Review of "Bird Box - Don't Open Your Eyes: A Novel" by Josh Malerman

Many people loved this book and gave it glowing 4 and 5 star reviews. That said, I don't share their enthusiasm.

As the story opens there are alarming news reports that people in Russia are becoming violent - killing themselves and others - for no apparent reason. 





The phenomenon soon spreads around the world, and it becomes clear that a glimpse of 'it' drives people insane - but no one (who's still alive) knows what 'it' is. 



People proceed to barricade themselves inside their homes, cover all the windows, and venture outside only with blindfolds on. At one point a character actually drives a car blindfolded, with all the windows blackened for good measure. (This stretches credulity just a tad.)

A few years after the phenomenon begins Malorie is living alone in a house with her two children, Boy and Girl, both 4-years-old. The mother has trained the children to cultivate their sense of hearing, which is now extremely acute. Malorie has had a plan since the kids were born, and one foggy day - when the danger of 'it' seeing them is reduced - she takes action. 



Malorie blindfolds herself and the 4-year-olds, and they all board a rowboat on a nearby river. Malorie then starts paddling downstream, relying on the children's hearing to detect danger.



The story alternates back and forth between the present - where the little family is traveling down the river, and the past - which details how Malorie got to this point.

In the past, when the craziness began, Malorie - who had just discovered she was pregnant.....



..... was living with her sister Shannon. 



After Shannon died, Malorie, having seen an advertisement in the newspaper about a 'safe house', plucked up her courage and made her way there.



 The house contained a small cadre of people who had a large supply of food, a nearby well, working electricity, a landline telephone.....and elaborate procedures to keep themselves safe.



New people occasionally showed up at the house, which always caused anxiety because the newcomers might have seen 'it' or could be dangerous for other reasons.

In the present, Malorie and the kids are enduring a difficult journey. In addition to rowing in a physically weakened condition (having been stuck inside for years) Malorie has to deal with possible hazards on the river - like collisions, animals, and maybe 'it.'



Back in the past, Tom - who functions as the safe house's leader - undertakes various projects. He organizes an expedition to acquire and train 'seeing-eye' dogs; searches for food and medicine; makes endless phone calls to try to reach survivors (and leaves messages when he can); makes preparations for Malorie's soon-to-be-born baby; and so on.

In the book's sections set in the present, we slowly learn about Malorie's destination, what she must go through to get there (can you say wolf attack?), and what she finds when she arrives. Since Malorie and the children are alone as the story opens it's not a spoiler to say that - for one reason or another - the other house residents are no longer there when Malorie embarks on her trip. How this comes about is suspenseful and compelling.

This book is often described as a horror story - and there's certainly an undercurrent of dread that permeates the tale. However, I never felt very scared. I was more curious to find out what 'it' was, where 'it' came from, why 'it' was here, and possibly 'it's' ultimate fate. I never learned any of that, and was disappointed.



Moreover, this is one of those books that describes the action of the characters in minute detail (I'm paraphrasing here): Tom donned his blindfold; he opened the door; he listened for a moment; he took a step toward the well; he paused to sense whether 'it' was close by; he took another step toward the well; etc. I like the action to move along quickly so (to me) this kind of storytelling is tedious and not enjoyable. In addition, I never quite understood the ultimate goal of the human 'survivors.' I wanted to know what kind of future they hoped for or expected, but the author didn't elaborate on this. (Me.....I'd just throw in the towel if I had to live like these people.)

That said, I admire the author's imagination and his careful development of the stricken world he writes about.

Since so many people have praised this book I'd suggest that readers intrigued by the premise try it out - maybe get it from a traditional or online library (I borrowed it from Hoopla). You might love it too, and if you don't.....no great loss.

Rating; 3 stars

Review of "The Scarred Woman: A Department Q Mystery" by Jussi Adler-Olsen

Detective Carl Mørck is the head of Department Q, a cold case squad that works out of the dingy basement of a Copenhagen, Denmark police station. Carl's unit consists of himself and three others, Assad, Rose, and Gordon.



