.jpg)
In this 5th book in the humorous 'Jaine Austen Mysteries', Jaine helps solve the murder of a vivacious interior decorator.
*****
Los Angeles resident Jaine Austen is an amateur sleuth and writer whose work, so far, is mostly brochures, resumés, and advertising copy.
As the story opens, Jane is looking for bathing suits at the Bargain Barn and strikes up a conversation with a fellow shopper, Pam Kenton. Pam says she's a waitress and actress looking for a better job, and Jaine offers to to write Pam's resumé gratis.
To return the favor, Pam invites Jaine to the PMS Club, a group of people who get together weekly to bitch and moan while enjoying guacamole and margaritas. The PMS Club gathers at the home of Rochelle, who loves to play hostess.
Other members of the PMS Club are Doris - an older divorcée;
Ashley - a wealthy shopaholic;
Marybeth - a perky interior decorator;
and Colin - Marybeth's gay assistant (who's nice enough to serve the refreshments at PMS Club meetings).
Marybeth, an attractive bosomy blonde, bursts in late and happily chatters about her good fortune. She met a talented designer in New York who's going to be her new design partner; she's in love with a new man, but she won't say who it is; and she bought a lottery ticket on a whim and won $50,000.
Then, while rooting through a bowl of macadamia nuts, Marybeth mentions she's allergic to peanuts, and is assured there's not a peanut in sight.
During the evening, an overheard phone call reveals Colin is annoyed because HE expected to be Marybeth's new interior design partner; and female chatter discloses Rochelle thinks her husband Marty is having an affair.
At the next meeting of the PMS club, Marybeth eats a scoop of guacamole on a tortilla chip and drops dead.
It's later revealed the guacamole contains peanut oil, and the members of the PMS Club are all suspects. So, another case for Jaine Austen, who helps the police by 'investigating' each club member in turn.
Meanwhile, Jaine has other things on her mind, especially her shrinking bank balance.
Jaine is always looking for more income, and she lines up an interview to write the monthly 'Tattler' newsletter for the Union National Bank.
However, the interview goes awry because of Jaine's cat Prozac.
At the veterinarian's suggestion, Jaine put Prozac on a diet, and Prozac - who's accustomed to eating Bumblebee tuna - is furious about the 'Dee-licious Healthy Haddock Entrails.' Even worse, Prozac smells empanadas and Chunky Monkey ice cream on Jaine's breath.
So in a fit of spite, Prozac hides Jaine's queen-size waist-nipper pantyhose, and they fall out of Jaine's attaché case during the Tattler interview.
The dishy banker, Andrew Ferguson, jokes, 'Do you have something in fishnet?' In any case, this job is put on hold because Jaine is technically a murder suspect.
In addition to Prozac's antics, which continue throughout the book, Jaine is concerned with a variety of things.
❆ Jaine's best friend Kandi is getting married, and chose pink Cinderella gowns for the bridesmaids. When Jaine goes for a fitting, she's appalled. Worse yet, Jaine is compelled to wear the dress for a different occasion.
❆ Jaine teaches a weekly memory-writing class at the Shalom Retirement home. Her most enthusiastic student, elderly Abe Goldman - who tries to take Jaine for romantic walks in the parking lot - switches his attention to an octogenarian blonde bombshell called Goldie Marcus.
❆ When Jaine's neighbor Lance sees a photo of the PMS murder suspects in the media, he insists Jaine set him up with 'hot' interior designer Colin. Jaine is reluctant, since Colin may be the killer, but Lance outwits her.
❆ Jaine's parents, who live in a Florida retirement community called Tampa Vistas, are constantly emailing Jaine, usually about her father's kooky antics.
This time Jaine's mother (Username: Shoptillyoudrop) writes:
Subject: America's Most Irritating
You won't believe what your father is up to now. The absolutely nicest man has moved to Tampa Vistas, Jim Sternmuller, a retired minister. Just the sweetest, kindest man you could ever hope to meet. But for some reason, your father is convinced that he's seen Reverend Sternmuller on 'America's Most Wanted.' He says he's the Hugo Boss Strangler, a madman who runs around strangling women with Hugo Boss ties. And now Daddy is determined to unmask Reverend Sternmuller.
Jaine's father (User Name: DaddyO) writes:
Subject: The Nose Knows
We've got a mass murderer in Tampa Vistas, some guy passing himself off as a retired minister. But I recognized him the minute I saw him. He's the Hugo Boss Strangler. Kills his victim with a designer tie. Trust me, sweet pea, The Nose knows!
This situation escalates as Jaine's mom buys a 360-day supply of Stress-Less vitamin pills, and Jaine's dad collects Reverend Sternmuller's DNA and fingerprints. First, DaddyO pretends to see a bug on Reverend Sternmuller's head and pulls out a hair for DNA; then DaddyO steals a fork from a restaurant Reverend Sternmuller is dining at - for fingerprints. DaddyO then sends them to the FBI.
To me, communications from Jaine's parents are the funniest part of the book.
There's plenty more happening, as Jaine works to solve Marybeth's murder in the midst of her own busy life.
Besides everything else, there's scene after scene of Jaine scarfing down food: Pop-tarts, bagels, hamburgers, french fries, flourless chocolate cake, burritos, ice cream, brownie a la mode, guacamole, steak, chocolate, etc. This ongoing joke may irritate some readers.
I'm a fan of amusing stories and I enjoyed the book. Recommended to readers who like humorous cozy mysteries.
Rating: 3.5 stars
No comments:
Post a Comment