Ani FaNelli seems to have the perfect life. At the age of 28, Ani (pronounced AH-nee) is an editor at 'The Women's Magazine';
has a closet full of designer clothes, shoes, and handbags; lives in an expensive Manhattan apartment;
and is engaged to blue-blood Wall Street financier Luke Harrison.
As the story opens Ani is preparing for her wedding, a time-consuming endeavor that involves choosing invitations; lining up a calligrapher; selecting bridesmaids dresses; creating a gift registry; cake tasting; food tasting; picking a florist; deciding on a photographer; planning a honeymoon; and so on. Ani's wedding gown is from a high-end boutique - not that 'wedding gown factory' Kleinfeld's - and she's chosen a retooled old bank for the nuptials....a venue that hasn't been 'overdone.'
Ani comes across as a snobby bitch. She judges people by their clothes; makes derogatory remarks about her colleagues; and flashes her huge emerald engagement ring at every opportunity.....to garner envy and deference.
Ani is nasty to waitstaff in restaurants, and - at one point - purposely nudges a black ink pen against a co-workers white pants, to create a stain that looks like 'varicose veins.'
At this point I wondered why I was reading this book, since it seemed to be chick lit about a mean gal - who changed her name from TifAni to Ani - and manipulated a rich man into marrying her.
That's not the case. The story is really about Ani's troubled past and dark secrets.
Ani, born TifAni FaNelli, grew up in a middle-class Pennsylvania family, the only child of a loving mother and distant father. After a pot-smoking incident got TifAni expelled from Catholic school, her parents enrolled her in an elite Philadelphia high school called 'The Bradley School.'
In an effort to be popular at Bradley, 14-year-old TifAni tried to be friends with the 'it girls', Hilary and Olivia.....and the soccer boys Dean, Peyton, and Teddy. TifAni also bonded with fellow new student Liam and a gay boy named Arthur, who befriended her on the very first day of school.
High school can be socially challenging in the best of circumstances, and Bradley was a REALLY rough place, with exceptionally entitled kids. TifAni learned this from stories about Ben - a former student who tried to commit suicide AND from her own experiences. To say more would be a spoiler.
Years have passed since TifAni graduated from Bradley, and the school is now slated to be the subject of a documentary. Moreover, Ani is scheduled to be interviewed for the film, shortly before the wedding. Ani is nervy about being in the production, and wants to appear attractive, skinny, composed, successful, and proudly engaged.
The story alternates between the present and the past. In the present, Ani goes to work; plans her wedding; dines with her best friend Nell; visits her mother; goes out with Luke; does the Bradley interview; etc.
Though Ani seems to 'have it all', she's neurotic; has trouble sleeping; is constantly slimming (to be rail thin for the interview and wedding); and questions some of her choices.
In the past, TifAni shops for clothes with her mother; goes to school; eats in the cafeteria; attends parties;
joins the cross-country team;
becomes friendly with her teacher/coach; hangs out at Arthur's house; and so on. During this time TifAni has unfortunate experiences that cause lasting consequences. These ordeals may explain Ani's 'quirks' as an adult, but it doesn't excuse them - and I wouldn't want to hang out with her.
The story starts out slowly but picks up the pace when it begins to focus on the past. I found the book compelling, but the story is troubling and might be a trigger for sensitive persons. In any case, the narrative is relevant to today's teens, their parents, and society at large.....and the book is well worth reading.
There are interesting interviews with the author - Jessica Knoll - online.....but I strongly suggest you don't read them until you finish the book. Also, Reese Witherspoon has optioned the book for a movie, in case that affects your reading plans.
Author Jessica Knoll
Rating: 3.5 stars
Veronika, an attractive 24-year-old woman living in Ljubljana, Slovenia, has loving parents, an okay job, decent boyfriends, and so on. However she's tired of her routine life and tries to commit suicide. Veronika's attempt fails and she wakes up in Villete, a local mental hospital.
There Veronika is told that her suicide attempt has severely damaged her heart and she has about a week to live.