- Assad, originally from Syria, is Carl's partner. He's a smart, congenial fellow with an oddly sophisticated skill set.....but he doesn't talk about his mysterious background. (I'm guessing secret police.)



- Rose, an office manager/investigator, is a troubled woman who exhibits multiple personalities. Her problems come to a head in this book.



- Gordon is relatively new to the cold case squad and excels at background searches and other computer work. He has a crush on Rose.



*****

The story: When Department Q is threatened with budget cuts - or even closure - because of low solve rates Carl is furious. After all, his squad has successfully closed 65 percent of their cases. Turns out the alleged poor statistics are due to a clerical error, but a fire has been lit under Carl. Against the orders of his boss - Head of Homicide Lars Bjørn - Carl decides to investigate a CURRENT case.

An elderly woman named Rigmor Zimmermann was killed by a blow to the head and robbed of 10,000 kroner. Oddly enough, the Zimmermann murder resembles a cold case from a decade ago, when a schoolteacher called Stephanie Gundersen was killed in a similar fashion. Carl and his cohorts get on the job, looking for a connection between Zimmermann and Gundersen, and investigating who might have wanted them dead.

Meanwhile, the Head of Homicide has his own plans to keep the kroner flowing into the police station. Lars Bjørn arranges for Olaf Borg-Pedersen - host of a true crime television show - to film Carl and his team while they work. Carl wants no part of this publicity, and his efforts to evade and elude Pedersen provide some comic relief in the book.

As Department Q looks into the Zimmermann/Gundersen homicides, a handful of women in Copenhagen are making their own nefarious plans. Anne-Line Svendsen (Anneli), a case worker for Danish social services, is fed up with the useless young women - beautifully dressed with perfect hair and make-up - who parade through her office on a regular basis.



The fashionistas have myriad excuses for not working, and invariably demand handouts and favors. On top of that, Anneli overhears several of these layabouts making fun of her.

When Anneli gets breast cancer, it's the final straw. Since she might die soon anyway, Anneli resolves to kill women who abuse the Danish welfare system, especially three young ladies named Michelle, Denise, and Jazmine....as well as others who get on her nerves.



Anneli decides on 'hit and run' as her modus operandi, and - after carefully consulting the internet - practices stealing cars, staking out her victims, making a getaway, and so on. When she's ready, Anneli starts mowing down her good-for-nothing clients. I can't say more because of spoilers.

For their part, Michelle, Denise and Jazmine - who always need money - decide to embark on their own life of crime. They've heard that Anneli won a huge lottery some time back (she didn't), and - ironically - decide to kill the social worker and steal her jackpot. Before that, though, the trio rob a nightclub that employs Michelle's boyfriend as a bouncer.....and this leads to plenty of drama, including a death and an abduction.



While all this is going on, Department Q's Rose Knudson is having a mental breakdown. She comes to work late, neglects her job, shouts at Carl, drinks too much, writes all over her apartment walls, etc. Pressured by her sisters, Rose enters a mental health facility.



The Knudson sisters tell Carl that Rose was psychologically abused by their father for years; that Rose saw her dad killed in a horrific industrial accident; and that Rose has been keeping journals since she was a child. Wanting to help his colleague, Carl reads the journals....which turn out to have VERY odd entries. Department Q spends a lot of time analyzing Rose's diaries, which seriously delays their other work. (The journal rigmarole gets a bit boring, IMO, and takes up too much of the book).

All these plot threads slowly and cleverly come together..... and it's fun to see each puzzle piece click into place. Saying more would ruin the fun for readers.

As usual with this series, we get a peek at Carl's personal life. Carl shares his home with a former partner named Hardy who - injured in the line of duty - is now a quadriplegic. Carl moons over the police psychologist, Mona, whom he once dated. And Carl decides to find out about the factory 'mishap' that killed Rose's obnoxious father.

The novel is entertaining, with an interesting array of characters and a nicely wrought plot. Highly recommended to mystery fans.

Though this is book seven of the series, it can be read as a standalone. 

