Review of "The Reformed Vampire Support Group: A Supernatural Adventure" by Catherine Jinks

For the Halloween season, I decided to read an offbeat vampire novel. The most well-known vampire tropes are probably the following

Nosferatu: A hideous vampire who inspires terror in every living soul.



Dracula: A strangely compelling vampire who mesmerizes women.



Edward Cullen: The gorgeous vampire from the 'Twilight' saga.



In popular legend vampires are undead beings, often fanged, who have supernatural powers - like the ability to transform into bats. Vampires subsist by drinking the blood of humans, who then become vampires themselves.



If this is your picture of vampires, you haven't met the undead of Australia. In this novel, the narrator, Nina Harrison, was 'fanged' (bitten) in 1973, at the age of fifteen.



Nina is now fifty-one, but she still looks like a teenager, and she lives with her mother Estelle.



If you want to know about vampires, Nina - who has to wear sunglasses to keep her eyes from bleeding - will tell you the following: "Vampires are meant to be glamorous and powerful, but I'm here to inform you that being a vampire is NOTHING like that. Not one bit. On the contrary, it's like being stuck indoors with the flu watching daytime television, forever and ever."



For the most part, Australian vampires don't bite humans, and nourish themselves with guinea pigs. Occasionally, a bleeding human will cause a vampire to lose control, but these incidents are few and far between.



To deal with the difficulties of being a vampire, the Sydney undead belong to the 'Reformed Vampire Support Group', sponsored by a human priest, Father Ramon Alvarez. Father Ramon is the vampires' moral compass, and since most vampires don't have a drivers license, the priest drives them to meetings as well.



The members of the Reformed Vampire Support Group are:

Nina Harrison: Nina writes and publishes novels about a vampire called Zadia Bloodstone. Zadia has all the powers Nina lacks.



Dave Gerace: Dave is a musician, and is a sensible vampire who can be relied on in a pinch.



Sanford Plackett: Sanford is an older 'know-it-all' vampire who's anointed himself leader of the group.



Horace Whittaker: Horace is a flamboyant vampire who wears a gothic assortment of crushed velvet, black satin, and patent leather.



Gladys Blakers: Gladys, a former streetwalker, looks like a hippie. Gladys complains constantly and likes scented baths.



Bridget: Bridget, a former nun, is an elderly vampire who's always knitting.



Casimyr Kucynski: Casimyr is the notorious vampire who brought the 'infection' from the old country to Australia. No one likes Casimyr.



George Mumford: George isn't too bright, but he breeds the guinea pigs that nourish all the other vampires.



This is the gist of the story:

The vampires gather for their regular Tuesday night meeting, and Casimyr Kucynski doesn't show up. When the group goes to check on Casimyr, they discover a vampire slayer has staked Casimyr and shot him with a silver bullet.....so Casimir is dissolving into a pile of ashes.



The other vampires fear for their well-being, and decide to hide out in the home of Estelle Harrison (Nina's mother), who lays down a set of rules for the 'guests.' (This is all pretty funny.)



The group also learns the identity of the vampire slayer, who turns out to be a nebbish called Nefley Irving, who's on a mission to rid the world of evil.



So Father Ramon, Nina, and Dave decide to hunt down Nefley and convince him vampires are harmless.







Thus begins an adventure whereby the threesome come across evil fight promoters called Barry and Dermid McKinnon;





meet a handsome young werewolf named Reuben Schneider;





give Nefley a helping hand; and - as it happens - add members to their group.



I don't often delve into the supernatural genre, but this is an entertaining novel, and a unique take on vampires. I'd say the book is crossover YA/Adult fiction, suitable for both groups.

Rating: 3 stars