Liberated from worries about going on with life - and learning that mental patients are free to exhibit any behavior they like - Veronika decides to interact with some fellow patients. She befriends Mari, who has panic attacks; Zedka, who is depressed; and Eduard, a catatonic schizophrenic who seems to enjoy Veronika's piano playing.
Meanwhile, Dr. Igor, the head psychiatrist, studies Veronika and the other patients at Villete to test his theory that a body substance called "vitriol" causes mental illness.
By the end of the book Veronika's presence at Villete causes many of the patients to change their attitudes about their own mental illness as well as how they want to live their lives.
The book seems to accurately describe the behavior of some mentally ill people but I thought the depiction of the patients was generally superficial and provided little insight into true mental disorders. However some of the characters are interesting and the story is okay.
I'd mildly recommend the book to readers interested in mental health.
Rating: 3 stars
There's a new sleuth in the Los Angeles hood, and his nickname is IQ. This is perfect because IQ are Isaiah Quintabe's initials AND he's a brilliant consulting detective - along the lines of Sherlock Holmes.
Now in his mid-twenties, IQ had a life-changing experience in high school. Isaiah's beloved brother Marcus - who was raising him - got killed in a hit-and-run.....leaving the boy alone, bereft, and angry at the world.
Needing help to pay the rent, Isaiah let his gangbanger/drug dealer classmate, Juanell Dodson, move in.....
......and the two boys embarked on a life of crime.
Isaiah devised a clever scheme to rob retail shops, and the youthful felons soon had a storage unit full of expensive dog medications; high-end fishing equipment; costly hair extensions; pricey bike parts; and so on.....which they slowly sold for cash.
The sluggish rate of return didn't suit Dodson - who was reckless and greedy - and the drug seller embarked on a lone crime that had horrific consequences.
Isaiah cut out after this incident, and - over the next few years - worked at a series of jobs that endowed him with an admirable skill set. This led IQ to become the neighborhood 'fixer', and he did things like locating a runaway minor; finding Kruggerands hidden by an Alzheimer's patient; retrieving stolen wedding gifts, etc. IQ sometimes got paid in chocolate chip cookies or the like, but - for clients who could pay - Isaiah charged real money.....and made a modest living from his vocation.
Now, shady Juanell Dodson is back, and he wants IQ to take on a high-paying job. Rapper Calvin Knight, called 'Black the Knife', thinks someone is out to kill him.
Cal is is scheduled to record a new album, but is too frightened to go to the studio.....and remains holed up in his luxurious Los Angeles mansion. Cal is willing to pay $50,000 to discover who wants him dead, and Dodson figures he'll help Isaiah solve the case and share the fee.
Cal's entourage - manager Anthony and bodyguards Charles and Bug.....as well as music executive Bobby Grimes - depend on Cal for their income.
These tagalongs push the rapper to return to work but Cal - who was recently attacked by a vicious 130-pound pit bull in his own house - digs in his heels, takes a slew of drugs, and devolves into a hot mess.
When IQ and Dodson show up at Cal's home, the rapper's retinue makes it clear they have no use for Isaiah's sleuthing. But the detective studies the CCTV tape of the dog attack - and examines the mansion grounds - and reaches a conclusion about the hitman. Isaiah and Dodson then set out to find the killer and discover who hired him.
Things get very dangerous at this point because the hitman, named Skip, is a sociopath who has formidable skills with guns and dogs.
Moreover, there's a traitor in Cal's inner circle - an 'inside man' who's feeding Skip information.
Additional characters include: Deronda - a young woman who's looking for a sugar daddy; Noelle - Cal's hateful ex-wife; Harry - an elderly dog breeder and canine expert; Flaco - a brain-damaged young man; Junior - a vicious drug dealer; and more.
The book alternates between 2006 - when Isaiah and Dodson were juvenile delinquents and 2013 - when IQ and Dodson are investigating Cal's case. We also learn something about the backgrounds of IQ and Skip.....which helps explain their motivations.