Rating: 3.5 stars

Review of "Scrappy Little Nobody: A Memoir" by Anna Kendrick

My earliest recollection of Anna Kendrick is seeing her in the movie 'Twilight', where she played Bella's high school friend Jessica and said (about Edward Cullen):

"That's Edward. He's totally gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him."


Anna Kendrick (left) in Twilight


Rob Pattinson as the gorgeous vampire Edward Cullen

At the time I wasn't aware that Anna already had a string of accomplishments behind her, having started acting as a youngster in her hometown of Portland, Maine.

This memoir begins with Anna's childhood, during which she was 'small, not cool, and sensitive.' When Anna's dad introduced her to a Russian wrestler, the athlete insisted on calling her ANYA (despite her correcting him several times). Annoyed, the little girl glared at her dad, thinking: 'This Russkie is making a mockery of my name.....and your mother's name.'


Young Anna Kendrick

School age Anna was smitten with show business early, and - after learning to dance and sing - was cast in a local production of 'Annie.' Thanks to very supportive parents Anna auditioned in New York, got a part in a Broadway production of 'High Society' and was nominated for a Tony Award at age 12.


Anna Kendrick in 'High Society' as age 12

Tongue-in-cheek, Anna says, "I lost the Tony Award to Broadway legend Audra McDonald, so I've been a bitter bitch since before my first period."


Broadway legend Audra McDonald

Anna was hardly an 'entitled child' though. She and her dad lived in a small apartment in Yonkers for the run of the production.....and she did eight shows a week; got tutoring breaks every three hours; and - to combat loneliness - hung out with other theater kids.

Anna talks a lot about being short and skinny, which REALLY embarrassed her when she got back to middle school at age 13 (and looked 10). Anna tried to hide the fact that she still shopped in the kid's section and was crushed when a cute boy said he wouldn't date a short girl. The teasing only got worse when girls started getting boobs, and "a whole new area of uncreative slams emerged", such as "Hey Anna, you should date a pirate because they love sunken chests."


Teenage Anna looked young

In fact, Anna experienced a long string of 'boy problems' that she relates in several funny-sad stories. Anna's techniques for attracting boys, though "she wasn't pretty" (her words), included: being a good conversationalist; watching horror movies; and - when she got older - having kooky sex....."with a tacky red bustier for Valentine's Day and fuzzy green handcuffs for St. Patricks Day."

Afterwards, Anna pursued a musician who 'had no interest in her'....and then 'had a fling with a guy who was so good-looking he was as confused by his interest in her as she was." None of this worked very well, and Anna spent a lot of time alone in adolescence and early adulthood.


Anna had several boyfriends over the years, including film director and screenwriter Edgar Wright (pictured with Anna here)

Anna worked a lot, however, and at 16 was in a critically acclaimed independent film called 'Camp' - based on a real New York theater camp. In the movie, which featured homosexual and cross-dressing characters, Anna played "a loser named Fritzy who was in love with the popular girl Jill." Though the film was nominated for a Grand Jury prize at the Sundance Film Festival and Anna was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award, she says, "I wish I could have played a cool character. Even in my professional career I almost never played the cool girl....except for 'Up in the Air'."


Anna Kendrick in the movie 'Camp'

Feeling 'uncool' is reflected in Anna's real life, and she confides, "I like to tell people that I'm a square. I love rules and love following them." The one BIG rule Anna broke related to college. She says "I didn't want to go to college....which was scandalous because everyone in my family went to college." Instead, Anna went to New York when she was 17, and then moved to Los Angeles "without a car.....which was a mistake." Anna relates, "I didn't know you couldn't walk to a grocery store and get back home before the milk spoiled."

So the actress bought a used Toyota and jumped into pilot season....."which is grim, because you're sent in for everything no matter how wrong you are for it." Trying to succeed in Hollywood was tough. According to Anna "I was alone and freaked out, and stayed in my room a lot. I avoided spending money or ingesting calories. I didn't know anyone. Sometimes i worked as a temp for a catering agency, but most of the time I was hoping 'Law and Order' would need a mousy little teen killer so I could keep paying my insurance."

