Review of "Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things" by Jenny Lawson

Jenny Lawson - born and raised in Texas - is a journalist, blogger, author, and humorist who suffers from mental illness. Lawson describes herself as having clinical depression, severe anxiety disorder, impulse control disorder, avoidance personality disorder, and depersonalization disorder (which makes her feel detached from reality). She also has rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune problems, self-harm issues, trichotillomania (she pulls out her hair), mild obsessive compulsive disorder, and panic attacks. This makes Lawson's life challenging but - in spite of it all - she's a very funny lady!


Jenny Lawson

This is Lawson's second book and, like the first, it provides encouragement to people with mental health issues.....and to everyone else whose life isn't perfect. Lawson's motivational observations are scattered among many amusing anecdotes that make gentle fun of everything and everyone, including herself.

Lawson describes one of her troubling behaviors as follows: She was in the bathroom, blood flowing from the scratches on her head that she'd made with her nails. Lawson describes how this made her feel: "The pressure in my head was gone. The pain in me was floating away. Panic was fading slowly." In short, the physical pain distracted from the mental pain.



For Lawson, these kinds of self-destructive actions led to behavioral therapy, various medications, learning to redirect her thoughts, snapping rubber bands on her wrist, and squeezing ice until her hands burned. Lawson's basic philosophy - reiterated in different ways throughout the book - is: "Without the dark there isn't light, without pain there isn't relief."

In spite of these low periods Lawson has the gift of seeing (and creating) the funny all around her. For instance:

Lawson is picking up her meds at a Texas pharmacy and sees a box of Milk Bone dog biscuits beside the cash register. She thinks maybe someone returned them until - while ringing her up - the pharmacist casually reaches into the box and scarfs down some broken biscuits. Lawson is aghast, wondering if she's high....or if Milk Bones are actually delicious and the pharmacist is a genius who discovered really cheap cookies.



Lawson loves her stuffed raccoon, Rory. Rory is posed standing up on his hind legs with his arms stretched wide and a huge smile on his face (see book cover). Late one night Lawson decides Rory should ride, rodeo style, on her cats - Ferris Mewler, Hunter S. Tomcat, and Rolly - for a photo montage. So Lawson tries to mount Rory on the kitties, who flop over before she can get the shot, "like a bunch of ingrates that don't understand art." At one point, Lawson's husband Victor, woken by the racket at 2 A.M., peeks out of the bedroom just as Ferris Mewler is streaking across the room with Rory on board. "What the hell is that?" cries Victor. (Can you imagine? LOL)





Speaking of cats, Lawson thinks an awesome name for a cat would be "The President" because you'd find yourself saying things like: The President will not stop sitting on my keyboard; The President just threw up on the new rug; I love sleeping with The President. When Lawson mentioned this to Victor, he yelled "You can't have any more cats. I have to clean up after them. And I'll be damned if I have to scoop The President's shit too." (ha ha ha).



For Lawson, one of the difficulties of being a successful author is the inevitable promotional tour and attendant parties. Lawson gets so anxious at events like these that she sometimes hides behind the podium, cowers under a table, or takes shelter in the bathroom.....and occasionally she can't leave her hotel room at all. At one stop, in the Tenderloin District of San Francisco, the crowded streets forced Lawson to stay in her room and - lacking room service - eat peanut butter crackers (that she'd brought along) for days.



For her last book tour Lawson had to fly constantly. According to the author, "it really fucked with my anxiety disorder to the point where I had a mild nervous breakdown." Lawson's shrink advised her to get a service animal, which provides support to people with these difficulties. Lawson thought of training Ferris Mewler, but his explosive diarrhea during trips put him out of the running. So Lawson looked into other animals, including a pony. She notes, "Pony Danza would make a great support animal on a plane.....but Victor got all shitty about having an indoor pony pet." (Lawson's a genius at naming animals! )



Lawson counsels the reader that, "Even when everything's going your way you can still be sad, or anxious, or numb.....because you can't always control your brain or your emotions. It's terrifying but you learn that it's okay to prefer your idea of heaven - like live tweeting zombie movies from under a blanket of kittens - rather than someone else's idea, like fame, fortune, or parties." She advises, "Appreciate the unique moments that recharge you. I want banana popsicles dipped in Malibu rum." (Sounds good to me!)



In one entry, Lawson lists things she may have accidently blurted out during uncomfortable silences at her psychiatrist's office:
"I need to find a skilled arsonist, not necessarily to burn anything down. I just want to have the option. I need an arsonist on retainer. I'm pretty sure that's legal as long as I don't use it."
"My primary thoughts during holidays are stab stab stab, run away."
"I hate it when it's too hot for a blanket because I have this phobia that I'll float up to the ceiling without it and then I'll get chopped up by the ceiling fan."
"On the way here I saw a cloud that looked like a skull and my first thought, Death Eaters."
Of course the psychiatrist just responds, " How does that make you feel? Tell me more."