"IQ" is a page-turner that's exciting AND funny. I love that gangsta Dodson is a great cook who wants to be an 'Iron Chef'; that IQ buys Flaco a lifesize cutout of Margaret Cho - his favorite comic; and that IQ easily holds his own against arrogant blowhard Bobby Grimes.
This is a great start to a new series, highly recommended to mystery fans.
Rating: 4 stars
This is the second book in the mystery series that begins with The Cuckoo's Calling.
Private detective Cormoran Strike - an Army veteran who lost a leg in the Afghanistan war - is hired to find eccentric writer Owen Quine. Quine walked out after a dispute with his agent and hasn't been home for two weeks. Before long Strike finds Quine's rotting body - trussed, disemboweled, and burnt with acid.
Quine was an unpopular guy who had recently written a book maligning almost everyone in his orbit: his wife, agent, editor, publisher, mistress, fellow writers, and so on. Thus there are plenty of suspects in this mystery, which is essentially a cozy.
The cozy atmosphere is bumped up, however, by Strike's bum leg and the bad weather. Strike repeatedly injures his bad knee and is forced to hobble around on his prosthesis or crutches, often in freezing temperatures with snow incessantly falling. The author's descriptions are so vivid that I could almost feel the icy weather myself.
As in the first book in the series, Strike's secretary and assistant Robin Ellacott - who longs to be a detective herself - is ready and anxious to lend a hand in the investigation.
Some characters from the first book are on hand, including Strike's loving sister Lucy; his wealthy (almost high-society) half-brother Al; and Robin's resentful, jealous fiancé Matthew (when will Robin realize he's not right for her?).
Strike's constant financial woes make it necessary for him to work on other cases while looking for Quine's killer and these investigations - which generally involve getting evidence on cheating spouses or lovers - are entertaining additions to the main story.
For me the resolution of the mystery didn't quite ring true and wasn't completely satisfying. However I enjoyed the book and would read more adventures involving Cormoran Strike and Robin Ellacott.
Rating: 3.5 stars
On Stephen Colbert's program, "The Late Show", he does a comedy sketch called "Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions." The host explains that he's Catholic - but doesn't always get to Church - so he'll cleanse his conscience by confessing to the audience.
Stephen's 'sins', of course, are hilarious. This is the written version of the skit, or - as Stephen explains it - the portable version.
The book, which can be read in a jiffy, is a lot of fun. To provide an idea of the contents, I'll note some jokes that made me laugh.
*****
"Yesterday I told a coworker she had the cutest baby. But really it was more of a 6."
"Sometimes when I go to a garage sale, I sneak in some of my own junk and run."
"I wear sunglasses on the subway so no one sees me peeking at their text messages. Actually, I lied. I don't ride the subway."
"If I sneeze and somebody doesn't say "Bless You", I aim the next sneeze toward them."
"Whenever I see a bowl of M&Ms at a party, I always toss in a couple of Skittles just to freak people out."
"One of the wise men in my Nativity scene broke, and instead of buying a new one, I replaced him with Lego Batman."
"When my kids were growing up, our house didn't have a fireplace. So I told them that Santa came out of the dryer."
"I don't say "Spoiler Alert" before giving away the ending to a movie.......or serving bad clams."
"They say there's no wrong way to eat a Reese's, but I'm thinking a whole bag while you're idling in the driveway is close."
"I think women look great in stiletto heels, but if I were a woman and a man asked me to wear them, I would murder him with my shoes."
"I know how to fold fitted sheets, but I will never tell my wife."
"I really want washboard abs.....but all I have is a fabric-softener ass."
And here are some gems submitted by Colbert's twitter fans:
"I went through a Dunkin Donuts drive thru and started talking to the garbage can instead of the speaker."
"Until the 6th grade I though lesbians were what you called people who lived in Libya."
"Sometimes I eat Jimmy Fallon's ice cream while I watch Stephen Colbert's show."
*****
If these quips amuse you, there are lots more in the book. And if you want even more, "Midnight Confessions" segments are available on YouTube.
Rating: 4 stars
