes blisters on the skin then progress rapidly.

One of the causes of necrotizing fasciitis is a bacterium called Vibrio vulnificus, "which is not a Hogwarts spell but a saltwater bacterium." If you get cut in the ocean or brackish water, wash the cut thoroughly and seek medical care.


Necrotizing Fasciitis

TICK-BORNE DISEASE

➼ Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever is a bacterial disease spread by tick bites. Usually, on day seven after the tick bite, the victim gets a headache and fever, followed by a rash that looks like bright red freckles covering the entire body.

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever is deadly because the bacteria damage cells that line the blood vessels, causing blood leakage and blood clots, and sometimes infections in the brain, heart and liver. The illness is treatable with the antibiotic doxycyline.


Tick and rash associated with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever

PARASITES

Alker notes, "Swine can carry up to forty different parasites...The problem is pigs are known to eat a little poo from time to time and it comes with worms...I bet a lettuce and tomato sandwich is looking pretty good right now."

➼ Pork Tapeworm

Taenia solium is the pork tapeworm. If a person eats undercooked infected pork, the immature stage of the parasites - called cysticerci - infect the gut and grow into flatworms that can live for years. Treatment is easy with praziquantel or albendazole pills.


Pork tapeworm (left) and pork tapeworm in human intestine (right)

If the cysticeri get to the brain, they cause a disease called neurocyticercosis, which is the primary cause of preventable epilepsy in the world. One victim may have been Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., who claimed he had a worm in his brain. Without treatment, 'brain worms' can cause headaches, blindness, meningitis, stroke-like symptoms, and death.


Mulitple cysticerci in the brain

BRAIN DISEASE

➼ Stroke

Most strokes are caused by blockage in a blood vessel carrying oxygen-rich blood to the brain. This results in death of brain tissue. Symptoms of stroke may include facial droop, numbness, arm and leg weakness, vision loss, slurred speech, and inability to understand speech.

Clot-busting medications can be given up to several hours after the onset of symptoms, but the more time passes, the more brain tissue dies. So never ignore stroke symptoms, and go the emergency room immediately.


Stroke victim

➼ Brain-Eating Amoeba

Alker says, "Have you ever swum in the peaceful waters of a lake? Used a neti pot for a sinus rinse? Taken a dip in a river or stream? If so, this chapter will terrify you."

The Naegleria fowleri amoeba is a freshwater brain-eating amoeba that is almost always fatal. The organism infects humans by entering through the nose when people swim in contaminated water, or when neti pot water is contaminated.

Symptoms include headache, nausea, vomiting, neck stiffness, fever, seizure, altered mental state, and hallucinations. Severe brain swelling eventually leads to brain herniation (shifting in position) and death.




A woman using a neti pot for a nasal rinse

Alker suggests, "If you happen to be swimming in warm, unchlorinated fresh water, maybe keep your head above the surface. Also, sterilize water used for neti pots."

SEX

➼ Butt Stuff

Alker notes, "One thing every emergency department sees too much are rectally inserted objects. This throws nonmedical folk off, but honestly when you are tired, covered in coffee, and trying to save lives, the person with stuff in their butt is the least of your problems.....Doctors do not care how the TV remote you "SAT ON" got into your butt."

Alker suggests, "There are safe items made for rectal stimulation. Be brave: Go to a sex shop, wear a hat and glasses, and pay in cash, or go online and use a friend's credit card."

Nuff said about that subject.

DRUGS

➼ Over-the-counter medications

Alker describes treating a child with depression who had taken vitamins in his mother's medicine cabinet, to try to hurt himself. The child had overdosed on iron and was going into shock, meaning his blood was not getting oxygen to his organs.

Symptoms of iron poisoning include nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Subsequently, the blood turns to acid, and the iron causes bleeding, and liver, heart, and kidney dysfunction. Once shock and liver failure set in, the only treatment may be a liver transplant.

An intravenous antidote, deferoxamine can alleviate the symptoms of iron poisoining, but must be used early, as iron has a rapid effect.



POISONS

➼ Carbon Monoxide

Carbon monoxide (CO) gas is tasteless, odorless, and deadly. CO replaces oxygen in red blood cells, so organs can't get the oxygen they need. CO is released by fire or combustion, and is given off by cars, stoves, fireplaces, furnaces, house fires, and so on.



The first symptoms of CO poisoning are headache, dizziness, nausea, and vomiting. Eventually, decreased oxygen to the brain can cause a stroke, and decreased oxygen to the heart can cause a heart attack. CO kills by concentration, which is why the gas is most dangerous when trapped indoors. The solution is dilution (open the doors and windows), or just not polluting in the first place.



Alker observes, "The best advice for avoiding CO poisoning is to get a CO detector. It's like twenty bucks. When you are done reading, you can sell this book and get one."

FOOD

➼ Fish Poisoning

Alker says, "While most food poisoning is caused by picnic potato salad on a sunny day, or street meat contaminated with bacteria, fish are associated with a unique set of poisonings....pufferfish is not the only fish that can take you out at dinner."