In one funny anecdote Lawson talks about a visit to her beauty salon. The beautician suggests, "We should get you a Brazilian blowout. It's not bad. You just have to be extra careful for the first day or two. You can't put your hair in a ponytail or anything, or it could compromise the treatment." To which Lawson responds, "What the shit. Who puts their pubic hair in a ponytail?" And the beautician explains that this is a blow drying treatment for the hair on your head - that straightens it out and makes it less frizzy. "Ohhhh...Yeahhhhh" responds a sheepish Lawson. :)



In another wry entry Lawson talks about moving into a new house, chosen in part, because of the safe area. "The house seemed perfect..... the gated community seemed perfect." However, in short order: Lawson got attacked by swans at the local pond; a man in the neighborhood had a full on shoot out with the police in his driveway (and got arrested); and a flyer was circulated saying that a cougar had come down from the mountain nearby and eaten a lady's dog WHILE SHE WAS WALKING IT! Lawson notes, "I just assume the sewers are filled with panthers because this seems to be the direction things are taking."



Lawson also describes a trip to Japan with Victor, where a small gang broke into their hotel room (a misunderstanding); and a journey to Australia with a friend - where she wanted to hug a koala while she was dressed as a koala, and tried to see a kangaroo's three vaginas (these is a real thing, but not visible on the outside).

The writer also describes more of her mental health battles, in an effort to give hope to people who struggle along with her. Lawson's message comes across loud and clear: 'you can go on; you can make it; medication helps; twitter (where lots of 'nuts' hang out) helps; the bad times will pass'..... and so on. 'Just hang in there and appreciate the good times.' The author expresses deep appreciation to her fans, and is profoundly touched by messages from troubled souls who have been brought back from the brink by her writing.



On the downside, the book's humor is a little uneven, and some stories fall flat or feel forced, as if Lawson engaged in an activity just to have something to write about (and it didn't turn out to be that hilarious).

I'd recommend the book to anyone who wants a laugh or needs a boost on occasion (which, I suspect, is everyone). I listened to the audio version, narrated by the author, and was treated to a 'bonus chapter.' So consider getting that version if you can.

Rating: 3.5 stars

Review of "As the World Churns: A Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery with Recipes" by Tamar Myers

In this 16th book in the 'Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery', innkeeper Magdalena Yoder organizes a cow competition.....and investigates when the elderly judge is conked on the noggin. The book can be read as a standalone.

*****

Magdalena Yoder is a wealthy Mennonite woman who owns the PennDutch Inn in Hernia, Pennsylvania and solves mysteries in her spare time.



In this addition to the humorous series Magdalena is newly married to handsome, Jewish heart surgeon Gabriel Rosen.



This grates on Gabe's mother, Ida, who would like nothing better than to take her precious 'Gabeleh' back to Brooklyn. Mama Ida keeps up a running litany of Yiddish-tinged complaints and insults about Magdalena, who's quick to return the favor. These interactions are hilarious.



In fact Magdalena is a hoot in general. She struggles to meld her Mennonite teachings with the reality of the world and thus is conflicted about lying (which she does constantly), television (not permitted, but who can resist 'Green Acres'), dancing (moving while embracing your husband isn't dancing), evolution (which peskily seems to happen despite Mennonite beliefs), etc. In addition, almost every other word out of Magdalena's mouth is a quip of some kind, and most of her family, friends, neighbors, and acquaintances consider her an uproarious nut case.

In this book Magdalena has organized a Hernia Holstein Competition and cow owners from all over flock to town with their livestock.



Each entrant hopes their milk-giver will win the title of best cow along with the cash prize. Four sets of contestants stay at Magdalena's PennDutch Inn, which has rooms for people and a barn for cows. These oddball guests add fun to the story.

The mystery part of the book involves Magdalena's eighty-something friend and neighbor, randy Doc Shafor, who has roaming lips and hands. Doc Shafor is a retired veterinarian scheduled to judge the Holstein competition. Unfortunately, when Doc notices something odd about a cow in Magdalena's barn he gets clonked on the head.



Doc is taken to the hospital but his comatose state keeps him from saying what happened. Magdalena's not going to let anyone get away with clocking Doc, though, and she sets out to catch the miscreant. This leads to plenty of mayhem, including getting Mama Ida to ride backwards on a fast-moving cow.