Being cast in 'Twilight' was Anna's big break in movies, and she went on to do other films in the Twilight series. Anna reports, "Twilight kept me in room and board while I did other movies for no money, like 'Up in the Air.' Anna went on to have a very successful film career, being featured in 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World', 'Pitch Perfect', 'Into the Woods', and many more movies.


Anna Kendrick in 'Up in the Air'


Anna Kendrick in 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World'


Anna Kendrick in 'Pitch Perfect'


Anna Kendrick in 'Into the Woods'

Some of Anna's most amusing stories are about fashion, and the need to look stylish on the Red Carpet. Anna's interest in clothes began as a child, and she notes, "In 3rd grade my fashion hero was Claudia from the 'Babysitter's Club' books." Anna compiled descriptions of Claudia's outfits in a notebook, and tried to recreate them with "the most absurd looking articles of clothing from Contempo Casuals or TJ Maxx."

According to Anna, "Some of it was hilariously provocative. My favorite piece was a black halter top that tied in the back and around the neck. Over it i wore a sheer white collared shirt with black velvet polka dots tied up at the bottom." At the time Anna thought she looked dope....but now realizes, "It was equivalent to a toddler wearing an actual dress of Paris Hilton's."

The above outfit created a stir among her schoolmates' parents, who'd confront Anna's mom saying, "W-O-O-O-W, you let your daughter wear a halter top to school?" Anna, who has a good sense of humor, notes, "Perhaps it should have prepared me for my current state of affairs where my clothing is the subject of professional debate for equally unaffected people. Bring on the critique Fashion Police."


Even as a girl, Anna was interested in fashion


Anna has a good sense of humor

Anna has lots of fun stories about designer clothing, including: being compelled to buy a one-thousand-dollar pair of shoes though she barely had rent money (she's keeping those forever)….. and an actress who 'took a swipe at her Louis Vuitton dress' at a party thrown by the designer himself.

Anna knew she had to learn about fashion. She recalls, "I thought I knew plenty about fashion. I knew gowns were more formal than short dresses; skirts were more formal than pants; and leaving the house in just socks and a sports bra would get you arrested." She goes on to say, "I've now learned a few things: nude shoes make your legs look longer.....and short girls, get it tailored, even if it's t-shirts and jeans."

These days, Anna is VERY fashionable, as shown by some of her Red Carpet looks.







Anna has lots of funny anecdotes about making movies, including stories about over-processed hair; uncomfortable costumes; and learning needed skills - like horseback riding; driving a stick shift; and cutting vegetables....to play a chef. Anna also talks about photo shoots and award shows, which she contends aren't glamorous at all.

According to the actress, award shows "are populated with nervous idiots in the nicest clothes they can find, and beleaguered chaperones in black jeans and blazers trying to make sure the nervous idiots don't set the place on fire before the night is over." Moreover, at awards shows "you stand between the fans and a line of photographers who shout at you: over here, turn around, tell us who you're wearing; show us the back of the dress. And you have to smile through it all!"

Anna also tells a heartrending story about the death of her grandmother while she was filming 'Pitch Perfect.' In Hollywood, the show must go on - albeit in waterproof makeup - and the funeral was planned for a Saturday, so Anna could fly in. The actress sadly notes, "Working regularly makes it hard to get home."

Anna is now all grown up, but is  'the world's most reluctant adult.' She recalls, "I was in a rush to grow up during my entire childhood because I looked so young. I worked hard to show I was independent and mature." She goes on to say, "As an adult I have a lot of anxiety and am a bit of a (wo)man-child. Sometimes I test the waters of self-improvement: stop buying fancy lingerie....it's white cotton comfort all the way; do my laundry on a schedule instead of three days after I run out of underwear; improve my fitness habits; make my bed; pay my bills; make time for friends and family.

Anna wants to 'get it all together and be a real person.' I think she already is.

I enjoyed the book and recommend it to readers who like celebrity memoirs.

Rating: 4 stars