Scromboid poisoning is one of the most common types of fish poisoning, and is caused by too much histamine in ingested fish. Histamine causes an allergic reaction, and makes you itch, sneeze, flush, and break out in hives. In severe cases, it can cause breathing problems such as wheezing and airway closure.

The FDA recognizes both fish and shellfish as major food allergens. Scromboid can be caused by tuna, mackerel, bonito, skipjack, mahi-mahi, amberjack, bluefish, marlin, swordfish, herring, anchovies, sardines, salmon, trout, and tilapia (so....almost anything). Scromboid is more common in recreationally caught fish than commercial fish.



Scromboid is rarely deadly, and can be treated with antihistamines for low-risk reactions. Serious symptoms, like breathing problems, require hospital treatment with IV medications and supportive care.

THE ELEMENTS

➼ Lightning

Alker observes, "Lightning has been of human interest throughout history....this may be why the most powerful god on Olympus, Zeus, wielded lightning, and why it is the power of the second-best X-Men character."



According to the CDC, there are more than eight million lightning strikes every day, to trees and other tall structures.



The primary way people die from a lightning strike is cardiac arrest: the lightning disrupts the electricity of the heartbeat causing a fatal arrhythmia and the heart to stop beating.

If someone is hit by lightning, the CDC recommends immediately starting CPR and calling 911. Alker suggests, "If you don't know CPR, put this book down and go take a class, especially if you have kids."

*****

I hope my examples give you a feel for the book's contents, which provide a great deal of information you might find useful - or even life-saving - some day. It's a lot to take in, so I'd suggest reading the book a little at a time.

Highly recommended.

Thanks to Netgalley, Ashely Alker, and St. Martin's Press for an ARC of the book.

Rating: 4 stars 

Review of "Solutions and Other Problems: Funny Stories" by Allie Brosh

 

Author Allie Brosh


In 2013 Allie Brosh published "Hyperbole and a Half", an assemblage of humorous and touching snippets about her life, rendered as cartoon drawings with captions and anecdotes. The following years were challenging for Brosh, but she continued drawing and writing, and the result is this follow-up book, which - though still funny - tackles some difficult issues.

In "Solutions and Other Problems", Allie writes about trapping herself in a bucket as a toddler;



having a five-year-old stalker;



horse poop appearing in her childhood home;



teaching tricks to animals;



buying bananas;



her struggle with cancer;



her sister's suicide;



her dimwitted/sneaky/manipulative dogs;



obstreperous technology;



a hammer-happy neighbor;



her cat's favorite toy mouse; and much more.



Since it's always great to have a laugh, here a few examples of Brosh's amusing tales.

When Allie was 3-years-old she became curious about her next door neighbor, a fortyish bachelor named Richard. Being a clever tyke Allie found a way to crawl out of the dog door of her home and creep into the cat door of Richard's house.



The youngster proceeded to skulk around Richard's house and occasionally watch him sleep. Little Allie would also abscond with some of Richard's things - a shoe, a spoon, a spatula, etc. - and hide them in her dresser drawer.



Allie's parents noticed that the child disappeared sometimes, and when they asked where she was, Allie said she'd been "hanging out with Richard." Horrified by visions of a child predator, Allie's folks confronted the neighbor, who claimed to have no idea what they were talking about. Allie was 'outed' when she hid Richard's live cat in her drawer.



*****

Brosh's family had a big brown hairy dog, called the pile dog, that contracted end-stage liver disease.



A symptom of this illness is water retention, and the dog developed a hugely distended abdomen. When summer arrived Brosh had to shave the dog's swollen tummy, but put a sweater on her for heat retention.



A broken air conditioner required the services of a repairman, who kept staring and staring at the pile dog.....and finally asked what kind of animal it was.



Brosh writes, "You don't even ask that question if you have any guesses - any guesses at all. Absolutely nobody wants to seem the sort of fool who can't tell the difference between a goat and a pony. If there's a chance it's an animal you've heard of, it isn't worth it.

Allie speculates the serviceman was thinking, 'Is it an illegal monster from outer space living with you here?' The family told him it was a dog, but Brosh doesn't think he believed them.

*****

Brosh's childhood diary is full of training plans, like plans to perform real magic; plans to teach her dog to read; plans to become a wolf; plans to teach her friend to draw faster and better; and more.

When Allie was six, she thought she'd discovered the secret to breathing underwater. The idea was to get a balloon, blow into it - so it's filled with air - and then breathe back and forth into it forever. Unfortunately, it didn't work.



*****

One of Brosh's most poignant chapters deals with helping 'ugly' children feel better about themselves. You can relate the story of The Ugly Duckling - about an unattractive baby bird that grows up to be a gorgeous swan.....



.....but the children might stay ugly.

You can talk about Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, whose 'disability' helped Santa on a foggy night.



Or you can tell the kids about the ugliest frog in the world.

"Once upon a time there was an ugly frog. And the world isn't fair, so it didn't grow up to be pretty or successful - it just stayed how it was.



Then one foggy Christmas Eve, the frog realized that everything is equally ridiculous. And it went sledding, because why not."



*****

The book is filled with stories, observations, and anecdotes, ranging from the bittersweet to the hilarious. Highly recommended.

Rating: 4 stars