Several returning characters add zest to the story including Magdalena's teenage pseudo-stepdaughter Alison - a nice girl with a Brooklyn accent and a mind of her own; Magdalena's Amish cook Freni - a shy lady with no neck who has a way with buns; Magdalena's bigamous, pop-eyed, ex-husband Melvin - a murderer who's recently escaped from prison; Magdalena's sister Susannah, who carries a torch for creepy Melvin; a greasy spoon owner named Wanda - who has hated Magdalena for decades; Magdalena's best friend Agnes - a Methodist woman who's looking for love; and more.



Every page of this book provides at least a smile, and I laughed out loud plenty of times. Moreover, real ice cream recipes - which have nothing to do with the story - are sprinkled through the book. I'd strongly recommend this book to fans of funny cozies.

Rating: 3.5 stars

Review of "Concealed in Death: A Lt. Eve Dallas Mystery" by J.D. Robb

In this 38th book in the 'Lt. Eve Dallas' series, numerous bodies are found in the walls of a building that's being renovated. The book can be read as a standalone.



*****

Lt. Eve Dallas is a capable New York detective married to Irish billionaire Roarke - a handsome devil with wild blue eyes (which are mentioned a few too many times in the book).



Roarke recently purchased a dilapidated old Manhattan building that he's renovating. When workers tear into an old wall they're shocked to find two dead bodies. Before long a total of 12 bodies are found behind false walls, all of them teenage girls.



Forensic examination and detective work reveal that the bodies were entombed about 15 years before, around the time the building was being used as a shelter for homeless/abused children.

Dr. Morris, the medical examiner, and Garnet DeWinter, a stylish forensic anthropologist, study the victims' bodies and reconstruct their faces. This reveals the girls' identities and cause of death.





Meanwhile Lt. Dallas and her partner (the always entertaining) Detective Delia Peabody interview Philadelphia and Nashville Jones, a brother and sister who ran the children's shelter, which was named "Sanctuary."



Turns out the Jones' abandoned the old building about 15 years ago, when a generous donor gave them a new facility.



The Jones' recognize photos of some of the dead girls and admit a few went 'missing' but - since homeless kids came and went all the time - they weren't especially worried at the time.

A lot of the book is taken up with Dallas and Peabody interviewing the parents/families/acquaintances of the newly identified missing girls. Some of the kids were rebellious runaways who'd argued with their parents and would have returned home. Other youngsters were escapees from horrible abusive families. The mistreated girls tended to become thieves and grifters, and one 12-year-old girl regularly traded blow jobs for beer and other perks.

The detectives also repeatedly interview the Jones', learning about their conservative religious upbringing, siblings (all of whom are named for cities), and desire to do good. Dallas and Peabody also investigate how the Jones' ran their shelters, and the regimen followed by the youngsters, who were NOT supposed to sneak out at night....but oh well.

Eventually a suspect emerges from the various interviews and clues, and Dallas pushes on to discover the truth.

The book has a LOT of philosophizing about brutish homes and troubled children, especially since both Dallas and Roarke had terrible childhoods. Though this is an important social issue there was too much of it and it slowed down the tale. There's also a lot of talk about Christmas and holiday parties and decorations. A great deal of this chit-chat seems like filler, meant to extend what's essentially a novella into a longer book. Moreover, there's a lot of romance between Dallas and Roarke...who seem to be the most 'in love' couple in the world. I didn't particularly enjoy these parts but I'm not a fan of romance novels.



All in all this was a mediocre mystery, enhanced by appearances from the usual array of the series' colorful (and oddly attired) characters. Fans of J.D. Robb's Eve Dallas series would probably enjoy this book but other readers maybe not so much.



Rating: 2.5 stars

Review of "The Cleaner: A Thriller" by Paul Cleave

Seven women in Christchurch, New Zealand have been brutally raped and murdered by a killer dubbed the "Christchurch Carver."



The homicide squad, led by Detective Carl Schroder, is working hard on the case......



.....and Joe - the police station's mentally challenged janitor - sometimes asks "Any new leads?" before getting Schroder his morning coffee.



Joe has reason to be be interested because in reality HE'S the Christchurch Carver. Joe pretended to be disabled to get the cleaning job, and his vacant stare and big goofy smile has everybody fooled. In reality, Joe is a clever guy who - as he goes about his daily tasks - copies police files, follows the investigation, and changes out the voice recorder he hid in the police station conference room.



Outside of work hours Joe steals cars to get around, murders people, and sometimes visits his mother - who makes bad meatloaf; talks about things she bought on sale; does jigsaw puzzles; and complains about Joe neglecting her. There's something very off between Joe and his mother, but it's not clear exactly what. It might have something to do with the scars on Joe's body, but this is never specified.



Right now Joe is quite angry because he killed only six of the seven victims attributed to the Christchurch Carver. One woman was killed by a copycat who aped the Carver's methods. As a result, Joe is determined to identify the copycat and pin ALL the murders on him.....a quest that takes up most of the book.



Unfortunately for Joe, he's attracted the interest of a young woman named Sally, who does maintenance work at the police station. Sally had a handicapped brother who died, and she's determined to make 'disabled' Joe's life easier. To this end Sally brings Joe sandwiches for lunch and starts to follow him after work - with all good intentions.



After Joe meets a woman named Melissa in a bar, his life gets really complicated.



But Joe's an arrogant dude who figures everything will work out for him. In fact, Joe does identify the copycat killer, and this leads to a dramatic climax.



The story is told mostly from Joe's point of view, with occasional passages about what Sally's thinking and doing. Joe's crimes are described in graphic detail, so sensitive readers should be prepared.

The book is compelling and held my interest, but stories told from a serial killer's POV aren't my favorites. Also, the main characters - all of whom are more or less deluded - aren't especially likable. Sally's probably the most sympathetic character in the story, but she's WAY too nosy and intrusive.

Still, this is a well-written psychological thriller that I'd recommend to fans of the genre.

Rating: 3 stars

Review of "The Sins of the Father: A Novel" by Jeffrey Archer

This is the second novel in the seven-book series, 'The Clifton Chronicles.'

In the first book, Only Time Will Tell, Englishman Harry Clifton was about to marry his great love, Emma Barrington, when a surprise revelation derailed the wedding. Turns out Emma's father - shipping heir Hugo Barrington - probably sired Harry as well, back in the days when Harry's mother was an impulsive young woman.

World War II was about to break out and a downcast Harry went off to join the British Navy. His ship was sunk and Harry was rescued by a U.S. ocean liner. When an American sailor named Tom Bradshaw died, Harry - wanting to escape his family drama - assumed Bradshaw's identity. This was a mistake! On landing in New York 'Tom Bradshaw' (Harry) was arrested for killing his brother.....and Harry's people were notified that he died at sea.

As The Sins of the Father opens Harry is in New York, about to be tried for murder. A powerful attorney named Sefton Jelks, who has a secret agenda, arranges a plea deal and Harry is sentenced to six years in prison. While he's incarcerated Harry makes friends with a fellow inmate, deals with a sadistic guard, works in the prison library, keeps a diary, and is a model prisoner.....all of which leads to some important opportunities and events.

Meanwhile, back in England Emma Barrington gives birth to Harry's son. She also figures out that Harry might not be dead and - leaving the baby with relatives - goes to New York to investigate. Emma is an exceptionally clever, resourceful woman who finds out what she needs to know.....and eventually helps take down some avaricious men. I love Emma!!

Concurrently, Maisie Clifton (Harry's mother) works in a hotel restaurant and enrolls in classes to learn how to read and write. In the course of the story Maisie deals with Stan - her vicious bully of a brother; and Hugo Barrington - who's determined to buy the bombed out lot that once housed Maisie's tea shop. Maisie also acquires a couple of very respectable admirers. :)

WWII is now in full swing and Giles Barrington (Emma's brother and Harry's best friend), who'd rather party than fight, nevertheless joins the Wessex Regiment. Giles turn out to be a brave and capable soldier whose experiences on the battlefield - and in a POW camp - are impressive and compelling.

As for Hugo Barrington - he's still a ruthless, selfish man who lies, cheats, steals, and uses people. Hugo would do anything to get his way, even if it hurts his own family. When Hugo's father - Sir Walter Barrington - dies, Hugo becomes head of Barrington Shipping, which doesn't bode well for anyone.

The story contains a variety of interesting secondary characters, including: a prison warden; a literary agent; a book publisher; a butcher; a teacher; Emma's New York relatives; a Polish aristocrat; a private detective; German officers; and more.

By the end of the book there's a question about the rightful heir to the Barrington title and fortune: Is it Hugo's legitimate son Giles; or Hugo's (presumably) illegitimate son Harry? This is the cliffhanger that ends the narrative.

The book has a sort of 'fairy tale' vibe since the 'good guys' - though they face much uncertainty and hardship - generally prevail. And the 'bad guys' - who tend to be stereotypes (brutal bully; unscrupulous lawyer; greedy businessmen; etc.) - usually get what they deserve. In addition, who would believe Harry, who has an upper-class British accent, is an American? Still, I like the story so I'm willing to suspend disbelief (a little).

Fans of intricate family sagas and/or soap operas would probably like 'The Clifton Chronicles' and I strongly recommend this book to them.

Rating: 3.5 stars